So my fiancé and I have been together for 3 years and engaged for one year. We have spent the last few years discussing our future life together and have focused on how to best have a marriage where God is the center of it. We both believe God is calling us to married. We are so close; we talk about everything and are each other’s best friend. I am 21 and he is 23. I will graduate from my undergraduate degree this May, and he has already graduated and is now perusing his Masters Degree in Architecture. And as soon as I graduate I will start my masters degree in Public health. We are basically financially independent from our parents, I have paid for my entire education by my self, and my fiancé is doing the same. Since we are students when we get married we wont have much money, but we will have the same things to pay if we were together or not (just cheaper rent because we will be living together instead of separate). I really believe we are ready for marriage and we are going through all the necessary preparation and trying to think through every aspect of marriage (even children ).
So… the point of my post: My fiancé and I really want to get married this August. And we just started making plans and letting our family know this January. We have already reserved a church and reception place. And we don’t want to spend too much on our wedding, if we only had the Marriage ceremony in the church (with our family there) and nothing else, we would be completely happy. My parents had offered to pay for the wedding, but my mom thinks we must have a reception and nice flowers and expensive photos and so on. And she does not think there is time to make all these preparations. She doesn’t want us to get married in August, just thinking about it makes her cry and cry. She wants us (tells us) to wait another year (at least) so she can have a year to plan the wedding. Also she is very busy with my younger brother so she says she doesn’t want to focus on a wedding now. But I tell her, she doesn’t have to do anything for our wedding, just show up and be happy… but this is not an option for her. She has other reasons for not wanting us to get married including: She is very success driven, and she thinks when I get married I will stop caring about my career and education. And she has always wanted me to be a doctor (even though I have never wanted to) and she thinks if I get married her dream will never come true. Also, my parents have not had the greatest marriage - they don’t communicate well (I can’t remember a time in my life when they got along, they don’t ever touch or kiss or even sleep in the same room) and she sacrificed her career for her children (me and my brother) and I think she likes to re-live her life though me.
So what should I do, get married in August and hope my mom will come… or wait an entire year just to make her happy?
Also, does anyone have advise as to something I could tell her that could change her mind, it seems like everything I say has no effect.