What to pray for - Please help me


I don’t know how to approach this so please be patient with me while I stumble through this.

I want to pray for and accept God’s Will in my life.
My Wife is in fairly advanced stages of Alzheimers and I want God to heal her, if it be for the Glory of His name and the good of her soul.
If healing is not God’s Will I don’t want her to suffer any longer than is necessary.
Especially since I know that God Loves her and she will be happier with Him than here with me, I wonder if I should even ask God to heal her, and yet I must ask for my own selfish reasons. I am not seeking any gain or recognition for myself, but I am selfish about my Love for this lady and want her with me and healthy.

I want to promise God everything in order to gain her health, Yet I also know how weak and inconstant I am in my faith.
I also want peace about all of this.

I know that we are to accept God’s will. I also know that we should ask and keep on asking. Yet the two seem incompatable.

I guess I need some words of wisdom and comfort about how to pray about this matter. Perhaps some dialogue will help me sort some of this out.

My apologies for all of the “I-me-my” in this post but figured I’d just blurt everything out and let others comment.

If I don’t respond quickly it is because tomorrow will be busy and I may not get on the computer until late if at all.

Thanks in advance for your help.



My Question: Do you really want God’s will?

If so, in your prayer state all that you wish to happen. Sky’s the limit. God does not want you to pray for him to give you a nickle. But as Jesus did in the garden of gethsemane … at the end say … “But your will be done”.

Accept the results and thank God for his choice and know that all will make sense when you are in the presense of the beatific vision.

I say this because I too wrestle with this question. Peace be to you and God bless you.

– Cadian :knight1:


JRKH, your post is a prayer! I suggest you reread it.

I also recommend that you pray this prayer over and over again. God will not shun a heart that seeks after Him.


James my prayers go with you and your wife.
As for me I’m a firm beliver in prayer I have gone thru a long year with really bad health issues My priest had to come to my hospital bed to give me obsolution. Many people and family members prayed for me. Year and a half later here I am not completly heathly but alive. As for my prayers, I ask God to help me thru this but whatever his will is for me I accept it. After all for me, I long to be with my lord Jesus Christ, so I have no fear of death.
Peace be with you my friend.

…jesus g



Your wife is blessed to have a husband that cares so deeply for her,
and you are too, for you know that you must trust in God for your answers.
I found this prayer in my prayer book which may be helpful:

Oh God, source of holy desires, right counsels and just actions,
grant to your servants that peace which the world cannot give,
so that our hearts may be wholly devoted to your service,
and all our days, freed from dread of our enemies,
may be passed to quietness under your protection.

Almighty God, you know our necessities before we ask,
and our ignorance in asking,
set us free from all anxious thoughts for the morrow;
give us contentment with your good gifts,
and confirm our faith that as we seek your kingdom,
you will not suffer us to lack anything we need
through Jesus Christ our Lord.

God, our Father, I turn to you in my unrest because I
cannot see any way out of the present situation
which troubles my spirit.
In my confusion I turn to you for help and guidance
for you alone can help me and nothing is impossible to you.
Light up my life with faith,
strengthen me in hope and fill me with love,
so that I may rest in your providence
which alone knows what is for my peace.

                                      (-Michael Buckley)

A shorter prayer which you may also want to consider during the day is the Serenity prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr:
God grant me
the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

I wish you patience and peace.


Yes certainly I want God’s Will. Unfortunately I have not subjegated my will yet and so keep wishing/hoping that His Will and my will are the same.
I do always pray that His will and not mine be done. also I do try to accept His Will and move on to act within that Will as it is given to me to understand.
I think the issue may be more one of patience and perseverence. One of having faith and belief in Gods promices. I’m sure it is the same thing that many people struggle with, and some even lose their faith because of it.

As for accepting God’s answer, it isn’t as easy to know what His answer is since this is an ongoing thing. It isn’t as though there is a finite time in which to clearly know what the answer is. I mean I prayed last night for healing. This morning My Wife is still ill. She has not been cured - Yet. So is this my answer? - or is my faith too weak? - Or am I being tested for perseverence? Should I keep on praying in an attempt to “storm the gates of heaven”? Or should I cease praying for healing because God has not healed her in 3 years of praying so I guess I have the answer?
So how does one both accept a lack of healing AND continue to pray in expectation of a healing??

Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate your help.
I just struggle so with all of these things. It is making me a spiritual wreak.
Maybe these questions don’t have any real concrete answers.
But certainly it must be concluded that my faith is smaller than a mustard seed since I cannot move this mountain before me.



Yes I see that. Thank you.

While I have not read any C.S. Lewis, I saw a movie called shadowlands about part of his life. He married a woman who was terminally ill, and someone was commenting about prayer in it.
His response was something along the lines of, "I pray because I must. My Prayer does not change God, it changes Me!!"
So in this struggle, perhaps it truly is me that must change to be more accepting of what God gives me each day.



Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.

Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful.
O mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen


Thank you for your touching respince and testimony. Praise God for your recovery.

I too harbor little fear of death right now. Of couse that may change once I am faced with it. God may do with me as He pleases. I try not to resist.

You bring up a good point in your post and it is one that I have struggled with as well. Since I Truly Love my Dear Wife and want her to be happy with Jesus in Heaven, should I not pray for her recovery?
Wouldn’t the more Loving thing be to simply accept her illness and even hope for (or at least take comfort in) her earthly death so that she may achieve that new life? I don’t mean withholding care or anything like that, but rather simply accepting the inevitability of her death and rejoice in the promise of the beatific vision?
So isn’t my praying for her cure, in a way, an unloving or less loving thing? Praying for her recovery from this disease will only mean she dies from some other disease anyway (after all even Lazarus whom Jesus raised from the dead died again later). So my praying for a miracle here is really a selfish act and not a selfless act. - Isn’t it??

It is all so confusing



Thank you for this prayer.
Now if I can only gain the wisdom to know the difference.



I wish for you wife to be well. And no your faith is not too small. Perhaps I was just projecting my own foibles into the mix. Ultimately … its God’s will and God’s plan for us. We must joyfully accept it and disern the meaning. St. Therese spoke of suffering Joyfully. For me, I hope I can follow that example. I know I have been very week of late. I do wish you and yours well. God be with you.

– Cadian :knight1:


Ah, a fellow C. S. Lewis fan :slight_smile: I hope this clip can instill some merciful and insightful attributes about Our Lord (I hope you know the context from which this clip is taken).



James my prayers go with you and you wife.

The quetions you ask I do not have a good or bad answer to maybe someone here can help answer them or you can pray to the Holy Spirit for guidence.

I come from a family of 9, 7 brothers and 2 sisters. When my father was in the hospital dying two years ago my brothers an sisters were praying for a miracle, me and my mother however were praying for God will and if His will was to take my father to heaven so be it. Needless to say my brothers and sisters got angry at me and my mother. My father died two months later. My mother and I were at peace with this compred to my siblings. You see my mother and I saw the whole picture my siblings just wanted a miracle. Two years later on that same day I died and was brought back by the doctors and prayers by love ones, thats were my health went beserk on me. If I make to February 2010 i’ll be alive one year thanks be to God. Ask the Holy Spirit for guidence and may the peace of the lord Jesus be with you.:thumbsup:

jesus g


No James, your praying for a miracle is NOT a selfish act at all. We are instructed to pray for healing, being anointed with the sacrament of the sick (you too for anguish of mind and heart!), and know that there are no answers to these questions you ask. Seems to me you are torturing yourself for having normal responses to this situation. If you shook your fist at God in anger, you would only be imitating the actions of St. Theresa of Avila. Prayer is about relationship. We can be angry at our friends for perceived wrongs and we can ask for their help in living with the difficulties. With you, all done with the* intent* of prayer at so it IS prayer, IS part of relationship with God and therefore IS a holy act. Prayers for you. And sometimes a priest or deacon can be very helpful in these matters, especially older ones.


pray the chaplet of divine mercy , jesus promises to grant whatever we ask if it is his will…
and ask god to heal her or if it isnt his will to help you and your wife


There have been many great posts on this thread. Thanks to JRKH for the question and to everyone else who answered.

I am also struggling with the same sort of question. Here is what I came up with. Miracles happen. Keep praying. Acceptance doesn’t mean that we stop praying. Pray and accept the immediate results in peace. Ask the Holy Spirit. He is here to help us.


To all who have posted, I send my great thanks.
As so often happens, expressing these things and getting feedback helps to soothe over the problems. I’m sure I will still struggle with this. It seems I have no other choice than to keep praying for something that God may have no intention of letting me have. (probably for my own good:D).

I pray for healing because I am driven to it by my Love for my Dear Wife. I pray for God’s will to be done because I am also driven to that by my Love for, and servile fear of The Father. In the end it will be entirely up to Him to do with us as He will.



You are truly “one flesh” and that is a blessing and holy.

PS. It may also be helpful to find an Alzheimer support group. alz.org/apps/findus.asp


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