If you were married under false pretences, such a lie of omission or misrepresentation (that of the virginity or lack thereof of a bride) is directly mentioned in the CIC as grounds for an annulment (declaring the marriage to be a not-marriage that never occurred). So it is a very serious sin for her to have withheld such information, and a greater sin to directly misrepresent herself in the way that she did; and a sin to have lost her virginity in college; and to have broken her oath to you and to God. You are innocent in this, completely and absolutely. The anger you feel is righteous indignation: as Christ truly said, “Whoever is angry with his brother without a reason is liable to the judgement”. You have a reason.*
If you want to keep your marriage, tell your priest of this and ask his advice; if you still wish to keep your marriage, get some marriage counselling along with your wife, to deal with betrayal, trust, etc. What you say is a very personal issue; I don’t think we can give any more advice than “seek real life help” over the internet. Trust is broken; control results. Eventually when fights break out, recrimination will follow: and this will haunt you 'til ye part, if you do not seek counselling and healing (and it may even if you do).
If I were not celibate, it would be a deal-breaker for me: I would seek the annulment, as I could not trust the woman. How could one trust such a person who has proved her utter untrustworthiness, until she be regenerated? That you are not immediately doing this says that you are holier than I; as Joseph was minded to put Mary away, believing she was unfaithful (of course, don’t carry the analogy too far, as Mary wasn’t unfaithful; the woman you speak of was; but Joseph believed Mary was unfaithful), and indeed a forgiving man: “forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us”. I hope that your wife truly (operative word, “truly”) repents for the myriad sins of omission and commission which weigh upon her, no matter what happens to the marriage; and I hope for God’s will to be shewn forth, and his grace and mercy also; which mercy you, in this case, wish to exemplify far better than I ever could.
I pray for you in this hour of trial, in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, the only-begotten of the Father, who liveth and reigneth with the Holy Spirit, one God, eternal and changeless, unto the ages of ages. Amen.
*The modern corrupt Nestle-Aland text based on Westcott and Hort’s imaginary reconstruction of the Greek NT removes the section “without a reason”, stating that it is a sin to be angry with a brother for any reason. This is obviously a false reading, as it causes even Jesus himself to be a sinner, who was filled with righteous anger several times, most memorably at the cleansing of the Temple from moneychangers (which he did at least once, maybe twice).