Whats the difference between pride (the bad kind) and self-confidence?


I wrestle with this A TON.


I suggest that you kill the “self,” as is implied in the bible, and turn only to God for your confidence. What the bible calls the old “self” is the epitome of evil, and must be “crucified” if you’re going to experience the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Never place trust in yourself. The common saying that “there is nothing like experience” to me reflects the experiences of the Holy Spirit which will only come about from a clean “temple” (death of the self).


Self-Esteem Without Selfishness: Increasing Our Capacity for Love



Ordered self-confidence and self love is good.

Pride - that is a disordered self love and confidence is not good.

We are to have confidence that is based above all in Christ. In the Holy Spirit.

Christians who are baptized and and living in grace - are “in Christ” and “temples of the Holy Spirit”. They are “sons in the Son”.

Knowing all that we have that is good is a gift from God and making use of that in the love of God and others.


I don’t have an answer for you but I believe this from Thomas Merton " We have what we seek, it is there all the time, and if we give it time, it will make itself known to us." I would suggest you let go of wrestling, meditate on your question maybe recalling different situations from your past where you were filled with pride, and with patience you just may get what you “seek”.


My opinion:
Self confidence is knowing we are all equal in the eyes of God and that He has given us all different gifts.

Pride is thinking that we are better then others somehow due to our own actions.


In my opinion -
Pride = being unable to own up or take responsibility or admit mistakes therefore leaving the person in a state where they cannot learn.

Confidence = believing in yourself even though you know making mistakes is o.k. and that you don’t have to be perfect.


Pride is arrogance and thinking you are superior because of a trait.


I tackled this once and also vanity. Got all kinds of bad vibs and insults from CAF members, so I won’t really post of it again. The only comment I will make is that there is a proper place and need for both pride and vanity and you will find it as you study both the Bible and Apoligetics. Please don’t post replies that are not free of hassel comments. Peace


The difference is self-reflection.

The good type of pride (self-confidence) is gained by observing what you have already accomplished, and does not prohibit you from honestly admitting flaws.

The bad type of pride (narcissism) is gained by shutting out all criticism, assuming you have reached an apex, or otherwise acting as if you are inherently superior.


One way of recognising Pride, rather than self confidence, is to use the Litany of Humility. It not only shows the paths that pride can lead us on but asks for deliverance from them. A beautiful prayer.



Thats perfect. Thanks!!


Due to weakness I was subject to put-downs from peers and some authorities.

Spending time doing things where I have flair, has enabled me to become more conscious of my gifts.

When some people ask me how I am one of my gambits is, “proud of my achievements and grateful for the opportunities.”

Now I am not saying I am better (at least not admitting it :wink: ), only different. Wholesome pride is very near to gratefulness. It is connected with grace and poise. It is what puts a spring in our step.

As we get more confident in these gifts that God has given us, we can get further into the excellent things the other posters have already put above.

Confidence in God’s gifts e.g with words, music, handling animals or people, crafts, visual work, you name it = grateful for God’s gifts.

One hazard has been exam times when we were frowned on for exercising our faculties in a balanced way. Or an unwritten rule that we “don’t go in for that in our family” or simply mean, grumpy teachers or doctors. Or even priests that cloak their nagging with false “good craic”. :wink:


Pride (the bad kind) - I’m going to do whatever I want, even if it hurts others. Example: CEO wants a third vacation home funded by a big bonus check, orders the layoffs of 5,000 people. How I see myself (important or not) doesn’t matter. I put myself first, foremost and always. I care nothing about others.

self-esteem: I understand my true value as a child of God. My daddy’s a King, my momma’s a Queen. I am made in the image and likeness of God, and have his dignity.

Pride is about selfishness (and narcissism) - self-esteem, properly understood, is a good thing. But if it leads to arrogance it can easily lead to pride.


The bad kind of pride: Whatever good I accomplish is due to my efforts alone and not acknowledging the source of all good, God, and I tend to look down on those less fortunate because of this false estimation of self. Bad pride is self-centered.

The good kind of pride: It is not to deny the good things I know or do, or have, but to be thankful to God for them And to assist those who are less fortunate with my blessings To deny these blessings is false humility

Self confidence: Is to know that I am human, and very capable of making mistakes, but I press on with trust in God, and with all He gave me. And if I make mistakes, taking it in stride, and keep trying, not thinking God has failed me but that He has other plans for me. I have hope. This hope in God, gives me self-confidence.

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