When my brother has divorced and remarried should I shun him?


#1

My brother has divorced and is now legally remarried to a non Catholic.Can we accept his new wife?We have to maintain our family ties and visit each other?Am I right in saying that he needs me more than ever before from the point of view of salvation.?;:wink:


#2

Of course you shouldn’t shun you brother. Or his wife.


#3

Didn’t Jesus say something about the person being without sin to cast the first stone?


#4

Of course not, why would anyone want to shun their brother for having remarried?


#5

You shouldn’t do anything that makes him feel that he is actually married to her. That might only strengthen him in his determination to a relationship that can mean he is a lost soul. But you could always visit without treating them as a couple by going to dinner there or doing something that indicates that you think of them being in a legitimate relationship.
It is more important to pray for him though and, too, to try to get him to straighten out his moral life if he will listen. It would be better not to cut yourself off from him especially if you can do something to help him, nor in any case is it good to cut yourself off from your own brother if you can do it without joining in his sin with him.


#6

He’s your brother and this legal wife of his is someone who is in his life. You can treat them as such (not as a married couple but people who are important to each other). Jesus hung out with sinners (so I know he would have come to my house a few times too).


#7

Agree with others–don’t shun your brother or his new wife. We are to love others – especially family. Now, if you were to have a get together at your home, and he wanted to spend the night with his wife, then that would be different, because they are not married in God’s eyes. In other words, accept your brother and his wife, but not the behaviors that might come along with their new “union.”

Hope that helps.


#8

If you shun him how will you be able to bring back to God?
You may make your disappointment at his decision and let him know you may not see him as married and why. Then work on helping him understand.


#9

Thank you all for the very enlightening responses.:slight_smile:


#10

People don’t always do what God wills and that’s true for all of us. Jesus didn’t shun the woman at the well, so feel free to interact with your brother in love the way you always have. Once you’ve made it clear how you feel about his decision, just keep praying for them both. Pushing them away will likely accomplish nothing positive in either of your lives.

I am curious as to the “not treating her as his wife” advice you got, exactly how would that work practically I wonder?


#11

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