What should you do when a family member says he is "transgender"?

My brother in law told my husband and I that he is “transgender” a few weeks after we got married. We have been married for six months now and he has been getting even more extreme and demanding with the transgender issue. He wants everyone to call him his new woman name and is constantly attacking my husband’s parents even though they are trying to go along with whatever he wants. He is only 20 and now wants a sex change which no one in the family will support. We are all cautious because in the past year has had to be hospitalized twice for psychotic episodes.

We have tried to keep the peace while being faithful catholics by refusing to call him a woman. At the same time we haven’t forced our views loudly (everyone pretty much knows). We are at a loss as to what to do especially now that we have a daughter on the way - what will she call him, will they have a relationship at all?

Any advice would be amazing. We mostly just don’t respond when he pushes his liberal agendas but my husband and I feel like we are going to have a big conflict with his brother sooner or later because of our faith.

Dear friend,

Your brother in law will always have the same DNA regardless of how surgeons mutilate his body. It’s a matter of living honestly with what he has been given—as we are all called to do. If he chooses not to do so, then you are not required to enter into such a charade. I know that this sounds very politically incorrect; but only because we live in a culture that places feelings above truth.

If you and your husband remain constant in your refusal to go along with the above, accept that he will not want to be a part of your lives. On the other hand, you may need to distance yourselves if his mental illness becomes worse. I encourage whoever reads this to pray that he come to an awareness of the Lord’s love for him and be able to bare the cross that he has been called to carry

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.

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