What to do when a man is in love with a woman yet still is attracted to men?

Hello, I need the help of my friends at Catholic Answers. I have a friend that has been dating a girl for quite sometime and he is in love with her. He is thinking of proposing to her. The other day when we met, he broke down crying telling me he had something to confess. He suffers from same sex attraction. He had sexual relations briefly when he was a teenager but has never resorted back to that lifestyle. He is tempted at times with this desire but never consents. He wants to marry the girl he loves and wants to have a family. He believes that he can fulfill his marital obligations with her but he doesn’t want to tell her about his past acts and current disordered feelings. He asked me if he should tell her or leave it as it is. I’m not sure how to answer him. I asked him if he confessed these sins and he said yes. I asked him if he spoke to a priest regarding this issue and he said no and that he is scared. What can I say to him to ease his pain? Thanks!

Dear Matten,

Put you friend in touch with Dr. Joseph Nicolosi and his National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality. Before ever considering marriage, your friend needs the kind of help that NARTH can give… His situation sounds very hopeful. NARTH can help him to live a very normal life. Here is the website:


He is in my prayers.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.

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