Ok, some of you may remember a while back I posted about an old school friend a reconnected with. She had had an abortion in college and ended coming to Mass and confession with me-anyway…
She is in a very bad place financially. Her house is being foreclosed on, she is unemployed even though she has a lot of college education, and on state assistance. At first I felt really sorry for her. But the more she talks about things I realize this is a mess of her own making.
She’s gone on numerous interviews for a job in her field and has actually turned job offers for a variety of reasons. She continues to take college class to get more student loans that she lives off of and over $100,000 in debt on her loans. Now she is angry because they won’t give her anymore loans and she took two incompletes in her last classes.
She was injured at a job several years ago and her first settlement check she blew through mostly on new furniture even though she is unemployed. She was on short term disabilty for a while but that’s long gone now. When we first reconnected she had three dogs now six months later she has five. Not to mention two of the first three have major health problems and require medication.
She is generous to people when she can’t afford it. She is out of food stamps for the month because she “was nice and bought a friend some food”. She’s always buying stuff to give to other people but she can’t afford to pay her own bills. She does go out of her way to help people which is a good thing but she also spends money she doesn’t have.
She spent money (and was given some by her mother) to go out of state to a job fair and returned depressed because she didn’t get one. Well she could have if she had applied at other counties but she didn’t want a job in those counties she says.
I don’t even try to talking to her about these things because I’ve listened to long vents about certain family members and friends “don’t understand” and “think she’s making excuses and living off the system”.
Right now she is completely broke and doesn’t even have food stamps. She is waiting on her last settlement check and I’m afraid she’s going to blow through that too. She’s supposed to use it to move out of state “because the Michigan economy is bad and that’s why she can’t get a job”. I don’t know where she thinks she’s going to live with all her animals -she has to get an apartment, she can’t get a house because her credit is ruined. Besides the foreclosure she’s already been through bankruptsy once.
She has a sweet personality. I just don’t understand how a person can live this way. I mean we’re in our mid thirties -we’re not kids. I would getting a job anyway even at Burger King if I had to. I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night not having any source of income and I certainly would be scared to spend a dime of any money I had unless it was absolutely necessary.
How does a person end up this way?