When the though is not enough

I went to see some friends for New year’s. I don’t see these people nearly as often since I moved to another part of town. When we get together, we usually exchange gifts. Well… the woman works at a hotel and she told me I was the first person she though of when the hotel was replacing all the coffee makers in the room. She got me 2 of them and a whole bunch of the coffee they leave in the room for guests.

These people are low income and I thanked them but deep down I am hurt. Not hurt by her actions, I understand her financial situation and her other priorities. I also understand the type of friendship we have does not call for more.

I am simply hurt because there is NO relatinship in my life where I am spoiled. Where I can just sit back and let someone else do something nice for me. Anytime someone fixes something in my home for me, I but them a gift. I have no friend who would do it for free because we have such a close friendship it is just part of it.

I just wish every once in a while I could be made to feel special by someone other than my mother

CM

Dear CM, It was a nice gift because you were in her mind. She thought of you and that you would like the coffeemaker and coffee and she went to the trouble of carrying them home to give to you.

The desire for unconditional love is one that God puts in our hearts. Perfect parenting would help us have an image of ourselves as loved and lovable. I think that most parents don’t or can’t do this so we don’t have this kind of self image. We don’t have the deep rooted conviction that we are truly the beloved of God and that we will be loved in this life.

I don’t come on the forums much anymore, lack of time, but your postings always touch me. You will be in my prayers today. I think God has something good in mind for your future, something better than you can now imagine.

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