Ever since I made it my New Year’s resolution to quit masturbating for good, I keep having these dreams of masturbating to my own gender: female. They feel so real that it often feels like I’ve actually done it in real life. The difference between reality and fantasy becomes blurred, causing me to question over and over if I’ve actually done it on purpose.
What the hell is going on? I’m trying to stop here. That was one of my New Year’s resolutions. It’s almost as if my body is craving for it or as if somebody is beckoning me back to the habit. And I won’t say it’s Satan, neither. Because I don’t believe it is. I think it’s my inner desires taking root in my dreams: masturbating shamelessly to my own sex. Deep down inside, I think–no, I KNOW that I like it. But in spite of that, I’m doing all I can to ignore these desires.