What's my problem?


#1

I don’t understand. I was opened up to Catholicism and all and left Protestantism…I’ve been very close to converting…

To be quite honest, I have quite a BAD temper and I know I shouldn’t sin but sometimes the littlest things get my temper going really bad! And then later I repent and hopefully am forgiven. Everytime I lose my temper, I start getting irritated with Catholicsm for some strange reason…and then, when I’m calm down again, I feel better and when watching EWTN or going to RCIA, I start loving Catholicism again. But when my temper goes again later in life, I start getting irritated with Catholicism…then later, I love it! Am I a hypocrite or what?

WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!? Is this the darn devil trying to tempt me away or what?


#2

Are there any peripheral troubles with your conversion? For example is it causing problems for a particular relationship with someone who may be upset by the fact that you’re converting?

There is such a thing as “displaced anger.” When something beyond our control is bothering us it sometimes gets manifested as anger towards another person or maybe the Church or your job, etc. Sometimes that sort of anger gets directed at those who least deserve it.

You might want to pray and meditate on whether anything else is bothering you deep down. Just a thought.


#3

Peace be with you all,

This is the exact same thing that is happening with me!!!

I’m in RCIA as well. What is the deal?

Peace.


#4

Nicole,

May I respectfully suggest that you might consider taking a break from this forum? Don’t get me wrong, I love this forum (that’s why I’m here), but it might add confusion to someone in your position, just at a time when some prayerful meditation would be most beneficial.


#5

[quote=Paris Blues]I don’t understand. I was opened up to Catholicism and all and left Protestantism…I’ve been very close to converting…

To be quite honest, I have quite a BAD temper and I know I shouldn’t sin but sometimes the littlest things get my temper going really bad! And then later I repent and hopefully am forgiven. Everytime I lose my temper, I start getting irritated with Catholicsm for some strange reason…and then, when I’m calm down again, I feel better and when watching EWTN or going to RCIA, I start loving Catholicism again. But when my temper goes again later in life, I start getting irritated with Catholicism…then later, I love it! Am I a hypocrite or what?

WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!? Is this the darn devil trying to tempt me away or what?
[/quote]

Hi Paris,Part of you problem is you lack self control.You need to control your anger.Stop blaming it on the devil. Maybe it would be a good idea to spend more time before the Lord and ask for help.Also it would be a good idea to read more of scripture. Personally I love the book of Ephesians. It shows you how to live the life of a christian. Read it slowly and begin to apply it to your life. :wink: God Bless


#6

[quote=Sherlock]Nicole,

May I respectfully suggest that you might consider taking a break from this forum? Don’t get me wrong, I love this forum (that’s why I’m here), but it might add confusion to someone in your position, just at a time when some prayerful meditation would be most beneficial.
[/quote]

How would I add confusion to someone? :confused:


#7

[quote=SPOKENWORD]Hi Paris,Part of you problem is you lack self control.You need to control your anger.Stop blaming it on the devil. Maybe it would be a good idea to spend more time before the Lord and ask for help.Also it would be a good idea to read more of scripture. Personally I love the book of Ephesians. It shows you how to live the life of a christian. Read it slowly and begin to apply it to your life. :wink: God Bless
[/quote]

Okay but…see, when I’m angry I will at the same time condemn myself because I’ve sinned!!! Deep down inside, I tell myself, “you’re not a Christian when you act like this!” and all this stuff. And then, I get madder at myself BECAUSE I sinned and it makes me mad that I sinned!

Though the problem is, I think there IS something wrong with me because when this happens, I don’t even want to have anything to do with religion, etc. I know, I sound crazy and all. I guess I should say it’s hard for me to come back to our Lord when I sin! AHHHHHH!!! :frowning:


#8

[quote=Paris Blues]I don’t understand. I was opened up to Catholicism and all and left Protestantism…I’ve been very close to converting…

To be quite honest, I have quite a BAD temper and I know I shouldn’t sin but sometimes the littlest things get my temper going really bad! And then later I repent and hopefully am forgiven. Everytime I lose my temper, I start getting irritated with Catholicsm for some strange reason…and then, when I’m calm down again, I feel better and when watching EWTN or going to RCIA, I start loving Catholicism again. But when my temper goes again later in life, I start getting irritated with Catholicism…then later, I love it! Am I a hypocrite or what?

WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!? Is this the darn devil trying to tempt me away or what?
[/quote]

I think I know what is happening. There are two “signs” when the devil is around: one is that we become kind of sad (slightly depressed); the other is that we get angry, or irritated.

It sounds to me like the devil is tempting you. Since you are prone to anger, he pushes you to become more angry at certain things. Then, when you are angry and irritated, he tries to direct it at Catholicism.

There is a book called “discerning the spirits”, written by St. Ignatius of Loyola. Mary appeared to him and gave him certain “rules” for the spiritual life. These rules explain the various movements that occur within our soul, and how we should respond to them. It explains the way the devil tempts us and the “signs” to be aware of. The rules are broken out into two sets: week one and week two. The following are links to the two sets of rules. I think they may help you.

God Bless

ccel.org/pager.cgi?file=i/ignatius/exercises/exercises1.0.html&up=i/ignatius/exercises/exercises.html&from=RTFToC153

ccel.org/pager.cgi?file=i/ignatius/exercises/exercises1.0.html&up=i/ignatius/exercises/exercises.html&from=RTFToC155


#9

Nicole,

Sorry, I worded that badly: I didn’t mean that YOU would be confusing anyone, I meant that the forum could be confusing to someone in your position. Again, sorry about that—I didn’t make myself clear.

I think you’re lacking interior peace, and prayerful meditation might be helpful. This forum, though wonderful in many, many ways, is definitely what I would call “noisy”.

Jean


#10

Here are some rules that probably apply to your situation.

Third Rule. The third: OF SPIRITUAL CONSOLATION. I call it consolation when some interior movement in the soul is caused, through which the soul comes to be inflamed with love of its Creator and Lord; and when it can in consequence love no created thing on the face of the earth in itself, but in the Creator of them all.

Fourth Rule. The fourth: OF SPIRITUAL DESOLATION. I call desolation all the contrary of the third[36] rule, such as darkness[37] of soul, disturbance in it, movement to things low and earthly, the unquiet of different agitations and temptations, moving to want of confidence, without hope, without love, when one finds oneself all lazy, tepid, sad, and as if separated from his Creator and Lord. Because, as consolation is contrary to desolation, in the same way the thoughts which come from consolation are contrary to the thoughts which come from desolation.

Fifth Rule. The fifth: In time of desolation never to make a change; but to be firm and constant in the resolutions and determination in which one was the day preceding such desolation, or in the determination in which he was in the preceding consolation. Because, as in consolation it is rather the good spirit who guides and counsels us, so in desolation it is the bad, with whose counsels we cannot take a course to decide rightly.

NOTE: In time of desolation, never change our previous resolutions, since in that time it is the devil who is counseling us.

Sixth Rule. The sixth: Although in desolation we ought not to change our first resolutions, it is very helpful intensely to change ourselves against the same desolation, as by insisting more on prayer, meditation, on much examination, and by giving ourselves more scope in some suitable way of doing penance.

NOTE: In time of despolation, try hard to act contrary to the temptations. Never “go with” the temptation, by consenting to the thoughts. We should be sorry for our sins, but if the devil tries to make you fall into despair over your sins, stop thinking about your sins and turn to the mercy of God. Say “yes, I am a sinner… I have offended God, but I am sorry for my sins and turn towards God infinite mercy”, or something like that. In your post you wrote:

I tell myself, “you’re not a Christian when you act like this!” and all this stuff. And then, I get madder at myself BECAUSE I sinned and it makes me mad that I sinned!"

Clearly this is the devil trying to tempt you to despair. When that happens, turn toward the mercy of God, and don’t focus on your sins: that is not the time.

Seventh Rule. The seventh: Let him who is in desolation consider how the Lord has left him in trial in his natural powers, in order to resist the different agitations and temptations of the enemy; since he can with the Divine help, which always remains to him, though he does not clearly perceive it: because the Lord has taken from him his great fervor, great love and intense grace, leaving him, however, grace enough for eternal salvation.

Eighth Rule. The eighth: Let him who is in desolation labor to be in patience, which is contrary to the vexations which come to him: and let him think that he will soon be consoled, employing against the desolation the devices, as is said in the sixth Rule.[38]

Realize that when the devil sees someone going through a conversion he attacks them very much. When you were living a bad life, he probably left you alone; now that he sees you turning towards God, he begins to attack you.

When someone goes through a conversion, they receive a lot of grace from God, and many attacks by the devil. What you have described is certainly one of the attacks.


#11

[quote=Paris Blues]I don’t understand. I was opened up to Catholicism and all and left Protestantism…I’ve been very close to converting…

To be quite honest, I have quite a BAD temper and I know I shouldn’t sin but sometimes the littlest things get my temper going really bad! And then later I repent and hopefully am forgiven. Everytime I lose my temper, I start getting irritated with Catholicsm for some strange reason…and then, when I’m calm down again, I feel better and when watching EWTN or going to RCIA, I start loving Catholicism again. But when my temper goes again later in life, I start getting irritated with Catholicism…then later, I love it! Am I a hypocrite or what?

WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!? Is this the darn devil trying to tempt me away or what?
[/quote]

God bless you, Paris.

As far as I’m concerned, It’s easy to see your problem.

…then later I repent and hopefully am forgiven.

You realize it’s hard to be a Catholic and was much easier to be a Protestant. As a Catholic, you will have to be responsible for your actions and ask forgiveness from God but through a priest “in persona Christi”. While as a Protestant you really didn’t have to worry about it. I would venture that you already understand the importance of the Sacrament of Reconciliation and get irritiated that you feel from your Protestant upbringing that you shouldn’t have to do that. But when you get back to learning and hearing about the Catholic Church you again start to realize the beauty and truth of the Catholic Church and it’s teachings and because you realize it really is Christ’s Church.

Paris, Keep coming on and read and learn and love the Church as she loves you. It’s tough to be Catholic. And remember that just being Catholic does NOT guaranteee your salvation. That is up to you. It just makes it much easier to go down that narrow road and to get through that narrow gate.

Know you’re in all our prayers in your journey. And yes, ask God to help you learn to control your temper if that is one of your more problematic areas. He will, through prayer, His grace and your constant efforts.

Whit, SFO


#12

[quote=Paris Blues]Okay but…see, when I’m angry I will at the same time condemn myself because I’ve sinned!!! Deep down inside, I tell myself, “you’re not a Christian when you act like this!” and all this stuff. And then, I get madder at myself BECAUSE I sinned and it makes me mad that I sinned!

Though the problem is, I think there IS something wrong with me because when this happens, I don’t even want to have anything to do with religion, etc. I know, I sound crazy and all. I guess I should say it’s hard for me to come back to our Lord when I sin! AHHHHHH!!! :frowning:
[/quote]

Hi Paris,Okay,Life and death are in the power of the tongue. What you need to do is speak words of life. Stop condemming yourself.There is no condemmnation for those who are in Jesus Christ.You sin,you repent and you move on never looking back. Isnt that goal of a christian,to die to sin and crucify our flesh on a dayly bases.Our Lord is always waiting with open arms when we turn from sin and repent.Our God is a loving and a forgiving God. :thumbsup: God Bless


#13

Hello Paris B.

Anger is an emotion that is a “hangover” from childhood. Anger is valuable if you are in an emergency situation, it protects you. But as you have described your own anger, it seems you get angry at people or things you should not have anger toward. Is that right?

Now I am a white-haired old man, but up until about age forty I had a quick temper. What ticked me off? Incompetance, lying, someone not putting forth a good effort, cheating, stealing and cursing. There was nothing but aging that I know of that cooled me off. So you will probably stay angry for a while (years). So…whatcha’ gonna’ do?

What can you do? #1, Your experience should tell you that your anger IS NOT HELPING YOU!
#2. Take ten, TAKE TEN, Take a time out when you feel it coming on! We all have a different threshold of anger. We handle the “take ten” differently. I stop, walk away and do something else for a few minutes.
#3. I tried St. Ignatius Principles, bought the book, traveled 600 miles to see a Jesuit to help me with St. Ignatius’ Excercises…it did no good what so ever. Your amger is a stupid habit.

This will take PRACTICE. You have to be able to detect when you first feeling anger coming on. Then take ten!

As a young guy I played football, ran track and I boxed. A certain amount of anger helped there. Controlled anger is good! Uncontrolled anger is bad. Grow up, get under control.

I do say prayers asking St .Ignatius to pray for me. I now get mad about once every three years. He knows.


#14

[quote=Paris Blues]Okay but…see, when I’m angry I will at the same time condemn myself because I’ve sinned!!! Deep down inside, I tell myself, “you’re not a Christian when you act like this!” and all this stuff. And then, I get madder at myself BECAUSE I sinned and it makes me mad that I sinned!

Though the problem is, I think there IS something wrong with me because when this happens, I don’t even want to have anything to do with religion, etc. I know, I sound crazy and all. I guess I should say it’s hard for me to come back to our Lord when I sin! AHHHHHH!!! :frowning:
[/quote]

There is nothing wrong with you! You will continue to sin after you become Catholic you know. You may be having some difficulty with scrupulosity. Maybe burnout. I would discuss it with my priest/spiritual director, if I were you, and follow their advice.


#15

I’ve struggles with my hot temper for as long as I can remember.
Part of it could just be naturally part of your personality - or you picked it up early on from your family? (Do they struggle with this too?)
OR - you are tired and need more sleep.
OR - you have too much on your plate - are stressed out and need to restructure your responsibilities.
OR - you may need to speak with a priest? spiritual advisor? mental health counselor who could turn you in the right direction?
Maybe - a combination of some or all of the above?

Whatever it is - I found the rosary is especially soothing to my fiery temperament. :wink:


#16

Perhaps you need to get out more? Take in a movie, read a book?


#17

[quote=Paris Blues]I don’t understand. I was opened up to Catholicism and all and left Protestantism…I’ve been very close to converting…

To be quite honest, I have quite a BAD temper and I know I shouldn’t sin but sometimes the littlest things get my temper going really bad! And then later I repent and hopefully am forgiven. Everytime I lose my temper, I start getting irritated with Catholicsm for some strange reason…and then, when I’m calm down again, I feel better and when watching EWTN or going to RCIA, I start loving Catholicism again. But when my temper goes again later in life, I start getting irritated with Catholicism…then later, I love it! Am I a hypocrite or what?

WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!? Is this the darn devil trying to tempt me away or what?
[/quote]

I don’t think anything is wrong w/ you, Paris. You are having temptations…it happens when you are doing the right thing.:thumbsup: The “father of lies” would have you believe that… Maybe your temper is your weakness…soooo, guess what??? That’s where he gonna tempt you…:twocents:


#18

Nicole,
As a fellow Catholic-In-Training, I can appreciate that learning all the rules and regulations of the faith can cause confusion, and therefore, sometimes when we don’t understand things, we lash out. If you find yourself starting to ‘simmer’, you need to take a break and do something which will calm you.
Being Catholic is not easy; perhaps this is where some of your anger comes in?? You are in the process of leaving behind a relatively ‘easy’ faith, and are now faced with 2000 years of history; which you have to accept to be a true member. Perhaps you are going through a ‘why can’t we just accept God and be done with it?’ phase, and don’t like the reality that following the one True Church, founded by Jesus, is not meant to be easy. Perhaps learn to meditate in times of difificulty and then take up your cross once more, and follow the Lord.
Ask yourself this question-: Now you have tasted the truth of the Catholic Church, can anything less, satisfy you? I know personally that there is no way I could turn back; therefore, the only way is forward…Home to Rome we go!
I pray the Lord grants you the strength you need to over-come this hurdle.

Pax Vobiscum


#19

[quote=Paris Blues]Okay but…see, when I’m angry I will at the same time condemn myself because I’ve sinned!!! Deep down inside, I tell myself, “you’re not a Christian when you act like this!” and all this stuff. And then, I get madder at myself BECAUSE I sinned and it makes me mad that I sinned!

Though the problem is, I think there IS something wrong with me because when this happens, I don’t even want to have anything to do with religion, etc. I know, I sound crazy and all. I guess I should say it’s hard for me to come back to our Lord when I sin! AHHHHHH!!! :frowning:
[/quote]

Something else to consider - this is one reason why God gave us the Sacrament of Penance. Now, read carefully, I’m not agreeing with you that you are a sinner and you need to repent - in fact, we’re ALL in that boat! No, my point is that this Sacrament is also a wonderful thing to have when you need to vent, or talk to someone about what is bothering you.

I often need to be reminded that just because I sin, that doesn’t mean all is lost. We just keep sinning, catching ourselves, dusting ourselves off and keep going. Don’t let the devil win.

Even though you are not Catholic yet, I know that a priest would be happy to talk with you about this. I can tell you from experience that it WILL help! Hang in there. You’re perfectly normal!!


#20

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.