What to do

So briefly, my younger brother is graduating this May, his birthday is also in May as well as his, mine and my other brother’s Confirmation. So my parents decided that we are going to throw him a big party. Now my brother has a very diverse group of friends, friends who are black, mexican, asian, male, female, etc. We would also be inviting our youth group from church as well as their leaders and the priest.

Here is the dilemma, my grandfather has this really bad habit of insulting all of these different types of people. So my parents aren’t really sure whether to tell him about the party, not tell him and hope he doesn’t show up or what to do about the whole situation. Esp. in the light of the things he recently said to our faces about the Catholic Church (you don’t want to know).

So my question is, what would you do?

Sounds like a good party for Grandpa to miss.

I’d let the parents handle it. It’s their house, and even if they have it at a rented site, it’s their party. If they think Grandpa should be invited, he is, along with his mouth.

The youth group and your brother’s friends can probably handle Grandpa easily. I am almost positive the youth leaders and your priest can handle Grandpa if they can’t.

I think it has more to do with reflection on the hosts and having a good time without all the remarks as opposed to whether or not people can take the insults (most people can). Which do you prefer?

My dad and me (believe it or not my parents actually ask for my opnions) think we should keep it quiet from him, but I think my mom might feel a little guilty as it is her dad.:shrug:

Honesty is the best policy. Let Grandpa come to the party. Mabye pre-warn your youth group and church leaders of Grandpas tendencies to have his"say" on religous and other matters. If it is possible get your brother to do the same with his mates? Then pray and hope for the best! Good Luck:) :smiley: :thumbsup:

Is it possible that Grandpa might have no interest in coming to the party, given all the Catholics that will be there and his feelings on the subject of the Church? It might be you have nothing to worry about, if your parents invite him and he turns you down.

Keeping the party a secret could be really hurtful if he ever found out. Isn’t there anyway to invite Granddad and explain it will be a “get together” of a young, diverse crowd. He may opt to skip the party if you offer to have a nice family dinner party the next weekend. If he insists on coming, I wouldn’t worry too much. My best friend has a brother in law who is TOTALLY anti-catholic. I would never miss an event at her home because he was there.

Thanks for all of the replies, my mom says she will invite him saying that he probably won’t come because he didn’t come to mine 2 years ago. Personally I think it could be entertaining, I’ve always enjoyed arguing with all of his stereotyping.:smiley:

Your brother should get together with his friends and church leaders and warn them about the attitude grandpa has against the world in general. That way they will know to ignore the commentary. Just have him pass the word.


I have a slightly different suggestion. I’d definitely invite him. Tell him he’s welcome and tell him what “kind of people” will be invited as well. Tell him, that if he chooses to attend, you are asking that he keep his opinions and statements to himself until the guests go home. Say, “Everyone there has been invited, we approve of all of them, and we’d like everyone to feel welcome and not discriminated for any reason. We’re sure you understand, Grampa. This is (brother’s name)'s special day. Please help make it special by not making any remarks that would offend anyone. If there’s someone you don’t approve of, you can tell us after the party.”

I’d also warn the guests as much as you can.

Ruby Wannabe

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