What to do...

hi there

I have found a man that I love. I’m going to get married in less then 2 weeks. My dad’s side of the family doesn’t want me to get married. Mind you, the only people that are going are my parents and a few of our closest friends. My family doesnt understand that I cant invite them. (money wise) My husband to be is from a different country, he is here on a visa. I am scared my family and /or my father’s girlfriend will do something to get him to be sent back to his country. I know some of you might think, “oh, don’t like that” but you don’t know my family. I go to church, I pray, I believe with all my heart that God is great, but I’m at my lowest point. I can’t stop crying, I can’t focus at work. My aunt sent me a text today, saying I’m getting married just for him to stay here. I can’t anymore. I really having chest pains from this. My father has told me many times that he won’t walk me down the aile. This has hit me to the core. I’m starting to doubt my family my furture hubby. I just want to be alone.

If you’re having doubts about your future hubby, then you should definitely call a halt. Take some time alone in prayer to determine if this is God’s vocation for you. Perhaps you could go on retreat or visit a monastery or just make an at-home retreat.

Once you say, “I do,” it’s forever!

We’ll pray for you, too.

This sounds like a difficult time.
How old are you? How long have you known your fiance?
what country is he from - is it a country that has a tradition of respect for women?
Not all countries are like the US, and many women have married only to find that the social rules for women in the other country were unacceptably stifling. Will you live in your country or in his? How does his family treat you?
Do you share a religion?
What are his thoughts (and yours) on children?
It’s important to have some solid idea of what your married life would be like.

There are too many things we don’t know about the situation and the people involved.
I don’t think we should give you much advice on what you have shared although we mightn’t be able to help feeling there is much to be worried about regarding the marriage and your future.

Please speak to a trusted priest /truly wise and independent person of all your concerns.
You are unwise to marry if there is any doubt. The feelings you express show there is cause for concern for your well-being and the wisdom of making serious decisions (like marriage) while your emotions and state of mind are so off-balance.If your primary need is to be alone now, getting married is not the priority it needs to be, your peace of mind and recovery is more important at this time.

My concern and my prayers for you.

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