whats wrong with me??


#1

Moderators, if this thread is in the wrong place, move it.

Dear Forum.

I feel imperfect/tarnished.

Reason being is that I feel called to Holy Priesthood. However here are my problems.

  1. I dont feel attracted towards dating or towards Marriage. I love girls just as much as the next guy, and I get infatuated towards them. However, I dont feel any consolation or any attraction towards dating or Marriage.

  2. Im not gay, 1. Its a sin, 2. Its disgusting. Although, when i say stuff like I said above^^^, I feel like im gay. I love the idea of Celibacy, and I feel like its a very reasonable demand, although, if i told people, I would feel Gay. Although im not.

  3. I dont want a career, I dont want a 9-5 job, but all the same, i wouldnt mind monastic kind of work, divided by prayer, for e.g farming, mechanics, cleaning etc.

I feel weird because of this, and I will tell the vocations director how I feel, but all the same, what is your opinon on this?

And please no telling me to quit communicating my highs and lows to the internet. I am asking for opinions, not smirk comments. :smiley:

So am I weird if i feel this way?


#2
  1. I dont feel attracted towards dating or towards Marriage. I love girls just as much as the next guy, and I get infatuated towards them. However, I dont feel any consolation or any attraction towards dating or Marriage.

As for this, I was the same way (reverse the genders) until I was in my early 20's. I doubt it's that abnormal.


#3

Like I want to celebrate MASS, Help the poor, Preach the Gospel, etc., but i dont know,

I cant help but feeling second class, even gay, likes whats wrong with me???


#4

[quote="mymamamary, post:1, topic:291843"]
Moderators, if this thread is in the wrong place, move it.

Dear Forum.

I feel imperfect/tarnished.

Reason being is that I feel called to Holy Priesthood. However here are my problems.

  1. I dont feel attracted towards dating or towards Marriage. I love girls just as much as the next guy, and I get infatuated towards them. However, I dont feel any consolation or any attraction towards dating or Marriage.

  2. Im not gay, 1. Its a sin, 2. Its disgusting. Although, when i say stuff like I said above^^^, I feel like im gay. I love the idea of Celibacy, and I feel like its a very reasonable demand, although, if i told people, I would feel Gay. Although im not.

  3. I dont want a career, I dont want a 9-5 job, but all the same, i wouldnt mind monastic kind of work, divided by prayer, for e.g farming, mechanics, cleaning etc.

I feel weird because of this, and I will tell the vocations director how I feel, but all the same, what is your opinon on this?

And please no telling me to quit communicating my highs and lows to the internet. I am asking for opinions, not smirk comments. :D

So am I weird if i feel this way?

[/quote]

Hi mymamamary! first off I can tell you that you are not gay based on this information and that I don't think it is abnormal to be attracted to the idea of celibacy, I feel it too. And even if that or any of the other things were abnormal (I'm not going to get into a discussion of what "normal" is), I do not see how it is a bad thing.


#5

Have you discussed these issues with your spiritual director? What guidance has he given you so far?


#6

I havent discussed with a SPD yet, My old one left, and I wont be able to sit down with my new one till september,


#7

[quote="mymamamary, post:3, topic:291843"]
Like I want to celebrate MASS, Help the poor, Preach the Gospel, etc., but i dont know,

I cant help but feeling second class, even gay, likes whats wrong with me?????

[/quote]

Why are you suddenly connecting your spiritual life with being gay? This is confusing to me. You seem so happy and confident when you speak about your calling to priesthood. Yet all of a sudden here you are, filled with doubt and talking about being gay!

I think you need to talk to your new spiritual director before September.


#8

Buddy - It's called the teenage wasteland.

It's normal, and uncomfortable as all get out. It's part of the human condition.

You aren't going to be the finished article at aged 18, or even 50.

Life isn't a sprint - it's a marathon. You have to gut it out sometimes.


#9

Pray to God to help you know your vocation.

Could be the priesthood, a hermit, or a Monk.

Stop thinking that you feel gay! No, no.

The celibacy is a gift superior than the gift of matrimony:

[BIBLEDRB]1 Corinthians 7:38[/BIBLEDRB]

because the renunciation, for the love of God, is greater.

Those who receive the call to celibacy must know that it's a wonderful vocation, but not everyone understands it but those who have been given it (because the vocation is a gift from God). Those who receive this gift must be willing to face the incomprehension.
Those who God calls to celibacy, He gives them the enough graces so they can be faithful to the call. Celibacy is also a gift. The desire of corresponding to the gift of celibacy is part of the grace God gives. Celibacy must be accompanied by full trust in God. Living celibacy requires a very strong love, a huge capacity of donation, and therefore, claims a mature personality. (Celibacy is not compatible with immaturity).

Please pray to God to help you discern your vocation! :)


#10

:signofcross: May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ,
and the love of God,
and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit
be with you all,
now and evermore.
Amen. :signofcross:


#11

thats just it, I am in love with the Idea of Celibacy, its so beatiful, so wholesome, (Miarriage is too, but not for me), the idea that My love isnt limited to a set of people, but to a Parish, and to all I encounter. the gift of Celibacy that I would choose is not for one man (myself) but for all. For you, for that person and for the people down the street. The fact that I could love everybody, judged not by their appreance but by the eternalo value of their souls is an aweomse gift. But, at the same time, even my brother asked something like "well dont you like girls?". He didnt ask it in that way exactly, I think, but he did ask it in a similar way. Ouch. What am I supposed to say without sounding too Heavenly minded? or kids at school? I want to be Celibate, would be proud of it, but at the same time, How can I be convincing enough that im not gay?


#12

Also, my parents are VERY supportive of my “calling”. At the same time, I still would feel a bit awkward discussing this with them, how do I do this? They know i want to be a Priest and Religous Monk/Friar/Brother adn are VERY supportive and proud, but all the same…???


#13

[quote="mymamamary, post:11, topic:291843"]
How can I be convincing enough that im not gay?

[/quote]

Do you find girls to be sexually attractive? If so, you aren't gay. Simple as that.

Also, my understanding is that Catholicism teaches that the correct term is "same-sex attraction". One is not "gay" and there aren't "gay acts". There is only same-sex attraction and there are sexual sins.

Your understanding of sexuality seems to be clouded by popular culture, which teaches that "you must be gay" if you aren't already sleeping with several girls by the time you're 18. This mindset is, of course, a monstrous lie.


#14

[quote="mymamamary, post:12, topic:291843"]
Also, my parents are VERY supportive of my "calling". At the same time, I still would feel a bit awkward discussing this with them, how do I do this? They know i want to be a Priest and Religous Monk/Friar/Brother adn are VERY supportive and proud, but all the same.....???

[/quote]

You should watch this video from BCCTV. It's about two young Dominican Brothers from Ottawa who are spending time my archdiocese as part of their seminary training. In the video they talk about their order, what led them to consecrated life, and what their faith means to them. Maybe it will give you some inspiration?

gloria.tv/?media=311172


#15

SSA is a term I never heard until I came to this forum.
I have very strong, negative opinions about the term, but that is for another thread.

The Chruch uses the term "homosexual". You can see here, what the Catechism has to say on the topic, and OP, I strongly recommend that you pray with that.

As someone else said welcome to the "teen-age wasteland".

This is what the journey is all about, recognizing who I am, a beloved child of God, and growing into that relationship through prayer and submission to Him.

That said OP, I understand you desire to vent, and ask any question that pops into your head, however, I am not sure if you need more opinions clouding your already over stimulated brain. Did your former SD know about the things you post here? Were you discussing these things with him?

And I also agree that you need a new SD sooner rather than later.

[quote="SgtSchultz, post:13, topic:291843"]
Do you find girls to be sexually attractive? If so, you aren't gay. Simple as that.

Also, my understanding is that Catholicism teaches that the correct term is "same-sex attraction". One is not "gay" and there aren't "gay acts". There is only same-sex attraction and there are sexual sins.

Your understanding of sexuality seems to be clouded by popular culture, which teaches that "you must be gay" if you aren't already sleeping with several girls by the time you're 18. This mindset is, of course, a monstrous lie.

[/quote]


#16

[quote="Oneofthewomen, post:15, topic:291843"]
SSA is a term I never heard until I came to this forum.
I have very strong, negative opinions about the term, but that is for another thread.

The Chruch uses the term "homosexual". You can see here, what the Catechism has to say on the topic, and OP, I strongly recommend that you pray with that.

[/quote]

I stand corrected. I must have heard the term on the main CA site and assumed it was an official term.


#17

[quote="SgtSchultz, post:16, topic:291843"]
I stand corrected. I must have heard the term on the main CA site and assumed it was an official term.

[/quote]

On this forum, people use "same sex attraction" to denote the draw toward someone of one's own gender as a romantic interest. Separate from the ACT of homosexual sex, which is termed "homosexuality." Because we discuss chastity with people who have a same sex attraction, we want to separate out the sin from the sinner, if you see what I mean. You can talk about having same sex attraction but not living a homosexual lifestyle. If we just termed everything "homosexuality," then we'd be lumping everyone together, the ones who haven't had homosexual sexual contact, with the practicing homosexuals.


#18

Fair enough.

CCC 2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex.

So basically, SSA means the desires, feelings, etc., while “homosexuality” refers to the practises?

Am I correct, though, in my claim that the Church’s position is that one is not a homosexual just because they may have sexual attractions towards the same sex, provided they do not act on them?


#19

How long ago did you pull away from worldly things? Are you still into worldly things? Worldly influences? (an over abundance of worldly reminders from Friends, television watching, magazines etc.) I'm assuming the movement towards religious life is recent, like in the last 5 years?

You don't give your age here. I am assuming from what other posters have said that you are in your early 20's. If so, what you have said here sounds typical for your age.

Breaking away from the world for the first time is scary. I am assuming that you have given much prayer, thought and consideration to the truths of the faith, yes? Keep in mind, these trails are just that. Trials. No, you aren't gay, but many in society would/might probably deem you as being such given that most men (young ones especially) are deemed 'strange' by each other if they don't go girl chasing. Sorry to say, but you will have to learn how to deal with people who will assume wrong things about you.

Keep in mind too, that even lay catholic men have to pull away from this worldly way of thinking as well.  Its a part of growing into a man... something you at this age are grappling with, yes?   This is also a part of self control-  you have to ditch what the world might think of you.   I am assuming you are fearing that a bit now which is why you posted.  There are probably many good men out there who have chosen to 'wait' until marriage that also get this sort of pressure.. so don't feel too alone.

Find some like minded friends who will support you and understand the beauty of celibacy.

You will be convincing when you will show forth the light of God. Pure. It shines through the eyes, and you will be able to then look any accuser straight in the eye. So work on that- being pure, being single minded for God. This may be a part of the reason why you feel imperfect/tarnished as you say? You may be pushing too fast in spiritual growth, trying to leap ahead.

If you don't find any consolation or attraction to marriage I don't think that is abnormal for your age either.   I think you are trying to rush things or see into the future.    I didn't find marriage itself (REAL marriage, not the fairy tale stuff) an attractive proposal until I was about 29- even though as a girl I always wanted to get married.  (I STILL think its a daunting endeavor, though)    I think part of your problem could be the culture right now and what it deems as normal.   (Pssst... don't listen to what you see on your tv, its not reality.)    You are trying to pull away and its hard to leave that fold.  In due time with God's grace, you will be able.   

Relax.   Don't go so fast.. all in God's time!   

 God Bless!

#20

[quote="mymamamary, post:1, topic:291843"]

And please no telling me to quit communicating my highs and lows to the internet. I am asking for opinions, not smirk comments. :D

[/quote]

:tsktsk: Get to work!

Did you read anything yet?


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