I have been a scrupulous Catholic for many years, and it has kept me away from the sacraments. I’'m also plagued by what I would consider blasphemous thoughts - words I don’t use in daily language that come to my mind with God’s name in it. It’s horrible, and this weekend, I went to confession after a long time. No sooner was I in the pew saying my penance but it happened. I can’t tell if it’s temptation or if I’m mentally trying to test myself and then boom ! I’ve said something horrible. What should I do? I received Holy Communion today after that happened wondering if I was committing sacrilege. I lost my mother last week and now have to receive at her funeral. Must I go to confession every hour? Please don’t tell me I have to pray or frequent Church - It happens so quickly after confession - I’m beginning to wonder is it me…is something wrong with me? This has nothing to do with my Mom’s dying - I’ve had this problem for years.
I see NO sin here. But I do see what could be an example of obsessive compulsive disorder. This is a psychological matter more than a spiritual one. Such disturbing thoughts are involuntary and therefore cannot be sinful. This is a cross the Lord has given you and it is not a light one. Many, many people carry it. I suggest that you seek some professional help with this.
This might help you find therapist who shares your values:
You are in our prayers.
Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.