What to Do

So, a few months ago I went to a priest that I know who works at the college I go to for spiritual direction. We don’t have scheduled meetings, I can just got to him whenever I have a question or need direction. So, when I was talking with him that time, I was pretty sure that God was calling me to the religious life, and I had found an order that I want to apply to. And he said that I seemed to have a vocation to that order, and that I should visit them some more.
Well, at the beginning of this month, I had called the vocation director of the order, and told her that I feel like God is calling me to the order and that I want to schedule a visit. The phone call didn’t go as well as I planned. She told me to wait to visit them until the summer, and she seemed more discouraging to me, then excited about my visit, and possibly feeling called to the order. Ever since that phone call and lots of prayer, I no longer feel called to the religious life. I have fallen in love with a guy who has a very strong Catholic faith and values, and I could see myself with him in the future (if it’s God’s Will). And yesterday, while I was praying and looking back on my life, I realized that maybe I felt called to the religious life because it was an escape from my life at home. My friends and family at home weren’t in the world, they weren’t happy, and they didn’t have a strong faith. And I didn’t see how I could love and serve God in this world. I didn’t want to be a part of the world, I didn’t want to live ‘in’ it, and I didn’t want to work in it. It was in the convent where I could only see doing that. However, now that I’m at college, I’m afraid adults my age who are on fire with love of God, and they are happy, and they are loving and serving God while they are ‘in’ the world. Now, I no longer seem to have the desire for religious life at all, and I’m in love with this guy, who may love me as well, and I could see spending the rest of my life with him.
I would like to get guidance on this. I was going to go and talk to this priest about it, but I wonder what he would think. I was so certain on feeling called to the religious life, and entering within the next few years, and now I have desire at all, and I have fallen in love with a guy.

I think you’re just on the rebound here. The woman from the order would probably put you off some to see if you really had a calling to that order. If you can’t wait, then you have no calling. The discouragement is designed to weed out those who don’t have a true vocation. So, you fall in love with a guy. How do you know your calling is to married life? Your vocation to religous life was shortlived. Being told to wait blew it out. If this guy decides you’re too intense, he may decide to leave. Then where would you be? Take a break and continue to pray. Then go visit that order this summer. Make sure that the calling isn’t for there. The only way to really know is to go and visit. And back off on the guys for the moment.

I agree with Christy Beth. You need to slow down and really listen for God’s Will, and don’t base your decisions on fleeting feelings. Maybe do some volunteer work, and definitely spend some time regularly in Adoration–and while you’re there, just* listen. * Don’t expect an immediate, clear reply (though that could happen); give it time and lots of prayer. And remember to quiet your mind and listen.

Also, speak to your spiritual director. If you are worried that he will think poorly of your choices, that may be a sign that you already know you’re jumping around without knowing where you’re headed. Before you get lost, you need to slow down and figure out where you’re going–and you should probably consider his advice about it. :slight_smile:

Sounds like the person from the order was smart- giving you time to think and to be sure it was what you really wanted.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.