What would you say?


I was stunned by something a member of my parish said to me yesterday… I guess I thought the folks around here were better catechised than this:

The short of it… this woman is 60 something and she is a EMHC at my parish and she thinks that the priest is too “traditional” and she wants the parish to be more progressive. Her biggest gripe was that a murderer can get absolution and divorces require annulments which is a harder process… I was stunned and confronted her that marriage is sacramental and the priest has no power to change any doctrine about annulments. The thing that really struck me was that she sounded so bitter about the whole thing… it was really sad.


I think I might add her to my prayers. She sounds unhappy, and her attitudes could unsettle others. I ask that the Holy Spirit will guide her and give her peace. There was blessing there , that she spoke to you so that you were able to speak as you did, and to pray for her.

Bles you, Trishie.


She has been added to my prayers but I am also wondering if the pastor should know that he has EMHC’s that are that poorly catechised… no names of course… just that he has people that are handling the precious body and blood of our Lord that aren’t in communion with the church… I am so confused…


“Moving forward” is something right out of Screwtape that she is espousing. She is asking not for development, but change. But God does not change (Mal 3:6). Second, the sacramental nature of marriage seems to escape her. After all, what God has joined, no one shall separate. Christ is effected in all sacraments, including marriage.

She also seems to misapply the justice with the logic of how it is “hard” to get an annulment but “easy” to be forgiven for murder. Yet one is not a sin and one is. One will not drive you into hell, and one will.

Ultimately, you cannot override her interior thought processes. You are not stronger than her drive to conform the Church to her will. God is. I think in some circumstances when you are witness to one not in right mind, you are perhaps best served to love the person or walk by example.

That is only my advice, you are wise yourself, as is Trishie. I think you have already confronted her once, and whether or not you can see it, there may well have been seeds planted, and that’s when I tend to then step back and try to live as example.


And he would/could do what about it? I’m not disagreeing with you, this is a good suggestion…but there’s only so much you can do with an apparently bitter individual.


I was thinking that EMHC training is coming up soon and perhaps he could go over some basic things like being in communion with the church would be a good idea for someone that is an EMHC…


I don’t see where she is not in communion with the Church. She isn’t excommunicated. Her thinking is not in line with Church teaching, that is true, but what she needs is fraternal correction and education and prayer.

Most of us encounter Church teachings we have trouble with, and the reason is we don’t fully understand the teachings, and need time and catechesis and prayer. That does not put us out of communion with the Church, and some of us are slower to grasp things than others. And we don’t know the reason for her bitterness. Perhaps she has been deeply hurt in some way, by someone in the Church, and that can affect one’s attitude.

I think Trishie is right–put her in the hands of the Holy Spirit, and pray for her. He may be wanting to use you as His instrument.:slight_smile:


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