When I was about 12 or 13 years old, my mother told me that if I ever committed suicide, I would end up in Hell


I was never truly suicidal, I would always mimic what I saw on film but my mother told me that if I committed suicide, I would’ve ended up in Hell. I mean, to be so young, living such a short life on Earth and then spend eternity away from God in absolute misery, pain, suffering and agony never to feel happiness, joy or love ever again?

Now I really want nothing to do with God. I’m scared stiff of Him and want absolutely nothing to do with my parents or my family ever again. I don’t want to see anyone. I’m leaving God permanently.


Why are you just assuming what your mom told you is true? Don’t you want to do your own investigation before you write off God?


Your mam was maybe terrified that you would hurt yourself. Maybe she feared that you would kill yourself.


Frankly that is a silly position to take. Leave God over one thing your mum said that you don’t even know is true! Come on!!
We go to Hell by dying in a state of mortal sin.

Are you a Catholic? If so, you appear to be badly catechised.


“I’m leaving God permanently” is not wise if “I’m scared stiff of Him”, for that fear will not be removed except by being friends with God.


I heard a little anecdote once. I don’t know where I heard it because it was a long time ago.

A seemingly vicious dog is left out to roam around. People are afraid of him even though he never bit anyone. A man goes up to the dog and gives him a milk bone. He gently strokes the dog’s ears.

Someone comes along and says, “That is a very dangerous dog. He will tear you apart.”

The man replies, “He certainly doesn’t seem that bad.” The dog then licks the hand of the man who fed him and walks away.

Sometimes it is important to learn the truth and the only way you can is to try to deal with it.


Your mother’s understanding suffers from a common misconception.
This is what the Catechism of the Catholic Church says about suicide:

CCC 2280 Everyone is responsible for his life before God who has given it to him. It is God who remains the sovereign Master of life. We are obliged to accept life gratefully and preserve it for his honor and the salvation of our souls. We are stewards, not owners, of the life God has entrusted to us. It is not ours to dispose of.

CCC 2281 Suicide contradicts the natural inclination of the human being to preserve and perpetuate his life. It is gravely contrary to the just love of self. It likewise offends love of neighbor because it unjustly breaks the ties of solidarity with family, nation, and other human societies to which we continue to have obligations. Suicide is contrary to love for the living God.

CCC 2282 If suicide is committed with the intention of setting an example, especially to the young, it also takes on the gravity of scandal. Voluntary co-operation in suicide is contrary to the moral law.

Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide.

CCC 2283 We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives.

In other words, taking your own life is a homicide, just as surely as if you had killed anyone else. It is gravely wrong to choose to do it.

Having said that, however, the Church recognizes that suicide is not always a rational choice. One of the conditions that make something a mortal sin is that it be a deliberate choice, not made under duress or with distorted knowledge. In the case of a suicide victim, this is obviously something that is for God to judge.

No matter how old we get to be, our life on earth is short. We were made for an eternity spent in the love of God, which is total bliss. God in the Second Person emptied himself, became a man, suffered, and was killed in a horrible way, asking that those who killed him receive forgiveness, to save us from our sins. Do not fear God, then. God is obviously on your side. Even when you are beyond loving yourself or wanting happiness or joy for yourself, God still thirsts for that for you. We should only fear that we will be sold on sin, the unreality that makes false promises about what will lead to our happiness. The only thing that will not change to save us is reality. What is false won’t become true in order to give us true happiness, because that is impossible.


I don’t know about hell but suicide violates a genuine love for oneself and one’s neighbor: family, friends. Other people need us and depend on us in ways we may not even know.


I’m glad to see the post above about the Catholic position on suicide. The reality is the last thing a suicididale person needs to hear is eternal damnation. My cousin committed suicide on Christmas Eve this year, he was a depressive alcoholic who’s marriage was falling apart. There are times I am almost brought to tears thinking of either my son doing this or how much my cousins, Anut, and Uncle are is heart broken.


So you posted this because…?


Because it bothers me so much that I can hardly function on a day-to-day basis.


It is really hard to be a parent, and sometimes we make mistakes. Your mother loves you and does not want you to think suicide is an option.

The reality is that the Church teaches that suicide is grave matter, that if the other two conditions of mortal sin are fulfilled it would be a mortal sin.

However, nowadays the majority of people who commit suicide do so because they have psychological issues. This means they do not fulfill the other two conditions of mortal sin (full knowledge and full consent).

A lot of times we see God as a judge, and think He will be mean about the bad things we have done.

In reality, God is like a perfect Father: He loves us more than we can possibly imagine. Sometimes He does have to teach us, just as our earthly fathers do. Our parents teach us not to touch hot stoves or accept rides from strangers or run into roads without looking–not to be mean, but to protect us.

Think about the fact that God sent His Son to save us, and what Jesus went through to save us! I hope that that will help you understand God’s love more, so you will not be afraid of Him and love Him instead.


Do you have mental health issues?


As I get along in life and get a bit older, I see how much the family survivors of suicide suffer. Family members are scarred for life. I can understand why people have considered this a grave sin. Perhaps your mother’s comments were just a way to try to steer you away from suicide if she thought you were inclined to do that.
May we ask how old you are now?


Did something just happen that brought back this memory from when you were 12 or 13??


I would suggest seeing a doctor if you haven’t already. As others have noted, suicide is not always a mortal sin. Depression and other mental illness can affect a person’s culpability.


Rosaline, are you an adult?


Yes. I’m 28.


When someone says “I was never truly suicidal,” they have been through feeling very miserable and not feeling they had the resources to cope with that. If the person also felt they were not worth the effort of coping, whether or not they were “truly” suicidal or not is a moot point. That is a serious situation, as serious as chest pressure that feels like an elephant on the chest or a headache that is the worst the patient ever imagined they could have. People ignore or downplay these kinds of symptoms, but all are life-threatening.
Sometimes, reminding yourself that you have no more right to kill yourself than to kill anyone else does help in the short term. It is no substitute for getting help in remembering why that is, which is that God’s gift of life is a gift of love God intends for you give you great joy as your use to love and be loved in this life. This is a vale of tears, there is no doubt about it, and many of us suffer from terrible trials, but even in this life we are meant to have cause for rejoicing. When that is gone, it is time to reach out for help, whether we feel we are worth it or not. We need to have faith that this is God’s opinion, and we can trust it.


I’m 28 years old.

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