My sister and I are polar opposites, and it is very clear to me and so many others that she has anger issues and creates conflict where there should be none. It is soul-crushing spending time with her as I am walking on eggshells which is pointless because I know no matter what I do or say, she will find fault with it and go ballistic on me. It’s to the point where I will accept her apology just because it is the path of least resistance, but I know the next conflict is just an hour away. I have told her this so many times, and her apologies don’t mean anything to me because of how repetitive her behavior is. It brings down my mood completely and I honestly think she is a toxic person but she is my sister. She goes from saying things like “I just want to let you know how much I appreciate you” and “I love you so much” to giving me such a wrath of anger. I cannot bring myself to feel any warm feelings for her or excitement when I know she will be in town because I just know the one-sided arguments that are to come. I think this is one of the things that has caused me to be emotionally distant and I think she is a very bad role-model in my life and also encourages sinful behaviour like party drugs and promiscuity.
You can love members of your family without actually liking them. Stop spending time with her if you can’t have civil, adult conversations/interactions without it devolving into feelings of anger. You are an adult and you get to dictate who you associate with. Also, when I’m having problems with two or more related issues in my life, as you seem to be, I usually find the solution starts with fixing the defect in the common denominator.
Unfortunally you cannot change people behaviour, specially in modern day where the core is “me” and nobody else matter. I already lived with people who act like this, act like doesn’t live in society, those people will really change when some really strong happen in they life to think differently.
It’s really frustrate trying to be kind while everyone around doesn’t give a dang about it, I only advice that you focus on yourself, when you have this argue with your sister again, just try to stop as soon as possible for you not let your pride consumes and then you start act like her, too. And analyze the situation from the most reasonable possible to see what happen and then finish the tread. Because usually people than argue held bitterness and the pride start to speak out, thinking they are injusticed not see what really happen to reach that situation.
It would be helpful to know how old both of you are, and whether you live at home or not.
However, you can not change other people, you can only change your reaction to them, how you respond to them.
Could she be bi-polar? Has she, or anyone else in your family looked into that? If determined to be so, it could help explain some of it, and she could be helped, also.
Try not to spend so much time with her. I know you lived with your mother, a year ago, from your passed posts. If you and your sister still both live at home, still-try to limit your time with her. Are you under the social isolation rules/suggestions, as we are here? That may make it more difficult, but try. When she compliments you, thank her, but don’t let her rule your life. If you’re going to school or work, try to increase your interest in people and things there.
I know, it can be hard. Best of luck, and God Bless!
How old are you and how old is she?