It has been a while since I have been on here, mostly due to the fact that my Husband had been deployed to Iraq twice. He did Army ROTC all through college, but never received scholoarships because he ran track, and got his education from Athletics. In his final Spring season, he hurt his knee very badly, and his mom died. The Athletic doctor sent him to an Orthopedic specialist who told him that his tendons were torn, and surgury was not an option. The Army parted ways with him because of a serious joint injury. He was crushed because all he had to do was finish the semester, and then graduate.
Before the fiasco with his baptismal certificate, he could not stand the pain any longer, and saw a surgeon out in San Jose, who then told him that his whole problem was bone spurs in his knee that needed some shaving.
3 months rehab later, a dull pain he tried to ignore, and no torn tendons, he got his Army commission, and shipped off to Fallujah. 4 months later, his unit was hit with mortors, and he spent 5 weeks at home while they fished gravel and rocks out of his back. He was sent back to finish his stay, which ended up being extended.
3 months ago, his convoy was hit with a bomb, and again he ended up with gravel, rocks and one piece of shrapnel in him. He has been home a good bit now, and there is a real problem…
He has always been a detatched person. He shows so little emotion as it is. Now that he has a knee operated on, scars on his back, rocks in his shoulder, and had metal in his thigh, he is always in terrible, terrible pain.
He discovered Aikido and Kung Fu as a way to meditate and dull the pain. He someitmes spends 8-10 hours a day meditating and doing the whole kata thing. He will sometimes take single pieces of sand and line them up perfectly with tweezers for hours, and hours, and hours. I fail to see the point in that…
I used to call him a robot, but now it really seems like he has lost all emotions and feeling. I feel so cheated because I am missing out on what used to be a reseved, but really funny guy.
He is on light duty back here at home, so by the time I get home from work, he is in the garage, with his mind on another plane of existence, literally.
The doctors don’t seem to have any idea exactly where the pain is coming from. All they can say is “Geese, he seems to have gotten hurt in just about every area that can cause a world of pain…”
The only person that seemed to have helped him is this Aikido guy who studied in Japan and China for 40 years. It seems like I can only have a husband doped up on painkillers, or a husband who lives in 12th century Aisia. Words cannot describe his level of detatchment from emotion, and I just cannot take all this.