Actually my vocation is a secret but i am going to tell you since you don’t know me personally and I use a pseudonym in this forum.
During my elementary years I studied in a school run by an congregation of sisters (the order is secret… you’ll know why). So Catholic schools here are very expensive but my father wanted us to have a good Catholic education. But we can no longer pay tuition fees. We present promissory note to the sisters to wait for us to pay but they won’t accept it. They even run when they see my father. This created in me an anger to this order of nuns.
We studied in a public school when I was in Grade 5. Since it is a public school, the school doesn’t offer catechism classes. Good thing a group of catechists from our archdiocese came and taught us for free. I even had a teacher who is a Missionary Catechist Sister of the Sacred Heart who is very kind. He wrote to Pope John Paul II to send us rosaries and we were given rosaries, which I still carry.
In highschool, I was exposed to the vanities of the world, that I don’t care about the Sacraments. I attend Sunday Mass, but do not listen… I do not even go to Confession. A turning point came into my life when I turned fifteen. I read about the story of Miraculous Medal. Then I felt something was missing in my life. I felt I need to do something. I found St. Vincent de Paul’s name in the story so I researched books about him. I thought to myself. I want to be like him. I didn’t know that time what is religious life, or vocation, or what.Through the internet I learned that there were many religious orders. I realized missionary life is not for me. I longed for a deeper life of prayer. I then started reading faith-based books from the Daughters of St. Paul who are very kind to us and they even befriended us. So, through this I had a deeper sense of community life.
I kept what I feel to myself because I know they’ll laugh at me when they learn I am discerning vocation. Before I turned 16, I met my spiritual director. We rarely talk since he always travel to give talks and retreats. I only met him twice since the day I saw him,but I email him or send him text messages. He told me to enjoy my high school life. So I tried to enjoy my high school life. Months later, I joined the Companion Intercessors of the Lamb. This is my first community to belong. I tried to enroll at Militia Immaculata but they never replied to me.
Since my vocation is a secret, I grab the opportunity when someone asks me about religious life. I help those persons, who were as young as me, in discerning. So I ask in the name of other people. and through this I find it frustrating when they tell me that they (those i help) should finish their studies first. Then the conversation ends.
I don’t know if \i should share this one but I find it very hard when my director won’t allow me to write to other communities, and continue to tell me to enjoy life first. I want to write to Trappist. I told my director that I’ll just tell them that I am interested, and I just want to know. He told me that I am too young. Same with other persons I talk to. They tell me that I am too young. One even told me that what I am feeling is “normal.” So I try to be resourcfeful with the internet. You know what, i know of a girl who corresponds personally with the Minim nuns. The Minim nuns corresponds with her too, treating her with great love and respect. The girl is younger than me and I envy her…
I do not know of youth-oriented activities here in my parish. I know of one but I seem not interested for some reasons. I just hate it when people come together just to make others cry because of what they are feeling.
I am already seventeen. I am going to a state university this June. Since it is a public college, I expect that no religious activities are held for the sake of the activists. I am going to take BS Industrial and Organizational Psychology for obvious reason: vocation.