When your greatest blessing is the result of serious sin

I’ve been thinking about this for awhile and just can’t figure a good way to explain it but I’d like to ask advice, opinion, thoughts - any input, on this…

The greatest thing that has ever happened to me in my life has came about through serious sin.
I spent many years away from the Church and committed many sins. As a result of at least one very serious sin, I am now married to the Love of my Life.
I know that we are meant to be together and I thank God for her daily, but I also struggle a bit because — well – did God bring her to me through this sin or what???

I know I’m being a bit silly about it and that God has forgiven me my past and all, but still - it sometimes troubles me. Partly it is because I am still reminded of the terrible hurt that my sin brought on others. Partly it is because I often here about how people ask God to send them their perfect Spouse (which she is)…But how could he send her to me through sin? :shrug:

Has anyone else felt this way - Or are in a similar situation.
Sorry for the rambling and disjointed nature of this…
Thoughts?

Peace
James

I realize that I am taking this quote from Scripture slightly out of context but as Saint Paul states in his Letter to the Romans: “…but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more…” and of course (so I am not misunderstood) Saint Paul was talking about the Law and also he states shortly thereafter that to sin intentionally so that God’s grace may abound is obviously foolish and wrong.

However, what I’m trying to get at is (without knowing much at all about your situation) that God’s will is never thwarted. God can and does use what seem like defeats to increase the glory of His victories all the more. A great example of this is when the Romans and the Temple leaders had the stone on Christ’s tomb sealed and guards placed at it to prevent His body from being removed. That very act on the part of the world to hem in God made the Resurrection all the more undeniable.

And like apparent defeats God can even use our own sins to lead us back to Him. I was estranged from the Church for several years and even developed a strong animosity towards the Church. But God never gave up on me and continued to work through me, even using my sins to lead me back to Him. How? Well, without getting into specifics no matter what someone who is sinning thinks at the time their sins are poison and can never give them healing or fullness of life, only Christ can do that. So by allowing me to stray and waste my life experiencing the vanities of the world I was able to come to realize my need not only for God, but also my need to be reunited to His Mystical Body again.

I suspect that the same may be true for you. Again, I do not know the details of your particular situation so I could be way off. But even so, in the end you have come home to God and His Church having all your past sins (including this one which troubles you so) forgiven.

If it continues to bother you I would suggest mentioning it to your priest the next time you go to Confession even though it is a sin you have already been absolved of, so that you can get his insights and advice on the matter.

It doesn’t seem fair to those you have hurt. Maybe that’s why God gave you this situation so you will feel guilt and understand the pain you caused.

that is part of the mystery of God’s forgiveness and mercy, that he continues to bless us in spite of our sin. For instance, the act that leads to the coming of a baby might have been sinful, but the baby is always, in all instances, a blessing. The key is to see God at work in all things, in all circumstances, in our failings as well as in our obedience, and to thank him for all things. That is why somebody, Augustine I think, called the sin of Adam “O happy fault” because in response to it God gave us his greatest gift and blessing his own Son. The deeper and blacker our sin, the deeper and brighter and stronger the grace God gives us to turn back to him, and the blessings he continues to shower on his point the way to that grace.

Dunno. But our Redeemer was won by the Blessed Fault!

Paul, alias Saul, was present at the stoning of Stephen. One would think that being party to murder was a sin.

However God used that incident to play on Saul’s mind so that he was ready for the Damascus experience. That doesn’t make Saul innocent - he was still responsible for what he did. But God brought good out of it. The same goes for you. I’m assuming it was premarital sex you’re talking about, and possibly an unplanned pregnancy (an educated guess).

But that doesn’t mean God approved of it. But He was able to bring good out of it, although obviously the two of you were highly compatible anyway.

I suspect there would be many times the number of cases where the very same sin has led to long term misery and regret for one or both parties.

Thanks to everyone for your replies.
I wish that I could lay out the specific details to help you understand, but to do so would be too lengthy and, frankly I am too embarrassed by them.

I guess I do understand that God continues to work in us even through our sin, it’s just trying to get a handle on it and gaining a good peace and resolution.

The problem is that, even when we are converted, we retain the memories of our past, sins, blessings, acts, even thoughts and opinions…and these memories can crop up at any time. I think that most of our past sins can be “put away” so to speak and when they pop up we can shrug them off, knowing that we are forgiven etc…
But when, as in the case of me and my dear wife, both sin and blessing are intertwined. It makes it more difficult.
Example: Thinking of how we met, courted, and eventually married is full of great joy. All the joys that any new couple experience as they grow together. And yet in this case that joy is also bound up with the sins that were also involved.

Ah well…Perhaps God just wants to make sure that I truly appreciate His gift of grace and forgiveness to us.

Peace
James

I was thinking about this very recently as well. It’s very true, God does write straight with crooked lines. I used to be very lustful, and had impure crushes on a whole bunch of different girls in high school (and they hardly knew me). Yesterday, I ran into one of those girls, and asked her how she was. When I got home, I remembered my fantasies (I confessed these and kicked the habit a long time ago), expressed my remorse for them, and said a long prayer for the wellbeing of this girl and all the others. I felt so happy; I feel as if God has not only forgiven me, but allowed me, to a point, reverse the guilt. :slight_smile:

I think these verses are worth meditating on too:

**But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. Eph 2:5

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Rom 5:8**

I believe that it is merely an example of a human making the best out of his circumstances. That’s just my own take on it though.

Thank you,
Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk

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