When do you share your first kiss?


#1

I suppose in secular dating, kissing on the first date isn't uncommon. I'm more interested in what happens in Catholic dating. At which point during the dating/relationship/courtship, did you share your first kiss (on the mouth) with your partner-in-kissing? After the first date, second date, third date, fourth date? Or after becoming exclusive, becoming engaged, or at the alter? Or more specifically, after you kissed on the cheek, how soon did you transition to kissing on the mouth?

Last but not least, I want to say that I would respect the girl's boundaries no matter what. Thank you.


#2

We had been officially going steady for two weeks, IIRC, and I was 19 and she was 20.

That was my first girlfriend. My second (and current) girlfriend and I ended up kissing probably around the third or fourth date, but we weren't going steady at the time (but did officially start a few days later).


#3

I find it just depends on the chemistry and the person. Each is different but for the most part it's usually by the second or third date that the kiss comes if there's going to one.

:cool:


#4

I hate to say this, but if you're asking about kissing this much you aren't ready for a relationship. This is your second thread about kissing. It's just one of those things that have to "feel" right. There are no rights or wrongs so long as you don't stick your tounge down her throat.

Kissing is not the end all-be all of being "together" if you go out with a person raised in a highly affectionate household (Irish, Italian, eg) you may have alot of hugs and kisses. If you go out with someone who was raised in a very standoffish (English) household you may practically be married with children before any hand-holding!

More important is how the other person treats you and others and how you feel about comunication with them.


#5

My girlfriend and I discussed this very shortly after I first held her hand.

We have elected not to share a kiss, or even an embrace, before an engagement. That's, at this point, at least two years away.

Patience is a virtue. I'm going on faith that the kiss will be that much sweeter for the wait (I've actually the peculiar joy of never having kissed a girl before; it's all anticipation of the unknown, although of course I do not dwell on it).


#6

I would kiss on the first date but I never had a guy try to kiss me on the first date. I think. I really can't recall. Wait, I think my ex boyfriend kissed me on the first date. My husband waited but I don't remember how long. Maybe it was the 2nd date with him. lol! Or it could of been a few dates in. It was so long ago, I really don't remember.


#7

[quote="ThereIsThisGirl, post:1, topic:214937"]
I suppose in secular dating, kissing on the first date isn't uncommon. I'm more interested in what happens in Catholic dating. At which point during the dating/relationship/courtship, did you share your first kiss (on the mouth) with your partner-in-kissing? After the first date, second date, third date, fourth date? Or after becoming exclusive, becoming engaged, or at the alter? Or more specifically, after you kissed on the cheek, how soon did you transition to kissing on the mouth?

Last but not least, I want to say that I would respect the girl's boundaries no matter what. Thank you.

[/quote]

My husband and I corresponded online for several months before we met in person. During part of that time, we had phone dates.

I always went back and forth on whether or not to wait till marriage to kiss someone again. I discussed it with my husband and we overall hadn't made a consistant decision on it before we met, though we intended not to kiss. We met in person. liked each other still and decided to court. Strange to say, but I honestly don't remember our first kiss. I don't remember how we ended up kissing, but technically it was the first date. We then decided not to kiss again and overall went back and forth on this throughout our courtship. It was easy to get caught up in a rule and to look for ways to still let your lust find expression and bend the rules. I didn't want to get so hooked on the rules that we lost the point in chastity, but we knew boundaries were important and thus rules were important. If we slipped too far, than we'd get more strict and be good for awhile till we got overconfident again.

I am glad now though that we took the rules as a battle ground. If we found ourselves falling backward, we'd take the offensive and come up with stricter rules to help us and to help win the battle over our hearts. Another thing that helped was praying the liturgy of the hours together.


#8

embrace meaning like not even a hug?

My friends had stated that they wanted to wait until engagement to kiss. I thought this was crazy but the more I read (both Christopher West and Jason Evert) this made sense. I think that a quick peck is ok, but an intense kiss I think should wait until engagement. This actually can be a good weed out because only a strong and virtuous man or woman would still consider dating someone with those beliefs. My parents think this is crazy but I finally found a catholic guy and this doesn’t bother him, nor is it even and issue.


#9

I shared my first kiss with my girlfriend about one week after I told her I loved her which was probably about 2-3 months into the relationship. Before that the "I love you" that I held in for so long just wanted to come bursting out. We have now been together for 6 months and have plans to get married someday.


#10

youtube.com/watch?v=IkXnYzlGzVw
:D


#11

embrace meaning like not even a hug?

Correct. As our relationship exists at present over a great distance, this is a difficult rule to follow at reunions, but we do so.

My friends had stated that they wanted to wait until engagement to kiss. I thought this was crazy but the more I read (both Christopher West and Jason Evert) this made sense. I think that a quick peck is ok, but an intense kiss I think should wait until engagement. This actually can be a good weed out because only a strong and virtuous man or woman would still consider dating someone with those beliefs. My parents think this is crazy but I finally found a catholic guy and this doesn't bother him, nor is it even and issue.

Hmmm...I can certainly see that, although from my perspective it is a concession to my weakness that such a rule exists. A virtuous man could safely abide without such a rule.


#12

Thank you all for the responses. If the kiss happens, I would be ready to ask her to go steady.


#13

I'm happy to report that the kiss did indeed happen, albeit after I asked her to go steady.


#14

Very cool! Ahh, young love...

Congrats on your steady relationship!


#15

[quote="dconklin, post:14, topic:214937"]
Very cool! Ahh, young love...

Congrats on your steady relationship!

[/quote]

My thoughts exactly. I think it is wonderful that you are being cautious and asking about things on a Catholic board. To me, it shows that you have respect for yourself and the young lady and just need a little advice and encouragement on how to proceed.

By the way, keep yourselves in public places a good bit. Believe me, young love can get carried away in the physical deparement once the ball starts rolling! Holding hands and gentle kisses she be IT. Give the relationship a chance to grow in your non physical connections to see whether or not you all truly are a fit. Keep her, and yourself, safe from temptation.

Taben


#16

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