[quote="Still_Hoping, post:1, topic:235525"]
Who is in a toxic relationship but continues to be in it because divorce is out of the question; children are involved. You find yourself having less and less tolerance towards those who hurt you especially your spouse. It is one thing to have been, and sometimes still be, the recepient of your spouse's abuse, but to have your children treat you has he has done is enough.
Who feels they put up with enough but feel they must bear their cross and save the marriage?
Okay, here's the deal...I'm sure there are women out there who, on their own accord, think they need to "bear the cross" of abuse and try and save a marriage because they cannot possibly get divorced.
First of all, if there is enough abuse that one is posting about on a forum and the spouse in question is still abusing, not remorseful, and has not sought therapy, it's time to realize that the marriage is not salvageable unless the abusive spouse is ready to repent and get help. And even then, it's not always possible to save the marriage.
Next, if there are children involved, there is no way, shape, or form, one can possibly say they are "bearing a cross" because it's not just she that is involved, it's her children. You cannot be "bearing that cross" while your children are there witnessing it. What sort of example is one setting for her children?
By doing so, the woman is sending a loud and clear message to her sons that it's okay to abuse your spouse...."see, mommy gets hit, yelled at, demoralized, whatever....and that's okay because it's her cross to bear in life, so go ahead and do this when you are married". It's okay to act like Daddy does when he's "mad".
For the daughters........ the message that one is sending is: "just offer it up and take it sweetie, that's what we women must do, even unto death". Do you find that even remotely acceptable? I hope not!
The abused spouse needs to seek help as soon as possible. Get the children and get out!
I will be praying that you find the strength to seek appropriate help and salvage the future of your children, if you aren't able to accept seeking help for yourself. But, you are a child of God and you do not deserve to be abused.