What's the Catholic thing to do when moving out on an angry father?


#1

My mother and I have been torn on this for a while. They are very close to divorce because, in essence, my dad is a jerk. But my mom is so sweet that it hasn't gotten there, and I don't think it's God's will either.

I am moving out for college next fall, to a place far away that we have family at, so my mom and sister and dog will visit all the time anyway, even if I wasn't there. My dad refuses to go. He isn't physically violent, but verbally violent hurts more. He doesn't leave his little computer room/tv room except to yell at us or go on long scuba diving trips where he refuses to tell us where he is (this is what's got him into all this sin.)

Every Sunday he skips Mass, with the dumbest excuses.

Any input? Because once I go to college I don't want to be around him. It's not that I don't love him, I love him so much, and that's the reason it pains me so much to see how demonic he has become. I feel like it's better for me to keep my distance and continue praying like crazy, than to be near him and have everything end in tears. Any suggestions?

God bless :)


#2

Ugh, I am so sorry to hear that. :( Get ye some counseling as soon as you get to college, if not sooner. No other advice, just prayers. :(


#3

[quote="dakotagirl, post:2, topic:184289"]
Ugh, I am so sorry to hear that. :( Get ye some counseling as soon as you get to college, if not sooner. No other advice, just prayers. :(

[/quote]

Thanks!

Warning: I am Polish and we tend to be suspicious of doctors :D


#4

Can't suggest much but pray. I'll be praying for you and your family.

[quote="ljubim, post:3, topic:184289"]
Thanks!

Warning: I am Polish and we tend to be suspicious of doctors :D

[/quote]

I'm Polish too, and also very suspicious of doctors, but I figure, a good Catholic councilor can't really do any damage and might really help, if only to have someone to rant at :hypno:


#5

Yes, counselors aren't usually doctors. Also, I notice that on threads that inquire about respect to one's parents, responses are usually lacking. So I will oblige. :D Angry ranting to a trusted friend is not "disrespect". Verbal abuse is abuse. And no matter how terribly un-chic it is to say among conservative Catholics, you should never put up with it from a parent. When he starts, leave the room, leave the house, take your cell phone and call a friend, visit a neighbor, stay away till you are sane again. Gotta go, but I wish you the best. :(


#6

Pray for him. I believe this is the Catholic thing to do. In your prayers, ask God to bless him. Tell God how much you love your father and ask Him to heal him of whatever is making him isolate himself from his family. Pray for him to turn back to God and to return to Mass. Ask for protection from evil influences with the help of St. Michael Archangel. Pray for his guardian angel to be strengthened for this battle. Don't stop praying, even if you don't think it is doing any good.

ps - although this is off-topic, how do you pronounce 'lju'? We've been having prayers for one of our parishioners who is sick whose name is Ljubica. I hate mispronouncing people's names.


#7

I like to go to what the Catechism says which in a nutshell says you have to respect them, you have to love them, but you do not have to obey them if you do not live under their roof.


#8

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