What the heck does that mean?


#1

Me again, I just got an email from a vocations director and this is what he wrote

I would be glad to speak with you. I offer NO HOPE, but certainly am glad to give you some time to discuss your situation.

What does that mean "I offer NO HOPE" ? I don't understand? Could someone give me some help? I will call him but I don't understand what that means? It is almost bizare. Scoob


#2

[quote="scoobydoo6v92, post:1, topic:197431"]
Me again, I just got an email from a vocations director and this is what he wrote

I would be glad to speak with you. I offer NO HOPE, but certainly am glad to give you some time to discuss your situation.

What does that mean "I offer NO HOPE" ? I don't understand? Could someone give me some help? I will call him but I don't understand what that means? It is almost bizare. Scoob

[/quote]

Perhaps it means that his talking to you doesn't mean you HAVE a certain vocation (or a yes answer to whatever it is you want to talk about), just that he is willing to discuss it with you?


#3

True, but the wording is kinda different. I do have “hope” but I am not certain nor do I have “expectations” of him saying " Oh where have you been all this time? you would be a great priest" but the no hope is kinda off putting to me. I will see what he says when I speak to him. I do think my discernment is going south but we’ll see when I talk to him.


#4

Seems strange to me too since with God there is always hope. How can he know until he talks or even meets with you that he can offer no hope?
Good luck with your discernment.


#5

I just wonder if it wasn't just a poor choice of words. I understand that a vocation is much more than a job. But, if a prospective employer made an appointment to interview you for a position, he wasn't guaranteeing or promising that you would get that position. You have your discernment, but, the vocations director also is discerning with everyone he meets. He is perhaps responding to some of the communication you have had with him? You made the statement, "I do think my discernment is going south." Perhaps, he got that impression, too, from something you said or wrote, but is still willing to meet with you? I would suggest you continue to pray about it, but not be overly concerned about his choice of words. With God, all things are possible. Sorting out what we think we want for ourselves, or, what God wants for us can be a challenge.

God bless,
Linda


#6

A vocations director has done something weird, offputting, vague, and in general unhelpful.

OK.

I’m not understanding why you are surprised.

I’ve been dealing with VDs for years, and this isn’t even a top 500 weird thing.

And, no, I have no idea why so many Bishops decide that the VD position is just the right spot for their most goshawful employee. And they wonder why they have a priest shortage, the poor dears.


#7

by the way, what's the situation? as i have understood, he's referring to that certain situation.
it's also the role of the vocation director to discern if the "applicant" has a vocation, testing the spirits to see if they are from God (1 John 4:1).


#8

It sounds like he is trying to be kind to you by offering you his time to talk but without wanting to give you false hope, because for some reason, it seems to him unlikely that this is your vocation. This is likely not easy for you to hear, but “NO HOPE” does not mean “DESPAIR.” It does seem that he does not think you have a vocation. It might be worth speaking to him to find out his point of view as to why not- maybe there are deeper issues going beyond the age question only.


#9

Also...by the way...if you don't have a spiritual director or a priest you trust and can talk to openly- you should really find one. From this post and from other posts it seems that you might need some help with discernment and your spiritual life. Having a spiritual director has been very helpful for me!


#10

[quote="ThomasEugene, post:7, topic:197431"]
by the way, what's the situation? as i have understood, he's referring to that certain situation.
it's also the role of the vocation director to discern if the "applicant" has a vocation, testing the spirits to see if they are from God (1 John 4:1).

[/quote]

But the fact is.. the guy never met me nor heard my voice over a telephone how the heck would he know if I have a vocation or not These VDs just shut you down before even starting. It is garbage, how about inviting me to a seminary for a day to see what life is like there,, how about spending a few hours walking talking getting to know me before shutting me out. I am getting to the point where I think Satan is launching a direct attack on me through these VDs Age I am only 39!!! not 93 There are priests that get their holy orders 20 years older than me!! I am getting to the point where I give up and it won. I lost. The church states that you don't have to have a college degree to enter in seminary. In fact some diocese will use life experiences for college credits I mean i know music I know three trades it is not like I am a dummy. What the heck is going on? I mean i can't even get to first base, I can't even meet this guy and ALREADY!!! before getting out of the gate it is :NO HOPE" exactly I have lost all hope. I give up and will wait this life out and maybe God will let me in heaven I don't know anymore. I quit. But thanks for replying to my question I am glad I can always hear for you guys I really do appreciate it. Scoob.


#11

Just a thought- It does seem that you might really benefit from spiritual direction or counseling- this seems like a bigger crisis for you than one might usually think would come from inquiring. You might just need a little help to find hope again in your life now. Becoming a priest is not the answer for you if you are bascially unhappy with your current life, which is the impression that I am getting. Could be that I am wrong- but I do know from experience that you really need to be in a stable and relatively happy place in life before you can really discern. This might mean discovering God’s love for you in a deeper way in your life now through prayer, the Sacraments, engaging the spiritual life, etc. However, maybe deeper healing is needed from a counseling perspective. You can be angry with me for suggesting this if you want to be, but I am truly concerned about you. I will say a prayer for you!


#12

[quote="scoobydoo6v92, post:10, topic:197431"]
But the fact is.. the guy never met me nor heard my voice over a telephone how the heck would he know if I have a vocation or not These VDs just shut you down before even starting. It is garbage, how about inviting me to a seminary for a day to see what life is like there,, how about spending a few hours walking talking getting to know me before shutting me out. I am getting to the point where I think Satan is launching a direct attack on me through these VDs Age I am only 39!!! not 93 There are priests that get their holy orders 20 years older than me!! I am getting to the point where I give up and it won. I lost. The church states that you don't have to have a college degree to enter in seminary. In fact some diocese will use life experiences for college credits I mean i know music I know three trades it is not like I am a dummy. What the heck is going on? I mean i can't even get to first base, I can't even meet this guy and ALREADY!!! before getting out of the gate it is :NO HOPE" exactly I have lost all hope. I give up and will wait this life out and maybe God will let me in heaven I don't know anymore. I quit. But thanks for replying to my question I am glad I can always hear for you guys I really do appreciate it. Scoob.

[/quote]

Scoob, as I recall, you have been through this before. Did you fill out an application? You must have sent in something for the Vocations Director to review. The application probably has enough information on it that he can make a judgment call that it may not be a good fit for you.

I am sorry it is not what you want to hear. Sometimes our plans and desires of the heart are not exactly what God has planned. It also does not mean that you cannot be instrumental in the church in some other capacity.


#13

No I didn't fill one out, I just emailed him to talk about my discernment. And I got that email. That is why I am puzzled. kinda wierd I think.


#14

[quote="scoobydoo6v92, post:13, topic:197431"]
No I didn't fill one out, I just emailed him to talk about my discernment. And I got that email. That is why I am puzzled. kinda wierd I think.

[/quote]

Interesting. Since we do not know the content of the email there is no way for us to guess the VD's intent.
Did you fill out previous applications?

Why don't you go and pick his brain for ideas, suggestions, guidance? He sounds interesting in assisting in someway.


#15

I am also very sorry that this has been a frustrating and disappointing process for you.


#16

Thanks. I am sorry for laying this out to you guys, I am sure there are a few others that have been through this and you can’t talk about this at work or with friends that don’t understand. No matter what happens I will always be open to God’s call. I hope something gives somewhere. Thanks again. Scoob.


#17

[quote="scoobydoo6v92, post:16, topic:197431"]
Thanks. I am sorry for laying this out to you guys, I am sure there are a few others that have been through this and you can't talk about this at work or with friends that don't understand. No matter what happens I will always be open to God's call. I hope something gives somewhere. Thanks again. Scoob.

[/quote]

Something will give some where. Really, think about taking him up on his offer to chat with you. He may give you some wonderful ideas.

In the mean time, God has a really fabulous plan for you and is waiting for the perfect moment to reveal it.

Like you said, pray and maintain your open heart.

God Bless Scoob and do not despair. You have great value to add to the church in some form.


#18

Scoob, as I told you on a similar thread, NEVER give up! Despair is a trick of the devil! In fact, I would say that you having this much trouble means you would probably make a truely awesome and holy priest. The evil one does not want that.

As for what the VD means by no hope, probably just that he does not want you to have any false expectations since he is just getting to know you. He is just being cautious. Go to meet with him with an open and peaceful heart. It will help.


#19

[quote="MFTM, post:18, topic:197431"]
Scoob, as I told you on a similar thread, NEVER give up! Despair is a trick of the devil! In fact, I would say that you having this much trouble means you would probably make a truely awesome and holy priest. The evil one does not want that.

As for what the VD means by no hope, probably just that he does not want you to have any false expectations since he is just getting to know you. He is just being cautious. Go to meet with him with an open and peaceful heart. It will help.

[/quote]

I have to say that what you have said has made me feel much better, Looking at this at another view, getting outside myself I see that maybe it is satan throwing roadblocks in my way. I am sure satan is trying to make me think God hates me or I am a broken toy or a factory reject if you will. I will meet with him as I called him and he wants to meet me and that will be next week. He was nice and I was at pause with his wanting me to see him. Let's see. Thanks for all your support and encouragement and honest advice. God bless Scoob.


#20

From the OP, as others have said, focus on "but certainly am glad to give you some time to discuss your situation." Take that opportunity to ask him what he meant, and to give him a chance to get to know you, which may also help you with your discernment. Sometimes it takes the objective perspective of someone else to help us to come to understand ourselves better. Others often see things - both strengths and weaknesses - in us that we do not, or choose not, to see in ourselves. My Spiritual Director does that for me. I respect him for telling me what I need to hear about myself. And, no, it is not always easy for me to hear the truth about myself. But, I think - I hope - I grow a little every time. (He lets me know!) Continue to pray about it. Go - with an open mind!! If you go defensively, you will only hear what you predispose yourself to hear. Let it be a learning experience. Don't hesitate to ask any questions you may have. Are you really going to be at peace if you don't go??

I meet with my Spiritual Director on Tuesday. I look forward to it, but, I also know his honesty may throw me a curve I don't expect. It is good to be challenged to be better and to do better. I have no doubt he has the best interests of my soul at heart.

At every Mass we say, "Lord I am not worthy to receive You". It doesn't end there, though, does it? "...but, only say the word, and I shall be healed."

God bless,
Linda


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