Hello - This is my first time on here so I hope I am in the right forum? And I am a very private person so this is a huge outreach for me for some guidance....
Short story: I was raised Catholic. Fell away from my faith for many many years. Felt lost and never completely whole but in Oct of 2010 I became back in full communion with the Church - which has been the most amazing blessing as well as some of the most trying times of my life.
I have recently been faced with a question that I have no idea the path to take.
My question: When do you know if you are doing the right thing, or to just mind your own business?
Situation: Been Legally (civil) divorced for nine years. This past Christmas, my two teenage children "accidentally" let the "cat out of the bag" that there dad was in a relationship with a married ex-highschool girlfriend. Besides the fact that it is adultery and their dad didn't want me to know about it, I had gone through confirmation with this womans husband (and later kind of dated). So they all knew I knew him, and were afraid I would tell him. I haven't spoken to him since I was 17 (27 years ago).
Although I realize personally it's none of my business what they are doing, I'm having trouble knowing something about someone I used to care about, as well as the fact that my children are okay with the situation. They have also been told that he is abusive and a terrible controlling person. Yet she is still with him? Not exactly the example I want my 18 daughter seeing as okay?
I know if I say anything to him, I will have my children so mad at me, that they may never speak to me again - as they have established a relationship with this woman - and have already been instructed to 1)keep it a secret from me and 2)have told me I better not tell him. But I also know that if the tables were turned and he and his wife had been divorced for 9 years and he found out that his ex-wife as well as his children were in in a relationship with my husband, I would hope and pray that he or someone would let me know.
I'm just really torn between- When is staying out of it the right thing. When is saying something the right thing. And how to "try" to and explain to your children "why?" I am not happy happy joyful, when they mention that they spent a weekend with their dad and his married girlfriend, without making them feel uncomfortable. I must add. I was not able to raise my children in my faith as to the fact that my ex-husband is very very much against anything that has to do with the Catholic Faith. And he has expressed to our children his dislike in Catholicism. Luckily my daughter will periodically attend Mass with me, but my son (16) has no problem expressing his dislike for it like his dad. That's a whole other post for a question. Why do people who don't even attend any church - bash another faith?? Just Foolish I guess....anyway
Any advice would be appreciated....