Hi, i’m 23 with a brother who is 3 years older than me. There are 5 of us in total… i’m the only girl. 3 of my brothers are working or in school.
My problem with my one brother is that he has not been contributing to the household or been responsible with his schooling/money. He has been to i think 3 post secondary schools already, all of which he didn’t finish. He’s began programs several times but never finishes. For one program, he was in school all the way up to his exams, but then he SKIPPED his exams because ‘he wasnt prepared for them’. He has wasted so much of his and my parents’ time and money because of lost tuition costs.
He also bought a car a few years back, is still paying if off, and my parents have told me that sometimes they have to make his car and insurance payments for him. (I’m definitely going to tell my parents to stop doing that b/c he’ll become used to it and think they’ll always cover for him!!)… btw, he also lives at home.
He has been working at restaurants/bars throughout all this, but he tends to spend it on entertainment/food/video games and not save it.
A year ago, through a friend, he got an internship at a pretty good company and in his field (computers) and has been doing that job… but this is not a permanent job, and i think their full time offer to him would be contingent upon whether or not he finishes school. At the same time, for some reason he has been working as a waiter at a restaurant, even tho his other job is 9 to 5 and has a good pay…
Recently he told me that he’s starting up night school again… YES, on TOP of the full time job + part time job. I thought his plan had been to finish school after his internship, but all of a sudden he decided to take night classes.
Another problem with him we have is that he leads a very unhealthy lifestyle - smoking, staying up late, eating junk food…The other week, i guess it was bad timing, b/c my other brother, my dad, and myself, all had nagged him about different things within the same short time period… He ended up blowing up at my dad, telling all of us he hates us, and punching a whole in our wall.
He didn’t talk to all of us for a week until yesterday, when i just kind of extended my hand to him to make peace, then he shortly after came and talked to me and then we were OK again. .
Today i just found out from our mutual friend that my brother had just bought a new game console… quite expensive, not to mention the games you have to buy for it. This infuriated me because the other day when i asked him why he was doing 2 jobs, he said, “WELL! BECAUSE… YOU KNOW WHAT?? NEVERMIND…”… so like, i kind of feel like THIS is why. I feel like he is addicted to games, and always has to have the latest game console. I’m almost positive all his previous school attempts failed b/c he plays too many video games and has no self-discipline.
I’m infuriated too b/c now he’s going to waste so much time on that, AND expect to do two jobs AND night school??
Of course he’s not going to be able to do well in school again, and then what do you know, another wasted tuition. (I’m not sure if he paid for this tuition, or my parents, but either way, he’d be wasting time and money again)
I just feel bad for my parents b/c he never listens to them and puts them through so much stress. he doesn’t realize how much they have done for him…
I know that I have to talk to him, but I’m always afraid he’ll just blow up. And sometimes when i tell him things, he just has this “i don’t care or so-what? attitude”… I don’t know what to do…
Any advice is greatly appreciated…