When life is just hard, and not getting easier


#1

OK most of you know I am usually happy and pretty easygoing, but I feel like there are just no breaks in life for me right now. This whole year so far has been so horribly difficult and I would just like some perspective on keeping a good outlook and staying grateful.

To start with I broke my leg in March while trying to get license plates of the car dh blew the engine in… just after I found out I was pregnant. Unfortunately it was my right leg so I couldn’t drive for 8 weeks…UGH, I am way too independent for that!!! Then my 17 yo ds had to have ankle surgery and 2 of us were down… I couldn’t even drive him to school and dh leaves for work at 5:15 am so ds had to ask friends for rides. I had to get rides to work too… with a co-worker I don’t much care for. Then on May 1, I finally had insurance coverage… and I woke up to bleeding and had to go to the hospital where I miscarried. About this time my oldest(20 yo ds) blew the engine in my car that he had been driving… OK, but he left it in a parking lot of an apartment complex and it got towed. Down 2 cars and 2 legs so far… next, the 17 yo dives out of a paddleboat into a lake…into 3 feet of water! Another trip to hospital!!! but on the good side, 2 days before I was allowed to start driving. So now he has a concussion and cervical strain…what more you ask… well remember the car that got towed??? We get a bill from the towing company for $1164.17 for towing and storage because ds never changed the car over to his name! Now all the medical bills are coming in for all the stuff I have to pay for and dd’s school sends me a bill for the rest of her tuition…$1125 left on it. Miscarriage bills to date:$9500, broken leg… work covered… DS’s surgery and concussion…don’t know yet!! AND to top all this off, my dog actually broke his stranded cable and got loose, got picked up my the dog catcher… friend in police dept waived the fine but dog got sick and has been in the vet hospital for a week… they estimate the bill to be about $400 so far. When is this all going to end??? Not yet apparently!!! We get the bill for dd’s tuition for next year and of course it went up…like over $1000. Her tuition is now $6300/yr and the cherry on the cake…ds needs to be homeschooled next year and that is about $500.

So, my usual cheery self is not cheery… my prospects for a raise at work seems to be contingent on someone else’s performance and he is not getting it done… and I am so depressed and just feeling totally worthless, like I am a huge burden on dh, along with my kids… I work so hard, I try to keep positive, but I feel like I am finally beat… I just feel like screaming I GIVE UP!!!

PLEASE… I could use words of encouragement right now, and maybe some prayers please…


#2

Story of my life!

Hope your situation gets better!


#3

Dear BlestOne,

It sounds like you are storing up treasures in heaven.

Prayers for you, that the Holy Spirit continue to bless you with His gifts, and that Divine Providence speedily see to your financial needs so that you can continue to provide for yourself and all those in your family who depend on you.

~~ the phoenix


#4

I can’t tell you anything you haven’t already heard. But I will stress how important it is to give it all to Jesus. Stay close to Him, trust in Him, and give all of this pain and frustration to Him. When I have been in trials like this, the only thing that gave me any peace at all was to just pray, "Jesus, I can not deal with this. I am at the end of my rope. I give it to You. You have to take care of it now, because I can’t."
And I will continue my prayers for you. :crossrc: :console: :hug1:


#5

Blest One

I’ve been there, too! After dh lost his job, it was just one thing after another for literally years. I started feeling like EVERYONE ELSE has “good lives”, and mine was awful. Like you, it seemed the financial strain was the biggest stress. Having to struggle for everything, just made all other minor issues into catastrophes.

I’ve always been a worrier and a planner. I think God allowed me to (and is STILL allowing) suffer in this way, so that I could learn to turn everything to him. It seemed the more “rock bottom” we got, the more I simply had to trust God to get us through. When times were the roughest is when my faith increased. Let me add that when some big bill hit us hard, I just looked to God, and asked Him to please help us. Unbelievably, every single time this happened, some inexplicable check would arrive or someone would want to buy rocks from our woods or some other such thing. Things are a little better for us now, but I will always remember that God did not forget me. It might’ve felt like it sometimes, but He didn’t. He won’t forget you either.

Prayers coming your way…


#6

On the plus side when you hit the bottom the only way left to go is up.
On the car that was towed, given the fact it is no longer in working condition, I would not pay to recover it. Just sign the title over and mail it in to the towing company or do nothing at all and they’ll just file for an abandonment title.


#7

BlestOne,

Let me echo what everyone else has already said to you in that I feel for you. Trust me when I tell you that my wife and I feel almost exactly the way that you do. Our mantra is “when are we going to get a break?” (no pun intended) We live paycheck to paycheck. Up to our eyeballs in credit card debt (mind you this is with her sitting on my shoulders :slight_smile: ) and currently I have been relocated to CO (from MO) for work and she is back at home taking care of 3 kids while being pregnant with our 4th. Now I could go on and on, but I am thinking that you get the idea here.

The things that are getting us through this storm in our lives are each other, prayer, CAF (believe it or not), our faith, and to be honest that is about it. We take it one day at a time. We know that there is a reason for all of this. There is someone named ‘zemi’ who posts on here and if you see the signature it is so relevant to this, it states: “I never said it would be easy…I just said it would be worth it.” There is a picture of a piece of the crown of thorns on it…here is one of the post where you can see it, it is beautiful:

forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=158055&page=7

That is something that you can focus on. I like to recall the saying that God will not give us more than we can handle. Also, maybe God have given this to you because He knows that you can handle this whereas someone else would not be able to. I just try to offer up all that I can to God in hopes that He will get me back home to my family soon! Atleast you can hug and kiss your DH and children at night. My kids are 8, 4, and 2 and are heartbroken that they do not see me. My 4 year old DD goes through times that she just breaks down in tears. She has to watch home made movies that have me in it so that she can see me. It makes me so sad.

Well I will stop now, I just wanted to share part of my story with you in hopes that it helped a little bit. We both have it tough so I will keep you in my prayers if you do the same for me and for my family. :signofcross:


#8

Prayers & :hug3:


#9

Ahhh this was my thought too but the state of Illinois says you can’t register a vehicle if you have a towing and storage bill outstanding…on the plus side… we got the new title and registration for the new car the day before this bill arrived and we are not the title holders until I pay it off in a year…

Oh… just got back from the vet hospital… they told me the bill would be $200-400 on Thursday, but when we went to pick up the dog, they included the deposit (I didn’t think they were including it) and took that off the bill and said I owed $91…whew!! So dog is home and doing much better except he stinks (son is giving him a bath right now) and he is so happy to be home!!!

Giannawannabe… you have described my life completely! After the divorce I went through years of bills and unexplained checks in the mail…just enough to cover the bills. I thought I learned that lesson in trusting God, but perhaps he thinks I need a refresher…

I do remember the way I lost everything except what was important to me, my kids… and how not even my family helped, God was it… all of it… and he NEVER let me down. Sometimes I guess we all need that reminder, thank you Giannawannabe for reminding me that I have everything I need and everything that is important… I have the kids and a wonderful dh and I am getting my health back (slowly).

Please pray that I finally learn… this time.

I think I got caught up in resenting that I am probably not going to get my raise again… even though I work my buttocks off. I don’t just work for one company, I work for all our companies and to have my raise attached to our least successful company just irritates me!!! I just have to chill and persevere though this and trust that it will work out in the end… One of our other companies is on the verge of making millions (we have 4 mil in contracts on the table as we speak, with tons more possible in the very near future) and the guy in charge likes my work and I think he may renegotiate his contract and include me in his support staff. Of course I won’t know anything for at least a month because even though I am in crisis this month the CEO and owner of all our companies is on vacation all month… his schedule just doesn’t revolve around me!!! I guess I just have to get over myself and trust that the right decisions will be made and hopefully soon… God, I pray that you guide them in making all the right decisions!!!


#10

Funny how that works out, I seem to have the same problem with my managers. :shrug:


#11

Sounds like a good portion of the gross national economy is depending on you. :slight_smile:


#12

:smiley: I’ve felt that way for years!


**blestone - **
BTDT!
just get through the day, then tomorrow, then the next thing after that.


Right now I’m upset because VBS for my top 5 children is going to cost over $100 and when I said I couldn’t afford it… I get interrogated about our expenses and the lecture on how the parish has to “recoup the expense of paying for these things” … long story short - they don’t care. My boys and 1 girl are so disappointed to not be going to make new friends from our new parish and now I hear… "wow, it must su to be from a big family - you can’t ever do anything!" as they play outside with the neighbor kid who attends. Well not when that something is $100!:rolleyes:**


**I guess I could pitch a fit. but if that’s how they are going to be, maybe my kids shouldn’t be there anyways.:frowning: :shrug: **


**Blested, just do what you can and leave the rest to God. It WILL work out in the end. And don’t forget to give Him thanks for your blessings. I think he really appreciates being appreciated for his hard work.:wink: **


#13

DH and I just had a “discussion”:frowning:

All I have ever wanted to do is send my kids to good schools so they could have opportunities. Our public school is on the top 10 WORST schools in the state list. This is why I am home schooling son next year… and now since dd didn’t get straight A’s, in fact did rather poorly, he wants to take her out of Catholic school and send her to the public school. His concession… Can we send her to the HS in the next town over and pay out of district fees??? Ummmm last person I knew that did that, paid over $900 for it… granted this is less than $6300, but I also would have to drive her in every day and then get me to work at the same time. Not to mention, I kind of chalked the bad grades up to going to a new school and getting used to new teachers and new friends… now he wants her to switch schools again??? She has no desire to homeschool like her brother and probably wouldn’t do the required work. He also got on the $500 to homeschool ds thing too… because ds has a hard time getting his work done. The difference is ds is motivated and wants this badly… I told him I want to get a part-time job to offset the expenses and he said no! Now I am really upset!!! It felt like he was making me choose between him and my kids and career. I know he didn’t mean to make it seem that way, but it sure feels like it at the moment. He also brought up that he doesn’t like me going to my boss and telling him my goal for dd because the boss helped offset her tuition last year. Now I really don’t know what to do!!! We agreed on all the financial stuff and which bills to pay off when, but this is too much for me!!! It feels like everything I have worked for is getting thrown out the window!!! I won’t go against dh, but this one really has me going…know what I mean???


#14

I never said I was important… but thanks for kicking me while I am down!!!


#15

BTDT??? What does it mean??


#16

Been There Done That

(I believe)


#17

OK I feel stupid now… that is one of my main motto’s and I couldn’t figure it out:rolleyes:


#18

Oh, Blest, my heart goes out to you. :hug3: The stress you’re feeling is just shooting out of my computer screen.

Just this morning, actually, I was telling DH about “one of the girls on CAF,” and made him laugh when I told him about your Beat Your Children Weekend family joke, and your son’s “broken home” thing he told his teacher. You are such a loving mom filled with good humor, that times like this must feel like they’re just killing you.

Hugs to you!


#19

Hey, hey----I’m not trying to kick you, dear; I just thought maybe a light comment might make you feel better. I apologize.

I know where you’re at, believe me. I’m up to my neck in debt, had to declare bankruptcy last year, and lost my job this year.

All I can say is hang in there, and keep praying. God is still in control, no matter how out of control we may think we are. :slight_smile:


#20

Sorry…really touchy right now. I know things will get better… just have to get past the initial panic stage and into the prayer and problem solving stage. Not there yet… still kicking myself about bad decisions I made 21 yrs ago…ones that normally I am OK with until I get overwhelmed and upset… I am sure you all know what I mean. I realized I went from less than $10,000 debt (including house mortgage) to over $25-30,000 debt in 3 months time… quite a shock. I don’t live above my means by any circumstance… but it sure looks that way right now!!!


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