I am looking for advice about my adult son. He is 22 next month.
He has been in school, but blew off the last semester. He doesn’t want to go back.
He has a low paying job that he has held for a year. It doesn’t pay enough to live on, and there is no room for advancement. He doesn’t want to leave that job without another.
He doesn’t want to look for another job.he lives in a rented room in a house with two other grown ups, that are no further along in life than he is.
I’ve suggested everything I can think of. And have been doing so since he was about 15. I’m a big advocate for school, but I’m not sure if I can trust him to actually attend class. I’ve suggested a trade, UPS. Teaching overseas…The oil fields in either the US or Canada (he can live and work in the US, Canada, or anywhere in the EU- he has citizenship). He got poped for pot a little while ago, and doesn’t think he can get Into the military. He tells me he has stopped smoking. He not going to church.
He lives in a depressed part of the country far away from me and refuses to move. He has a “friend” who he is terribly in love with but she is not interested in anything romantic with him. Yet he wants to stay in the area just in case. He will not come a live with me, ( I admit I don’t live in a good place right now) or with his dad. He has no health insurance, and although he is eligible for free healthcare through the state, he hasn’t bothered to get the papers in they have asked for.
He has no idea what he wants to do. I’ve had a terrible time getting him to participate in his own life. I don’t understand a man who cannot even dream of something he would like to do with his life. He has no goals, not working towards anything. He’s marking time. He’s been like this since his teenage years. And nothing I have said has helped. It has only been a wedge between us.
What am I to do? I can’t let him starve. I can’t cut off contact with him, I’m Pretty much all he’s got. He’s probably depressed, but without healthcare, and me living so few away, I can’t get him to go see somebody.
I’m really scared that he’s going to wrap his car around a tree someday. And I will be getting “the phone call”.
What do you guys think? He’s my only living child. I had little help in raising him, I was pretty much on my own. We had a good middle class lifestyle, but as he got Into his teens he just shut down. At 22 shouldn’t he be coming out of the teen doldrums and waking up to his life?