When Words Can Kill: 'That's So Gay'

Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover was 11-- hardly old enough to know his sexuality and yet distraught enough to hang himself last week after school bullies repeatedly called him “gay.”

The Springfield, Mass., football player and Boy Scout was ruthlessly teased, despite his mother’s pleas to the New Leadership Charter School to address the problem.

Sirdeaner L. Walker, 43, found Carl hanging by an extension cord on the second floor of the family’s home April 6, just minutes before she was going to a meeting to confront school authorities again.

entire article

This is so tragic. :frowning:

Awful - bullying is so rampant and trying to get the school administration to admit there is something evil in their school- is virtually impossible.My daughter was being harassed on a daily basis. instead of correcting the weasels that were tormenting her they gave her a body guard!they suspended her from school for “her safety”! I went around in circles trying to get the school to straighten things out . But they refuse to change the status quo. This has been going on in this school for quite a few years.it comes down to- they don’t want the bad publicity of pulling a whole bunch of little monsters out for bullying -and have the little darlings parents complain that little junior or sally is really "a good kid"when he’s/she’s at home!

If these parents of the children would finally take these schools to court, enough lawsuits would quickly make it a priority. That’s the reality of it all, the school even in tragic cases as described with the OP wasn’t enough for them to take action, sadly the only recourse is to hit them in the pocket books.

Sad story, sad indeed

The idea that a school cares at all about bullying is novel to me. No one cared a lick when I was growing up. Perhaps adults at that time all said to themselves that they had endured it themselves and came out fine? Maybe adults feel there is no way to stop bullying? Maybe that is why the article focuses so much on the specific words used to bully this particular child. Maybe they do think they could stop those specific words. I wonder, though, if that would eliminate the bullying, or instead just change its form.

No child should be bullied for either being gay or being perceived as such. Every bully should be properly disciplined.

Children call names because they know they will get a response from the victim. Ignoring them takes away the fun and the namecalling stops. They move on to more fun victims.

Bullying goes beyond words. There’s the intimidation, and violence.

This is not about “homophobia” - this is about school districts not doing anything about bullying. They probably think it is “free speech” Bullies don’t care about “orientation” - they only care that the victim is weaker and is an easy target. They use anything as an excuse. Wrong clothes, wrong color, wrong personality, wrong way of talking, etc. As long as the victim does not or cannot fight back, it will continue.

The correct way to handle bullies is to teach the children to fight and stand up to them. When a bully gets beaten up, they learn not to bully.

Of course, the school districts will get it wrong and turn this into a homosexual issue and indoctrinate children into the left wing propaganda.

Here’s the thing:

Let’s say Student X is a closeted gay. He’s very embarrassed about his sexuality, and doesn’t want to come out to anyone. He hears “That’s so gay”, “Don’t be a f___”, “Don’t be a little gay boy, show some courage” slung around by all sorts of people. What does this do for his self-esteem? Who can he talk to? Even his best friends use it as an insult.

My college has a couple different posters along those lines up in areas, and they say things like “That’s so blonde-cheerleader-who-always-says-dumb-things” and “That’s so meathead-football-player” and “That’s so nerd-who-has-more-games than friends”. It makes a valid point, but let’s take it to another level. What if your son had to go to school every day, and whenever something annoyed his friends, they said “That’s so Catholic!”, and his football coach told him when he failed to hit someone in a big game, “Don’t be such a little fish-eater!”

The problem needs to be attacked on two fronts; one, as you have pointed out, is the bullying, but the second is that calling somebody gay shouldn’t be used as an insult, and slurs shouldn’t be thrown around the hallways of schools, which are supposed to be safe places.

Don’t you mean,no child should be bullied PERIOD?Your bias is showing.Again…

The school districts have a responsibility to eliminate all forms of bullying, so elementary teachers ought to express zero tolerance for gay bullying, as they should for racial bullying, etc. I think these measures should be taken early on in childhood education so that the kids do not develop poor habits that are more difficult to curb in junior high and high school.

Unfortunately, it appears that many parents have stalled these efforts by equating a school ban on gay slurs with a coerced acceptance of the homosexual lifestyle. These parents must understand that requiring their kids to respect gay peers does not mean that they must accept or approve of their sexual orientation.

No, because stopping bullying of gays requires special action. Remarks like “That’s so gay” and calling people “f____s” have become so ingrained that they need to be addressed specifically.

And some people are “more equal” than others.Give your head a shake.:rolleyes:

Did this really happen? I’m not trying to be uncharitable, but I find this incredibly hard to believe.

Also, quit it with the persecution complex.

What persecution complex?

And did what really happen? The posters? They’re still up at my college.

The example of a gay kid? Yes. Two kids who graduated with me have since come out, and I can remember the way people talked at my high school.

The analogy of people making anti-Catholic remarks? No.

I don’t understand what you’re saying.

If I had children, they would never go to public school, that’s just a given. These bullies left to their own devices tend to grow up to become bullies as adults. There is even one on this very forum that continues to attack me, and it’s case in point. Why do we as a society turn a blind eye to it all, it just doesn’t make sense. Kids can be more crewel then you can imagine, they can be out right viscious, that’s something the parents and teachers never see, for they are doing so largely in private.

Growing up, my parents relocated us often, this meant a new school pretty much every two years, it meant I would have to face a gang of kids each time and have to fight them just to be able to walk down the halls. I learned how to fight back eventually, but still, it should have been contained by the staff in the first place, ie. new kid in school = having to face the pecking order similar to a pack of wild animals.

My school had bullies when I was a kid, and I had problems until I followed up on my old man’s advice: the next time somebody picked on me, I was to take ahold of the nearest weapon and I was to beat the living **** out of the perpetrator until he either surrendered or he was unconscious or dead, whichever came first.

It worked every time. Once I gave a kid a mild concussion from braining him with a coffee-table book after he’d spent 20 minutes industriously throwing rocks at me. He recovered, but he never bothered me again.

There’s only one way you can deal with an agressor, friends, whether it’s a playground bully or the Japanese Empire. We tend to shake our hands and bleat about how awful it is to have to deal with them that way, but the simple truth is, it’s the only way you’re ever going to stop them.

Of course no child should be bullied but since the majority of the incidents are because of another being gay that has to be seriously addressed. There is no bias here. Don’t know what you keep on implying with that remark but quit it.

I don’t really think there will ever be an end to bullying people…It seems to be a ugly part of life that is forever with us

Look at that young girl that hung herself because a neighbor tricked her into thinking a boy had dumped her

It isn’t just kids that bully…I’ve seen it on this very board

I suspect the poor people that resort to suicide are in need of medical help as much as an end to the bullying…It is a vicious cycle…Most of us have ben subjected to a bully or 2 in our lives…Some really get picked on unmercifully…I don’t know what the answer is, I don’t think it will ever stop

Sorry, but you are going to have to provide proof for the bolded assertation above.

I have spent a lot of time in elementary and junior high classrooms over the last two years. I have seen and intervened in dozens of bullying incidents; some joking, most not. I only remember two that had anything to do with “gay” name-calling. I think it might be fair to say that the incidence is on the rise because of heightened awareness but “a majority”? I don’t think so.

OMG Wolseley I think for the first time EVER I agree with one of your posts :smiley:

I was bullied at primary school (not over my sexuality) and after I snapped one day and broke the ringleader’s nose (:blush:) they never bothered me again.

However, I would never have been put in that position if teachers had taken a more active role in trying to prevent the bullying that was going on. Luckily most [British] schools do have bullying policies and take this kind of bullying seriously, and will specifically mention harrassment over sexual orientation as something that is not accepted. But it’s how they are enforced which counts of course and that can make all the difference in a student’s school life.

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