What should I do?

Back in April I engaged in premarital sex with a boy. I had known him for a long time we had dated off and on, not that that makes it any better, but I loved this boy. He’s an atheist and does not believe in any of the things I do such as abstinence. I had planned on saving myself for marriage but I messed up. I have prayed and asked God for forgiveness and plan on going to confession as soon as possible, my question is what do you think I should do? I was very upset with myself that I allowed that to happen.

apart from confession, what do you think you should do?

Yes, sorry I should have clarified. Also I no longer am seeing this boy.

once you confess and are absolved, don’t beat up yourself over it. there are tons of threads where people write about virginity being the holy grail of matrimony, but you’d do best to ignore them. “messed up” overstates the situation.

Thank you, that really means a lot to me.

After confession you should break if off with this boy since it clearly sounds like you are unable to control yourself around him. If you love him you will do God’s will and not be an occasion of sin for him, or let him be an occasion of sin for you. We cannot say we truly love another person if we do not care for their immortal soul. Now is doing this going to be easy for you? No! Especially now that you’ve had relations with him. I had almost a similar thing happen with a woman I loved. It was very difficult to break off the relationship even though we did not have premarital sex; I can only imagine how much more difficult this will be for you. You and your friend are in my prayers. Please pray for me.

The boy actually broke things off with me shortly after. I am now dating a boy who respects my beliefs and we discussed before we started dating that nothing would happen unless we were married. It’s now going on two months with him. The boy that I had relations with was a close friend of mine, I still care about him but all I want now is a friendship. Unfortunately, you’re right I can’t control myself around him. Thank you for praying for me, you’ll be in my prayers!

Happy to hear you are doing better. :slight_smile: Keep fighting the good fight :knight2:and thank you for your prayers! :crossrc:

I really appreciate your advice and prayers. It means a lot to me!:slight_smile:

Consider St. Augustine - he fathered an illegitimate child and slept around before hi conversion - and, yet, through the unfathomable mercy of God, he became a bishop and one of the greatest doctors of the Church. Repentance, confession, and confidence in God’s great mercy - and never despair!

Thank you! I really appreciate all of the advice people are giving me. I don’t have any catholic friends, heck, most of my friends aren’t all that religious, so I can’t really ask the for advice. I’ll pray to St. Augustine tonight. :slight_smile:

You’re doing great. Confess and let it go. Feeling guilty will do you no good, and God doesn’t want that for you. All God wants is for you to be with Him for eternity, and it sounds like you are on the right track. :slight_smile:

You’re right, I guess I never thought of it that way. Feeling guilty will do me no good. Once I confess and I’m absolved I will be forgiven. I already know what I did was wrong, it didn’t feel right even at the time. Thank you, everyone here is so caring. I feel welcome.

Don’t be hard on yourself. You sound like a good person, and anyone who tells you otherwise because of this, isn’t worth your time.

Thank you. That’s really sweet, it means a lot to me!

Don’t be hard on yourself. You sound like a good person, and anyone who tells you otherwise because of this, isn’t worth your time.

But, go to confession. I believe that one of the purposes of confession (as a Sacrement) is to provide a means of “release” of something that you may carry and harbor that forms a barrier between you and THE LORD (all three parts of HIM ;)). CAF may have satisfied the feeling, but absolution has prescribed requirements that are equally necessary for your spritual well-being.

I have posted in other places (that in the Confessional) [you should] allow for the dichotomy:

  1. YES, the Priest will have heard it all before and knows that GOD already knows what’s in your heart; and
  2. NO, not everybody’s ‘doing-it’

May HE save us all.

hey, just a suggestion on the last part. you said you don’t have many catholic friends? does your parish organize activities that yuo could join and meet people? or things to do around the dioceses. i thinik it’s important to have some close friends who share the same eliefs; it will help to strengthen each other. i definitely know how you feel, sometimes we lose sight of ourselves and god and get overcome by the things in the world. just a recommendation

Not that I know of but I was thinking of checking with the other Parishes and trying to find one. When I had my confirmation classes I really enjoyed them. I wish we had some activities.

Don’t date bad guys in the future. The sin was waiting to happen a long time before you actually did it.

The guy I’m dating now is a great guy. He and I are taking things slow. We aren’t going to do anything unless we’re married.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.