When chooseing friends


#1

I know that being Catholic means I need to witness. When it comes to chooseing friends how do I know when I should be friends with them so maybe I can witness to then or when I just need to pray for them but not have them in my life?


#2

Interesting question. In order to give you my take, I’m going to have to resurrect a term that was in the old Baltimore Catechism and which I’ve been using lately (and I’m afraid someone is going to start a college drinking game based on it if use it enough), and that is the concept of “bad companion”. A “bad companion” is one of those “occasions of sin” that could cause us to stumble by getting us into trouble (example: you are with a few males on a Saturday night and they want to go to a strip club; this is an occasion of sin that will test your faith; another is someone of the opposite gender who will lead you to sexual sin).

How does this relate to your original post? You need to evaluate if a potential “friend” is a good or bad companion, and if this person has the potential to damage your faith, you need to make sure you look out for your own self first by not getting to close to the person. If you must witness, do so at arm’s length. When you are more comfortable that this person will not damage your faith, then you can witness a little closer.

The other thing you can do is to not witness alone, but with a group of “good companions”.

I hope this helps.


#3

This does not relate to one of my other posts. The reason I am asking is because I might be going to college later this year and I know that I will prob meet people who like to party and drink. So I am basicly wondering if I need to just steer clear of those people or not.


#4

My apologies, I was speaking rhetorically and using it as a “transitional” phrase to make my point.

But as far as steering clear of people who party and drink, yes, that is a prime occasion of sin for college age people, especially when you consider that people often do things under the influence that they normally would not do when sober (like a “one-night stand” with someone you just met).


#5

Wait I miss read the last part I thought you asked if it was related to another one of my posts and I was saying its not…I relized that once I reread it. My Bad:blush:


#6

Thanks for the advice


#7

Just bumping this up so people can read it.


#8

I think that sometimes the best thing to do, at least for finding close friends, is to find a group of people with simmilar values on campus. (Join a right to life group, the Catholic Newman center, volunteer, etc.) It’s not always east to find groups of people who don’t party, but by no means is it impossible.

This doesn’t mean I “shun” people, no, I have plenty of acquaintances who are pretty wild. It’s just not the best idea to put yourself in situations where you put yourself in the near occasion of sin. A good example of this would be I’ve had some friends invite me to go on vacations with them, which is really tempting because it would be a lot of fun, however I do not trust myself to be put in a position where I know there will be a lot of non-Christian behavior (to put it lightly) going on.

I have good friends who are practicing Catholics and do party, quite a bit, (and don’t see a problem w/ the illegal & dangerous behavior.) But, they know not to even ask me to go with them, as I have been very vocal about my opinions on the subject. :smiley: And they respect my beliefs. :cool:


#9

You don’t have to be friends with someone to be a witness to them. For example, if you are living in the dorm, and are kind and friendly to your “neighbors” but don’t socialize with them at parties etc., they will notice. If you seek out a group of friends who share your values, and are too busy at wholesome events to go out partying, they will notice. But if you go out friday night to a frat party with your dorm-mates, and while they get drunk, you don’t, they will probably be to drunk and self absorbed to notice. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be friends at all with the folks like this in your dorm. But keep in mind that you have to have something to witness with - maybe that’s a group of good wholesome friends to entice someone with. Or maybe you’re really involved in the campus church, and someone in your dorm wonders why you’re so darn together. See what I mean? So I would say make your first priority finding a good community for yourself. And then if you make a friend or two of the partying persuasion, it will be because they know who you are and they are attracted to that. Be the light, let it shine, and let them come to you.


#10

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