When you know something is wrong

Hi Everyone,

A Catholic friend of mine is currently going through a divorce and has moved out of the house he formerly shared with his wife. He is currently living with a female friend of his and her family. Neither of them see a problem with what they’re doing since they aren’t living alone and since they aren’t sharing a room. They also both say that it’s a completely platonic relationship, therefore there’s no problem with the amount of time they’re spending together.

So here’s my question. I see this all as a hugely problematic situation, if for no other reason then that it causes scandal. How can I make a clear argument that this is a problem? What can I use to back up my claim?


Considering the fact that these people are laypeople, the surface area for scandal under the circumstances you describe is small.

It does present a near opportunity for temptation, but nobody should assume that anything improper is taking place.

I’m confused as to why the fact that they’re lay limits the area for scandal.

It seems to me that if he is “staying with a female friend and her family,” that he is actually staying with a family, not with a woman.

I would not be offering any advice if he was my friend. It might be taken as the first stone. Pray for the couple and hope they find peace.


Scandal to anyone, even one soul, can be destructive. Each soul is eternally valuable.

And not so easy to maintain platonic relationships for ordinary lay people, so their souls also in some danger.

Anyway, God bless these families and bring all to good.

Agree. If they claim the relationship is platonic and the family is simply helping this man in a very desperate time; who are we to judge or create scandal? Or… is it really gossip being created? Making assumptions regarding someone’s behavior or character is going down a slippery slope. IMO.

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