What to tell my child of my gay sister and her so called wife

I have a 7 month baby and a sister who is gay and married already with a woman. She send me until now gifts for the girl like clothes and some toys and she is very happy that she has a niece. The question is how do i treat this subject from now on wit my child.Now she is small but in a year or so she will start to understand who is family and who is not. Will it be aunty Andrea and aunty Julia and how do i explain this to my child?

I think calling them both aunts will be fine. As your child gets older, I would refrain from using the word wife when talking about them, so that she comes to learn the word in the proper context.

Explain to your child that you love her aunties. And that they have chosen to spend the rest of their life together as partners, supporting and loving one another.

Your daughter is blessed to have these women in her life who love her!

Well I would not be yoked with such people, even family members. I would just use the aunt title for my sister, but only use the name of her friend. I would also be careful not to leave my child alone with them. The stories of abuse by homosexuals against children is legion.

If your sister has any respect for you at all, she will be more than happy to abide by any boundaries you set for your child. My brother is homosexual and has never done anything but be respectful of my wishes around my children. We call him uncle and the other by name. If your sister is unable or unwilling to stay within the rules you set for your children, I would keep my distance until she understands how important the situation is for you. Then again, I do not know your family dynamics and only give this advice as it would work for my family dynamic.

I think calling your sister ‘aunt’ and the ‘wife’ by her first name, or however one respectfully refers to adults (in my part of the country, it’s Miss SoandSo), is appropriate.

Answer her questions, including what the Catholic Church believes. When she is about eleven or twelve you should explain the situation to her and talk with her about what the Church believes / your sister’s lifestyle.

I like the balanced tone of the quoted comment and the decent honesty advised.

I am all for frank truthfulness when the time comes. For those who would consider real crossness, it is worth noting that when a child sincerely loves someone in their family, any fire and brimstone about that person on the basis of a faith, has a good chance of standing between the child and the faith in the long run.

Children and their love of family members… well you know.

Aunty and her friend seems nice and respectful to me, and I would just leave it like that until the time comes when questions need to be answered.

“Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple. (Lk 14:26)

Y suppose you can tell to your sister that now that you have a little daughter you want to bring her up in the Catholic faith, and that you are worry that she is not just a nominal Catholic or Christian (?), but that also hates God. Because anyone who does not keep his commandments hates Him. (cf. 1 Jn 2:4) If you want also she could meet her at this tender age but never leave her alone with her. NEVER. What are you going to tell your daughter when she ever see them kissing each other in front of her, to say the least?

For all who do evil hate the light and do not come to the light, so that their deeds may not be exposed. (Jn 3:20)
As you can see now people are not any more ashamed of their abominations but are freely free about it: the do it in the open. We must be near the end of the world.

They know God’s decree, that those who practice such things deserve to die—yet they not only do them but even applaud others who practice them. (Rom 1: 26 and 32)

Here is a call for the endurance of the saints, those who keep the commandments of God and hold fast to the faith of Jesus. (Rev 14:12)

The world cannot hate you, but it hates me because I testify against it that its works are evil. (Jn 7:7)
You must testify to your sister that her works are evil and the people that do what she is doing are going into the Lake of Fire at Judgment day. She needs to repent. Love her, but hate her abominable actions and let her be sure of that.

But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the abominable, the murderers, the fornicators, the sorcerers, the idolaters, and all liars, their place will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.” (Rev 21:8)

Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; (Rom 12:9)

I know that you cannot tolerate evildoers (Rev 2:2)

Have you ever take a stand against her actions? This is first thing if you love her and do not want her to end in the lake of fire. She must have very clear that you do not agree with that behavior and pray all the time for her conversion and of the woman that is with her. Then it is up to her to listen to you or not. But do not condone her actions.
In the love of Christ and of His teachings,
Gloria

Would you advise the OP also against leaving her child alone with a priest? Those stories “is (sic) legion” also.

There is no reputable scientific data to support the claim that homosexuals are more likely to assault children than heterosexuals.

I totally agree. Especially with the bolded.

I had a gay uncle. He was a wonderful man and I loved him very much. He always wanted children and was amazing with myself and my siblings when he came from out of state to visit. Quite a lot of my baby pictures feature Uncle D feeding me, tying my shoes, helping me learn to walk, etc.

One of the things I struggled with most when I decided to convert to Catholicism was that I believed the Church to be cruel to homosexuals and couldn’t reconcile that attitude with what Christ taught about caring for one another. Thankfully, the Church says we should love homosexuals and try, with kindness and compassion, to help them reach God. Love the sinner, hate the sin and all that.

My parent asked my Uncle D and his partner not to show physical affection in our presence and they complied. When they came to visit they treated each other as friends in our sight, at least.

We called Uncle D by his title of Uncle and his name. We called his partner by his name, no title.

When they came to visit, since they lived in another state, they stayed at a hotel because we had little room and my parents did not want us to see them share a bedroom.

Because my parents explained their requests and views in a kind manner and my uncle and his partner were understanding, we were able to have a relationship with my wonderful uncle and I am thankful for that.

No joke! Thank you!

This post reminds me of a story of when I was dating in my late teens/early 20s. I had the same boyfriend from high school through college. One day I was invited to a family dinner at his home, and his mother’s uncle (who was actually the same age as his mother) was invited as well. My boyfriend really loved this uncle, so I was excited to meet him. Well, uncle was there with his “room mate”. It wasn’t difficult for me to figure out uncle was gay, but he was indeed delightful and it was a nice evening. The next night I asked my boyfriend why he didn’t tell me his uncle was gay and he exclaimed “My uncle is NOT gay!” He went to his mother and laughingly told her I thought uncle was gay, to which his mom said, “well, honey, he actually is”. We were 21 years old, and this was the late 1980s. I just remember apologizing to my boyfriend and his mom and feeling like I was in a twilight zone episode.

I think the most important couple in your daughter’s life right now is your’s and your husband’s. As long as that is respectful and loving, I don’t see any worries in what other people choose to do in their lives. As long as your friends and relatives are loving to your daughter and respectful of your values, I can’t see any damage from them being in your family’s life. Your daughter will no doubt learn the teachings of her faith and that will chart her life.

I wanted to reply in the same way to that post but you were faster, thank you :), i agree wit you

This is a nice story, thank you. Also a good advice. Almost all the advices were good. I guess there is no problem with aunty and her friend as long as they respect my boundries.

Would you advise the OP also against leaving her child alone with a priest? Those stories “is (sic) legion” also.

There is no reputable scientific data to support the claim that homosexuals are more likely to assault children than heterosexuals.

I wouldn’t leave that child alone with a priest or his gay aunt! Why take the chance, just to try and make yourself look enlightened and modern in the eyes of some white liberal schmucks who say there’s no evidence somethings wrong with people who engage in homosexual behavior when we all know its not right and the risk is there!

We are called to hate the sin and love the sinner but loving the sinner doesn’t have to mean exposing our kids to homosexuality and pretending that its not a sin just to be nice and not hurt anyone’s feelings. Aren’t we committing a sin if we go along with the sinful behavior of others and don’t speak out against it.

what was the percentage of priests who were inclined towards homosexual behavior in the sexual abuse scandals that have rocked the Church? I think it was the vast majority of them was it not?

Isn’t the fact that NAMBLA exists some kind of evidence of the link between homosexual deviancy and child abuse?

I am sorry I have to disagree, with all Christian charity I believe it is in your child’s best interest to keep distance from this “married couple” as awful and has heartbreaking as that is going to be. I am not saying that you have to banish them from your life, however keep your relationship with your sister (if at all possible) just with you and your husband and try and shelter your child for as long as you can…visits, sleep-overs, inviting them to lunch, any visits that occur with regularity where your daughter sees two women calling each other WIFE as she is growing older can be damaging if you are trying to raise her in the Catholic faith.

Would you let your child be around a family that practiced bigamy? Would you let your daughter grow up being friends with and attached and loving to a family where the man had two or three wives that all loved one another and lived together? Maybe you would, many people would. It is so hard because it is not the PERSON we are distancing ourselves from but the SIN. Of course all of us our sinners, it is just the obvious in-your-face-I don’t-care-everyone-look-at-my-sin that we are talking about because those are the ones that children see.

Your child will be getting mixed messages that confuse her and that is the problem. Just if she heard that Mass is beautiful and wonderful and then visited relatives that constantly complained the Catholic church was an awful religion it would CONFUSE her. She will be growing up hearing that homosexual marriage is disordered and sinful and not part of God’s plan, then she will visit family seeing her “married aunts” smiling and perhaps even holding hands or embracing and this will CONFUSE her. You can ask your sister to respect your boundaries as you said, and not tell your child this is her “wife” and to not be affectionate in front of her, but how long will she do that really and where is the line? I tell you that the tolerance for asking those kinds of things is growing thin. We are pressured to accept. You already know this, this is why you are concerned.

Will your daughter know what gay people are and about their lifestyles? Of course! You will raise her to pray for and try and be loving of all people, it’s just that you can’t tell your very young child something is a grave sin then turn around and expose her to that very same grave sin expecting her to treat it as normal. That is where the confusion takes place.

Unfortunately you may have to decide between your relationship with your daughter and your relationship with your sister, but you already knew that. You are desperately seeking middle ground because you don’t want to lose your sister. I speak from experience I had to make a similar decision and was outcast from my family, I am not going to lie it was awful but I would not change my decision for the world. My children learned about homosexuality but at an age when they were** ready** to handle it and I could explain it, it wasn’t in their face at every Thanksgiving. I will pray for you I know what you are going through it just awful. Please take care as best as you can.

You are confusing homosexual behavior and pedophiliac behavior. For your information, many pedophiles present to the world as straight.

If they are shacking, then i guess you would handle it the same way you would explain anyone living outside the bonds of marriage. IMHO.:smiley:

I have the same issue with my brother. They are both Uncle_______ and that is how it is for now. If my sons ask questions later than we shall address it but I would not touch it until your child brings it up. My humble opinion. :slight_smile:

Not necessarily. Many pedophiles are homosexual, but that does mean that all homosexuals are inclined to be pedophiles.

Your child is 7 months? the only think I would do is have them call your sister aunt which she is and the other friend as her first name. At 7 months, I wouldn’t worry about the rest or trying to explain the situation because your child is just 7 months old as it will be a long time from now before she would even understand or ask about your sister and her friend and maybe by then, they would have split up. I think you are worrying about her knowing or understanding is jumping the gun a little bit.

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