"What should I do?"


My wife is protestant and refuses to try natural family planning, and get off of artificial contraceptive drugs. Am I commiting any type of sin when I have relations with her. How do I know if I am doing enough? Do I need to confess this, or is it “on her” (so to speak)


I would say that you should really be talking to your priest - and yes, please confess it! The use of contraceptives is a sin (even if you do not want to use them, the fact that your wife does doesn’t change the fact that they are still being used.)

I will pray for you, as I can completely understand your pain and frustration in this situation.

Your brother in Christ,


When have I done all I can do. There is only so much I can say to her, in fact the more I bring it up the less she wants to hear it. I agree that I need to talk to a priest, and pray, and pray and pray. But am I commiting a sin personally?


[quote=Gregory24]When have I done all I can do. There is only so much I can say to her, in fact the more I bring it up the less she wants to hear it. I agree that I need to talk to a priest, and pray, and pray and pray. But am I commiting a sin personally?

It is my understanding that you are obligated to try to change your wife’s mind on this issue. However, if you are doing so then you are not committing the sin yourself. If you do not try to change her mind then you are effectively participating in her sin and you would then be sinning yourself. This is only my understanding. Please talk to a priest about this.


I am no expert but I don’t think you are committing personal sin. You have done everything within your power to correct the situation; you cannot force someone to do something they don’t want to do.

I am in a similar situation being married to a Protestant man. I don’t have the contraception thing to worry about but I have other things that I won’t go into. I was once told by a priest friend that I have done everything within my power to change a particular situation, although still in the situation my husband didn’t (doesn’t) think the Church has any business in our life and the Chrurch rules don’t affect him, I wouldn’t be held accountable as if I had committed personal sin.

I feel as you do though. I constantly pray about my situation and I constantly ask God for forgiveness. I would say to make an appointment with a priest and have this discussion with him. He can advise and counsel you better than we can.

God knows our situations better than we do and understands our circumstances better than we do. He understands that we love our spouses and our relationships. There’s more to it than just the issue of contraception - there’s love, responsibility, possibly children and all that that entails. I think God understands that we can’t just walk away now - cut and dry.
Talk to your priest.

I’ll keep you in my prayers when I pray for my situation with my protestant husband! You’re not alone!


The only thing I can come up with is this. It may be a bit harsh, so i’m saying sorry first. You are a Catholic which believes that any type of artificial contraception to stop from pro-creating in wrong (sin). She (wife) is a protestant that wants it her way. Could she be continuing to take these drugs just out of spite? Remember you both have different beliefs and no common ground to stand on. You know it is wrong and it is hurting you on the inside, but it seems to me, that she only cares for herself and not you. If she is stuck in her ways then there may be nothing that you can do to stop her from using that contraceptives.


This question comes up often on the EWTN Q&A forum frequently. You are not committing a sin by having relations with your wife since you have tried to convince her of the error of her ways. You might want to try a different approach, however, and give your wife some statistics on how harmful birth control pills are to her, i.e. increased risk of certain cancers, increased risk of stroke, etc. Do this in a few months after she has cooled down some, though. Above all, never stop praying for her and all the other women who have bought into the lies of the Culture of Death.


I grew up Protestant and was taught to take Ephesians 5:22-24 seriously. You are not asking that she do anything sinful, only something that inconveniences her. She should submit to you in love, regardless of her own beliefs on the issue of contraception.


The trouble is that by performing the marital act with your wife you are putting a third party (unborn child) at risk since the birth control pill most likely contains abortifacients which can kill your unborn child:


I’d reccomend posting this question at EWTN.com either under Pro-Life issues or NFP.


First of all you are not sinning by having relations with your wife, and you should contine to pray for her conversion. Pray before the blessed sacrament. Ask for Mary and St. Joseph to intercede for you with our Lord.

Second, might I suggest you get a wonderful CD from www.omsoul.com (stands for One More soul) that gives a very frank and honest discussion about the real dangers of the pill. See if you wife will listen to this CD with you. Don’t be judgemental of her. We are all at our own stage of conversion.

You are in my prayers.


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