What should I know about marrying into a Catholic family?


#1

My fiance’s family is Catholic and I came from a Protestant background, and became a Mormon about a year ago. I’m going to attend a mass to be able to understand the Catholic church better, although I have attended mass before and have very little understanding of how it works. My family is Protestant, but I’m the only Mormon in my family, and the family that I’m marrying into is almost all Catholic. I’m all for getting involved in knowing all that there is about Catholicism to have respect for his family’s faith and I respect the religion as well.

How should I go about learning about the faith of the family that I’m marrying into?

Although I disagree with his family’s religion, what are some ways that I can support Catholicism in his side of the family? I know that I already asked how mass works in a different post, so I can refer to that when it comes to that and I plan to attend mass at least once asap because I’m excited to understand the Catholic faith while maintaining my commitment to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I want things to go as peacefully as possible and I show nothing but respect for Catholicism and my family’s religion that I left about last year. I want to hear the Catholic perspective of what I should do to keep the peace if matters of religion come up in conversation.


#2

Is your fiancé active in his faith? Sounded like he is. Have you started pre-Cana or another marriage preparation with the church. That would give some elementary ideas. Another, longer term idea, would be to look into attending RCIA classes. That would lead to more understanding. RCIA isn’t only for those planning on entering the church.


#3

Yeah, that makes sense. I haven’t started pre-Cana or anything with the church. I’ll have to look into RCIA classes.


#4

Just an update. I plan on attending RCIA classes to be able to understand the Catholic faith better. He’s no longer active in the church, though.


#5

You will need to understand he is obligated to marry in the Catholic Church, in the Catholic form. This includes about six months of marriage prep often called pre-cana. The wedding must take place in a Catholic Church or a dispensation be granted to not have it in a Catholic Church.


#6

What should I know about marrying into a Catholic family?

We should probably tell her about all the secret rituals and the secret knock.

I know we don’t usually reveal such things to the heathens but maybe we should make an exception.

:wink:


#7

Shush! Don’t give it away.
Seriously though, be prepared to see that so many of the patent objections are untrue and why.


#8

Do you mind if I ask what faith you intend to raise your children?


#9

We’re going to teach them both about Catholicism and LDS, even possibly send them to Catholic school if we can afford it.


#10

Thank you. What about baptism?


#11

UhOh…I can tell where this thread is about to go…

Anywho, I’m a NC who married into a Catholic family. If you have any specific questions, shoot them my way.

TBH, without knowing anything about your in-laws it kind of depends on them. My M-I-L was super open to me not being Catholic, but she’s a convert who knows what it can be like for NC’s at Mass, in the family, etc… MY F-I-L wasn’t as open when my wife and I started dating and early in our marriage but has opened up more as another of his daughters has married a NC. It’s hard to say how to keep the peace with them when it comes to religion, for me I’d just kind of “exit” the discussion until I got a feel for them. Now I can openly speak on religious, parish, church matters as I know where they lie.


#12

I’m sorry, did I answer wrong?


#13

No. He just meant that you are about to be met by a barrage of comments on how your children will have to be raised Catholic.


#14

Of course, I understand that.


#15

If you don’t mind me asking, how do you intend to combine the two faiths?


#16

Well, we haven’t got to that part yet. We’re still getting ready to be married and getting the preparations set up.


#17

For many practicing Catholics, this is the kind of thing that would be decided before even agreeing to marry, because it is a big deal, and when spouses don’t agree it can cause a LOT of conflict. Many people experience “reversions” when they have children. In general, I don’t think mixed faith marriages are a good idea. In the real life examples I know, the smoothest sailing occurs when one spouse does not care much about their faith, even if they never formally convert.


#18

I don’t mean for any conflict to come up on this post, so I apologize in advance if there is any. I have no ill intentions and the planning itself is very stressful, but I fully understand and can abide by how it is in the Catholic church.


#19

No you didn’t. TC apparently believes he is mistreated by the Catholic Church because he is not Catholic. What he talks about is something I’ve never experienced as a non-Catholic attending Mass, nor have I ever seen anyone treated the way he says he is. Many others have also never seen a non-Catholic spouse treated poorly by a parish and it is certainly not the way any Catholic community should treat anyone.

Have you and your boyfriend even spoken to a priest yet? Have you started marriage prep? In another thread weren’t you talking about going on a LDS mission? And now a couple weeks later you’re getting married?

Come here and ask questions all you want but you both need to make an appointment with his priest to start the whole process.

As far as teaching your children about both Catholicism and LDS, how will you accomplish that? Since the LDS claims attempt to refute almost everything the Catholic Church has ever been. There are only silvers of common ground. If you are going to expose them to more than the Catholic Church at least expose them to another Christian church.


#20

Oh, my apologies! I’m no longer going on a mission and forgot to update that. A priest will definitely be talked to. I’ve been in a companionship for three years now actually. My apologies for the inconsistency.


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