When I was confirmed...I WORRY

I’m new to catholic answers…I hope this question/thought is in the appropriate thread.

I’m 32yrs old, married woman. I’m a cradle catholic (although I admit I have never even heard this term until last year).

Anyhow, in the past few years, I feel as though I have had a spiritual awakening. Everything that was in shades or grey is now in bright colors and I have been living my faith with renewed vigor, accessing the sacraments frequently, increased my prayer life, more involved in my parish. I know it’s an answer to prayer–I literally prayed for my faith to increase and it has!

BUT

I look back at the time were I was lukewarm and down right cold. And I worry. Was I an idiot teenager when I was Confirmed? yeah, I probably was…it was 8th or 9th grade and I think I didn’t take it as seriously as I should have. I didn’t know the gravity of it and I went through the motions.

I have confessed everything I can think of that I ever did and am now trying for confession at least monthly if not more…but I still worry that because I was defintely a jerk of a teenager and possibly lacking a solid interior life when I got married that the sacraments I received were in some way diminished? Is that even possible?

Thank you in advance for reading this and sharing your thoughts with me:)

To answer the bolded question- NO!!

I heard in a homily yesterday that “worry” is just another word for not trusting God! :wink:

None of us is perfect, especially when we are in our teens!

Remember the Church is a hospital for sinners, not a country club for saints!! :smiley:

Put your mind at ease, trust in God and just do your best for today!

Peace be with you on your journey!!

You say that now you are seeing the things differently than you ever have. Now take a moment and tell me that the graces that you received through those sacraments were not working in you? You see? Whether or not you accepted them properly at the moment you received them, the grace was still at your disposal, and apparently has grown to bring you to this very moment.

When a baby is baptised, that baby receives those graces without that initial choice, yet, the graces still works on the child to do with them what he/she will… let it grow or try to block them out.

It seems to me that whether you understood what you were receiving or not, the grace of your confirmation was given and worked in your soul.

When you receive a sacrament like Confirmation or Marriage while you are in a state of mortal sin, you do not receive the graces of the sacrament, even though the sacraments are conferred validly. However, when you make a good confession and return to the state of grace, you do indeed receive all the graces of the sacraments you received unworthily. So, whether you received the graces at the time you received the sacraments remains in question, but NOW, you can be sure of having all of them working within you.

Additionally, not every worrisome question is a matter of not trusting God. Sometimes you really do need an answer.

One thing I’ve learned lately is how conversion is a process that happens over and over, becoming deeper and deeper. God comes to us and we turn back to God continually throughout life, with the big picture showing our increased sanctification.
In the New Testament, Jesus gave the apostles the Spirit and the power to forgive sins, then they still had to wait until Pentecost to receive the Spirit Yet again.

You sound like a sincere Catholic Christian who truly wants to have “all her ducks in a row”. God Bless!

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