18 yr old son, (only child) goes to local college, lives at home, no car, job on weekends 12/hrs (but EATS his earnings).
He is driven to school 4 days a week, takes car to work on weekends, pays for gas if other than work/school.
Was diligent, straight- A, social student with perfect attendance in HS. Had a couple close friends who are now at distant colleges.
Here’s the problem: He spends between 3 and 7 hours a day playing “Call of Duty”. Which, if you don’t know, is an army/war/fighting/shooting, game. He plays online with friends and “friends”. By “friends”, I mean people he “meets” in the game. They talk to each other thru headsets. There have been some nights he has played 7 hours and sleeps 6. He has to get up at 6:45 for school, but falls asleep in the shower, in the car on the way to school (I am driving:)). He will come home and run right to the game.
We have told him the repercussions etc. (he needs a 3.25 to keep his scholarship. We can’t get a straight answer from him on what his grades are and I honestly think even he doesn’t know). He has a health club membership and only goes maybe once a week. Doesn’t know many people at school, since he is a commuter, joined a couple clubs but stopped going.
We kept a log of his hours played. 32.5 in one week. That’s more time than he was in school, more than he worked at his job. He barely does any chores. Always tells me “later” and when later comes around he is telling me has no time for that stuff, because he has homework to do or now its 1:00 in the morning and he is too tired and want to sleep.
He plays in our basement. If mom or dad go down there, he is mean and aggressive and doesn’t want us interrupting his time to answer questions, etc. He is now foregoing family dinners out, movies, just about any family time. He also has a potty mouth when playing the game with his friends. Yuck.:mad::mad:
I advised/told him he needs to stop playing less, join a bowling team, go to the health club, let’s watch a movie or play a board game, but it’s always either no thanks or maybe later, which never happens. He says it’s not about the game, it’s about his friends on the game. He even has a “interest” in a girl who plays online and lives 5 hours away! I overheard him say he wants to drive to meet her (not with MY car:eek::eek:)
He says it’s*** his life***, it’s his time he is wasting, he is not bothering anyone (which is true. house is too big to say his playing is disrupting myself or my husband.). But I lay awake at night worrying about the lack of sleep he is getting and the fact that he will probably forget to brush and floss tonite because he is too tired to even think about it when he finally does get off the game.
It’s like his goal in high school was to get the excellect grades, keep his perfect attendance and get the scholarship. Now that he has done all that and “arrived” he has regressed to 5th grade! He is unsure of what career he wants- (something in medicine). He is also paying for most of the balance of his tuition. I have explained over and over how he will lose his scholarship, etc. He says he’ll be fine. Stop worrying. Leave him alone.
Regardless if he gets the 3.25 and retains his scholarship, this is driving myself and my husband nuts. It’s all the kid does. Do we have the right to limit video game playing of an “adult”? And if so, how do we go about doing it?
I hate the phrase “it’s my house do as I say or move out” because it is so alienating. It was said to me as a teen and I was being abused. It made me feel like I belonged nowhere. So please don’t suggest that. IT IS MY HOUSE, I know, but it should be his soft place to fall. I guess it’s too soft now, huh?:shrug: