When a couple is really in love it’s very hard for them to avoid having a sexual relation. Yes I know it’s sinful to have sex before marriage but I feel unable to condemn it in strong terms because it’s something that seems so… natural. Let’s say it’s happening within your family or with somebody you know… and this person was close to you… what would you say? What are the consequences for a couple in love when they have sex before they are legally married? Another question: how do you think most catholics would behave if they were in this situation?
By the same reasoning, it’s natural to eat when hungry. So if I’m in a grocery store it’s ok for me to just walk in and take food and eat it right there because well it’s so natural.
Love and sex aren’t necessarily the same thing. Love is being there for someone even in difficult times. Love means a commitment.
I know it’s a sin if you’re not married but this example you gave isn’t good enough. Because society sees theft as a wrong thing and there is punishment for someone who would do such thing you mentioned. But since society doesn’t condemn sex before marriage anymore, most people don’t see nothing wrong with if it. And if there are two people in a relationship (and specially if they are in love with each other) there is a commitment - not marriage, but still a commitment. I’m not saying this is good, I’m just saying this is what happens in society today. What would you say to a person in this situation besides “What you are doing is wrong because the bible condemns it?”
Sex means having a more commited relationship than two people who aren’t married to each other. These two people may feel like thay have that commitment, but I’ve seen too many relationships die because of sex outside of marriage. Having sex without being married just about says, “Hey, baby! Let’s forget the formalities and just have sex. If we decide we aren’t right for each other, we’ll just walk away and no one will be the wiser.” Sex and love aren’t the same things, as has already been said. Sex outside of marriage is saying that you don’t care enough about the other person to have a serious relationship with them. If you did love that other person, then you would want to do right by them. And that would include marriage, if it were the right kind of relationship.
Ok, but then let’s say the person says: “Yes, me and my boyfriend have a serious relationship! We are not married yet but we are in a serious relationship and we love each other and we just can’t help having our moments of intimacy.” I’d like to know why this is wrong besides the bible says it’s wrong. You said you saw relationships dying because of sex outside of marriage and maybe this could be a good reason, perhaps you could elaborate this idea.
When 2 people are really in love with each other…they avoid that which will bring* spiritual death* to the one they love.
When 2 people are really in love with each other…they are strive always to be chaste and modest -for they love each other.
When 2 people are really in love with each other…they know that engaging in sexual acts is harmful -and a lie – and is in reality using the other.
When 2 people are really in love with each other…they do not wish to act contrary to the objective truth of their relationship -they do not yet belong to one another in marriage.
When 2 people are really in love with each other…the love each other in virtue and seeking the true good of the other.
When 2 people are really in love with each other…they want the other to live in Christ -in true life.
People say they are “in a serious relationship” meaning they are mature enough to enter deeply into a relationship that is more than an infatuation. Controlling impulses (or at least doing one’s best to) is a sign of maturity. Treating a partner as a sex outlet is not. Giving into impulses is not. Yes, you can point to the Bible and the Catechism but those only validate the value of sex within marriage. You can easily see that keeping sex between spouses is better than giving into impulses without using religion. You just have to think with your brain and not your hormones.
Yes if both were devout catholics I agree with you… But if it was not the case?
I’m not here to provocate anyone. I’m just in doubt and I’d like to see why keeping sex to only when you are married is better, and I’m looking for logical arguments. That’s all, thank you.
In the state of California in the USA it is legal to have an abortion. If society is to dictate moral behavior and we are not to look at God’s will then you would agree that it is ok to kill unborn babies. You see, your logic doesn’t hold water when it comes to moral issues. Morality can only be morality because there is a God. If God does not exist then there is no objective moral standard by which we can measure anything. So, to say that what God wills isn’t necessary then you are moving into relativism whereby truth only exists in the mind of the one who proclaims it. In that case your idea could never be true to anyone who simply refuses to believe it.
When God enters the picture, as He should since He created you and me, then there is an objective moral standard by which we can use to determine what is morally right or wrong. This removes all subjective thoughts like if it feels good do it. This enables us to realize that there is a profound depth to the love of God and that He always wills what is best for us. So, yes, you can continue to say that if two people are in love they can have sex and ignore the will of the God who gave us the gift of our sexuality. This is your free will and you can reject God’s teaching on the matter if you so choose. But then remember that when you break down these walls you can never again hold to other moral truths such as murder, abortion, stealing, excessive drug and alcohol usage, pornography, prostitution and so on. When you break down the conditions God has put forth and say that if it feels good do it then you are all alone. You have no more standards and anything goes.
I hope this helps a little. If two people REALLY love each other they can wait until they are in a committed marital relationship. How do I know? Because I did. My wife and I will be married 33 years this July and we do not regret a thing. God is very good and He very well knows what He is talking about. God bless you.
In the best case scenario for marriage, our Lord should be first in the eyes of the couple.
There is a very clear reason why abortion is wrong - it’s a life that is being taken for selfish reasons. But in the case of sex before marriage, and specially in the example I used, I find it much harder to see that clear reason of why it’s wrong besides it says in the bible that it’s wrong. Now imagine that this couple I mentioned is two young people, they don’t make harm to anybody, they respect the name of God and Jesus but they fail to see why it’s wrong for them to have sex… and if they could see this reason, they’d stop doing it! Remember that the bible preaches a lot against sexual immorality but it’s vague, they could just say “well what me and my girlfriend do is not immoral and we’re not immoral people”. Then what would you say to them to convince them to stop having sex? Ps: congratulations for your marriage and God bless you too.
Yes it’s good when the Lord is the first in the eyes of the couple, but imagine two young people, they say being happy isn’t a crime and so on…
They are rationalizing.
Sometimes it’s very hard to tell if you are rationalizing or not.
I’m younger. I know that eating is connected to nutrition. Along a similar line, I would say that contrary to popular opinion, sex is connected to babies. That’s nothing to take lightly. (I volunteer at a crisis-pregnancy center, and young people come in all the time because of this, despite having used contraception.) Sex outside of marriage puts babies at risk. So ultimately, sex actually is about something greater than just the two people involved. It’s about the future, too.
Sex also affects men and women differently.
I would also investigate the increase in varieties of STDs over the past few decades. Maybe nature is trying to tell us something?
For the sake of comedic relief, allow me to quote Joe Friday (Dan Ackroyd) from the movie “Dragnet”:
Now let me tell you something, Streebeck. There are two things that clearly differentiate the human species from animals. One, we use cutlery. Two, we’re capable of controlling our sexual urges. Now, you might be an exception, but don’t drag me down into your private Hell.
OK. Back to your regularly scheduled thread. :hey_bud:
P.S. I’ve been waiting years to use that quote.
Thank you for the congrats.
Unfortunately you didn’t read a word I wrote and I am sorry for that. You dismissed everything I said and resorted back to your “What’s wrong with it if I think it is ok” attitude. Oh well, there is only so much one can do.
Thank you, you were the first one to give a good argument as to why sex before marriage is a bad thing.
Really? So objective moral standards was not good enough. Oh brother…ok