I’ve been reading some references to divorce and just wondered what you thought.
Do you mean divorce only or divorce with an annulment or divorce and remarriage?
[quote=JimO]Do you mean divorce only or divorce with an annulment or divorce and remarriage?
I’m just talking about civil divorces . . . and I’m just looking for opinions. Annulments are up to the church.
I would assume dating and remarriage would come only after an annulment, but if anyone disagrees with me on that, feel free to post.
Divorce isn’t the problem today, it’s people who are too quick to marry, who then find out they actually don’t like the relationship they are in and decide to get divorced. People need to spend a little more time in deciding who they should marry.
[quote=TheBlackGhost]Divorce isn’t the problem today, it’s people who are too quick to marry, who then find out they actually don’t like the relationship they are in and decide to get divorced. People need to spend a little more time in deciding who they should marry.
I agree with you to an extend, but I also know people who dated and co-habituated for years only to divorce within the first year of marriage. I think there are two other factors that can effect divorce:
1.) People unrealistically, and perhaps sub-consciously, expect everything to change for the better after marriage. Or become more like their parents. This is the “happily ever after” syndrome that makes some newlyweds think their marriage was a mistake as soon as they encounter their first real argument as a married couple.
[font=Arial]2.) Things do change after marriage. Possibly in undesired ways.[/font]
I think civil divorce is ok only when it is needed to protect oneself, one’s children, or one’s assets.
If he were an addict who was going for help - I’d stick around to see if he could get sober. If he started using again - I’d divorce him.
If he cheated and it was a one time thing and he was very sorry - I’d forgive him and try to make it work but if he cheated a second time - I’d divorce him.
If he beat me… he’d better make the first hit worth it because he would NEVER get a chance to hit me again. I’d file charges and divorce him.
Would I want to date again? Not unless I got an annulment and even with that, not until all of my children were out of the house.
But then again, how easy it is for me, who has a husband who is none of those things to say what I’d do if he were. I feel such sorrow for those who have to actually make those life decisions.
I hesitate to say divorce is ever really “OK”.
But in some circumstances it is the only rational response to a situation that is not “OK” and is unlikely to change to be OK.
Civil divorce is OK when any of the 3 “A”'s are involved. They are Abuse, Addiction and Adultry. Other than that I say work it out.
this is really hard to answer since my dear husband walked out on our family 10 weeks ago and has rarely communicated since. He has major depressive episodes and I could not sit at home with him and baby him after he lost his job. I went out and got a job and things went downhill from there. Now I am working and alone. Of course, I feel I made the most mistakes. This is soooo difficult.
I am at that cross road right now and am very confused. When you have reached a point whereby you just had enough of the lies, deceipt and betrayal what other alternative do you have but to divorce. I feel that if you have been for counselling, tried many times and things just don’t get better than Divorce is the best solution. But then the people that get hurt the most by that is the children. . Then I think of Matthew 19 and what it says about divorce.
Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on any grounds?" 4 “Haven’t you read,” He replied, “that He who created them in the beginning made them male and female, 5 and He also said: For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, man must not separate.” 7 “Why then,” they asked Him, “did Moses command us to give divorce papers and to send her away?” 8 He told them, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts. But it was not like that from the beginning. 9 And I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” 10 His disciples said to Him, “If the relationship of a man with his wife is like this, it’s better not to marry!” 11 But He told them, “Not everyone can accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb, there are eunuchs who were made by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves that way because of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.”
Wow what an eye-opening experiance. Let’s see my soon to be ex-husband had 2 of the A’s Addition, and Abuse, as far a adultry I am not sure but all I know was it was really hard to sleep beside a man that would beg to sleep with my best friend because “she is a virgin, and its every man’s dream to sleep with a virgin” well we got married I thought I was this mans dream. I was blessed I have no children, and well nothing at all from this marriage except for bills, light, phone, and a cell phone, which I must pay before I get my own house again. Its really sad because I am only 21 and Now I am in college working on my 4-year degree. And when I look around at all the couples, it makes me sad, I just want to be normal and date and laugh, without looking over my shoulder afraid that he will find me and force me to leave with him. My prayers go out to those who have children and have already made a family life, but the only advice that seems to help me out everytime I think about it, which is everyday of my life, “God never gives you more than you can handle.” May peace be with you. Kisses and Hugges