What to do while you wait for "The One"

Hello Everyone,

I have done dating mistakes in my past like dating unavailable men, men that I think I would change, ect. I have realized that I been doing it all wrong (thanks to the culture). I am 29, single female. During this time, I have develop a strong prayer life, praying the Rosary daily and doing other prayers to increase in faith and love for your Lord. I feel overall much more happier and my life feels more joyful.
Deep down, I do feel a call for marriage and to give myself completely to my future husband and family. But I see my reality, I live in a small suburban town and not many guys to date, let alone Catholics. When I go to Mass and to Prayer groups in my church, I am the only single person. I do volunteer at church, I teach catechism to kids.
I don’t have problem attracting men, is just that I am looking for a Catholic faithful man that has the same values and beliefs as me. So in the meantime, what should I be doing while I am waiting for Mr. Right?

Thanks and God Bless!

Pray for his salvation. Seriously. There are many devout Catholic men looking for spouses. Your prayers for “the one” will certainly be heard and God will lead you to him. If you have a ladies’ group at your parish or an adult Bible study, St. Vincent de Paul Society, Choir…join it! Anything to get involved and meet people who may have unmarried sons/brothers/friends. People love to know that they have introduced good people to one another.
Good luck!

try to make female friends, even the married women can be friends with you. try not to think about it all the time. if God wants you to be married, He will introduce you to the right man. God bless.

Have fun. Do things you enjoy doing. By doing things you enjoy you will probably meet a guy who has the same interests. My sister in-law is recently engaged and she is in her thirties. No pressure, sweetie. You have tons of time. :slight_smile:

I would look on Catholic dating sites. You might also try dating outside of your “race”. There are plenty of Mexican Catholics all over the US, you would have beautiful children. :slight_smile:



I’m in an interracial marriage. I’ve seen beautiful biracial kids and I’ve seen some not so cute biracial kids. :wink:

Thank you! Yes I pray for him for God to heal him and prepare Him for our meeting. Yes, I been looking to join other groups from my area and meet different people. I feel is the best way to meet people through introductions :slight_smile:

Thank you Bisco,

My girlfriends and I got together yesterday for Christmas crafts. It was so fun! I agree, sometimes I over think about finding the one. I just need to trust our Lord :-).

Haha you are funny! I am a Mexican Catholic lady. I am open to date anyone. I have done online dating in Catholic Match, that is where I have found my previous two relationships that did not work out. Online dating left me sour and traumatized :crying:.

Thank you Kendra! Its good to know there are ladies out there in their 30s getting engaged and married. You mentioned you are in an interracial marriage. What has been your experience?

I haven’t been part of too racist many comments or anything. We have been married 2 1/2 years, but a couple for over 6 years. We are a white/black couple from Alabama and things are fine. We are also a military family, so we know people from everywhere. A lot of people have asked us if it was legal for us to marry in Alabama. Lol. The only out right racist thing I have heard and I have only heard it once was a black lady telling me that I shouldn’t be taking their men, especially one of the good ones. :rolleyes:
I am from a family with all sorts of interracial marriages, so it wasn’t an abnormal thing for me.
Both of our families are very supportive.

I think that you should work on divesting of the “waiting for the one” mentality-- as if your life is on hold. LIVE your life. Live it every day. It’s a gift from God. Travel, volunteer, go to school, progress in your career. LIVE. Don’t make decisions based on a “waiting” mentality.

I too had that “waiting for the one” mentality and once I shifted my focus into being satisfied with my life as it was, I actually did meet “the one” a few years later.

what a lovely post. I too am in a similar situation and have come to exactly the same conclusions. Prayer is helping me also in trying to stay focused on what is really important.

I don’t think I have any practical advice at this point but I will pray that you continue on this illuminating path and eventually find the one you are looking for.

You live, you don’t wait for someone to come. They are like buses, when you want one none ever come, when you don’t want one 3 come at once.

Travel, learn stuff - anything, shop, read, watch films at 2pm on a Thursday, spend time with friends, make new friends. Just live your life.

You’ve wasted your most fertile years letting unscrupulous men use your body with impunity but now that you’ve had your fun and your attractiveness and fertility are waning, it’s time for a sucker to come and take care of you.

This is warning to any men out there, especially Catholic men that want to raise a good family. Never settle for a woman like this–you’re being played for a fool and you will regret it. If you want to spare yourself from the future destruction of your family, heartache and loss of resources, you’ll move right on along.

Whether this particular woman has changed her tune out of genuine moral progress is not something I care to speculate on. What I can tell you is that this has every red flag in the book. No man in his right mind will see an attractive, thirty year old woman being unmarried as anything other than an indication of her sexual choices earlier in life. Those are the exact choices that stick with a woman and are highly correlated by divorce and unfaithfulness. Run.

Referring the the post above by: WastedYears

I don’t see how anyone could know this for sure unless they were some kind of private investigator. Seems a bit harsh to directly jump to this conclusion.

In any case forgiveness is a key part of our Catholic faith. After all, some of our most famous saints were men and women with questionable past lives. Don’t forget what our very own first Pope said to Jesus the first time they met.

Forgiveness doesn’t take away real-world risk or consequences that are already in play.

I know it is very hard to believe but yes it does, this is the case with TRUE forgiveness. Please note I am referring to forgiveness between God and the sinner (not to be confused with the involvement of a third party). Once this takes place there is actually less risk from this person than from someone who has never sinned before.

Of-course for true forgiveness to take place there are certain difficult steps one has to take and this can at most times confuse things if not done correctly and with an sincere heart. You could also question whether this has taken place at all. However you will almost always know it when it happens as it always brings with it a deep sense of joy.

Unfortunately you really do have to see it (or live it) to believe. It is impossible to explain even in person (let alone across an internet forum).

“There was a certain creditor who had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. And when they had nothing with which to repay, he freely forgave them both. Tell Me, therefore, which of them will love him more?”

Simon answered and said, “I suppose the one whom he forgave more.”

I shouldn’t have to point out the obvious fact that consequences still exist for actions or else penance and Purgatory would not exist. Further, thinking of any real-world situation should clear up such an absurdity: the murdered do not return to their prior state in life once a murderer is forgiven; the habitual porn-user doesn’t cease to have any inclination to look at porn simply because he is forgiven.

One can only act on what he knows. Just because a hooker might be a decent wife doesn’t mean the intelligent man will marry one. But you can marry whoever you want.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.