So I am a man with 20 old.
In all my life even when I didn't idea what it is( when I was a kid) I feel attracted for marriage
I ever wanted have children and mainly I ever wanted marry
I dream with it
But been a while I have been received signals for be a monk ( including external signals )
And that is making me very distressed.
It's as if God was calling me and I refusing it and like I'm do something like a sin for this
I have OCD so ever I'm attracted for the more difficult
But Have a external signals that I don't could control with my scrupulous mind I think
The advices that I received were let it happen.