Where are all the FAITHFUL Catholics?


I have never met a Catholic who is one hundred percent faithful to Church teaching. Most of them endorse birth control and they even condone abortion in certain cases.

I consider myself a faithful Catholic because I follow Church teaching. I am currently single but I would love to find a wife and have a very large family. I don’t agree with birth control and I want to have as many children as the Lord sees fit to give me.

I want to find a woman who holds the same views but I know that most Catholics endorse birth control. It has been said that over 60% of Catholics now use some form of artificial birth control, and to be honest, I think that number is far higher. No one seems to agree with the Church on this matter. Even my Priest thinks that the prohibition of birth control is a mistake. He has said that Humane Vitae was the biggest error of Paul VI’s papacy.

Where are all the faithful Catholics? I feel like the only one; and believe me, I take no pride in saying this. I wish I knew other Catholics of the same age who were loyal to Church teaching. I tried going to my University chaplaincy but I found the place to be very liberal; they had gay pride flags on the walls etc. I knew that I wouldn’t fit in there so I never went back.

I attend the Tridentine Mass every week. The Priests who celebrate this Mass are supposed to be very orthodox, but this is only a stereotype. The priest I mentioned above celebrates the Tridentine Mass nearly every week and he does not agree with Church teaching. I hoped to meet other young people at Mass but my Church is full of older people; both at the New Mass and the Tridentine Mass. There are a few young people at certain Masses but they never attend on a regular basis and I never get to speak to them anyway.

I really want to live my faith but it is very hard. I want a girlfriend but I know that I will end up sinning if I get one. I will not find a faithful Catholic woman. To be honest, even finding a regular church going woman is going to be difficult and I am not going to start seeing a woman only because she goes to Church. I am looking for more than that.

It feels as if I am not compatible with the modern world. My moral code seems more appropriate to the 1950’s. I’ve started a new job and I find it shocking how many people endorse homosexuality and other kinds of sexual sin. Some of the stories that they tell me are really disgusting. My beliefs seem out of date and different from the general public. All sorts of perversions are now accepted and I feel intolerant for not accepting them. To be honest, I have had to hide my beliefs because I know that they will alienate me from most of my co-workers. If I said that I disagreed with homosexuality and birth control they would think I was wierd.

I feel like a one-man band. Where can I go to meet faithful Catholics? I feel so hypocritical for laughing at dirty jokes and praising co-workers for their sins (committing adultery, sleeping around etc). I don’t like it but I feel like I have to do this to fit in and it just isn’t me; or it isn’t the sort of thing I want to do. I want to live a good Catholic lifestyle.

Also, the Catholics I met at the Chaplaincy were so different from me. They were all middle class and I am working class; I didn’t feel a connection to them whatsover because we had nothing in common. We came from different worlds. They were all posh. I would never become friends with them in different circumstances. We are like chalk and cheese; totally different in every way.

Anyway…I’ll stop rambling…I could go on and on. It feels good to get things off my chest.


You might want to start by curbing your arrogant attitude.

Just because many of us struggle, or were taught error or not taught at all, does not mean we have no faith. Yet, you call anyone who does not succeed in living up, 100%, to ONE Church teaching, not faithful.

There is a lot more to our faith than the one teaching about birth control. Those of us who struggle or fail on that one still believe that Jesus Christ is the one and only begotten Son of God. We believe that we should help the poor, the hungry, the homeless, and the disenfrachised in His name, and we do the best we can. We believe that we should love others in His name, and we do the best we can. And we fail, and go to Confession, beg His forgiveness, and start over.

The Church is for sinners. If everyone in it were perfect, there would be no need for it.

P.S. “Posh” and “middle class” hardly are the same thing. I am a great Anglophile, so I know what posh means. And no one said you had to “praise” anyone for their sins. You could just keep politely silent. You seem to be hemming yourself into an artificially and unecessarily narrow world, not only with your definitions about who is faithful, but with your nonsensical equivalency of things that don’t go together.

I realize I was mostly pretty negative in this post. The way to find what you want is to stay true to your own principles. You don’t have to ride a high horse, condemn others, or force your religion on others to do this. Remember, your Father who sees in secret will reward you. Just live the way you think you should, keep trying to meet women at Church. You will be able to tell fairly quickly whether they are right for you or not, and then you can move on before anyone gets too involved emotionally. I know the UK is such a very secular place anymore. Less than 10% of registered C of E members attend services with any regularity. I don’t know how it is for Catholics, but I would expect the numbers of active ones are pretty small. Look at poor Tony Blair. He waited until out of office to go through with his conversion, because anyone who openly talks about religion is considered a “nutter” as he put it. Have you considered moving somewhere, perhaps Ireland or the Continent, that has a higher number of active Catholics and might have more of the kind of women you are looking for?

I find it really irritating the way this one teaching is regarded by some as the whole of our faith, the end-all-be-all of Catholicism. When people commit murder, rape, child abuse, adultery, incest, robbery, embezzlement, theft, slander, or a hundred other sins, no one automatically says, well, that person is not a REAL Catholic. They say, that person needs to go to Confession and re-establish themselves in God’s grace. And that is the truth for ALL sins, including the use of artificial contraception. I think people who elevate this particular teaching above all others get some kind of pleasure out of being so radically countercultural, and call that faith. It’s one sin out of many, and should be treated as such.


Perhaps, it’s just me but the OP didn’t come across as arrogant at all.

It seemed to be more of a fustration to me, and a pretty darn legitimate one.

I haven’t got any clever words, mate. But I will add you into my rosary tonight. :slight_smile:

Blessed be God,



Saying that other people, whose heart he does not know, are FAITHLESS, doesn’t strike you as arrogant?


You’re the guy who posted about coming to the USA to train as a boxer at Gleason’s, right?

Anyway, I’m sure you will get the usual “hang on and don’t lose hope” and “I will pray for you” type of responses, so I will talk as a stereotypical male who tries to analyze/solve problems.

It is distressing that the Tridentine priest says that, but I wonder if it is more of a problem that you are in Europe, which is typically more secular than the US.

Some possible suggestions:

  1. Are there any Opus Dei coed young adults near you?

  2. Are there any expatriate Irish or Polish communities near you? They tend to be among the more conservative end of the European spectrum, and I have been reading that the reason the Catholics outnumber the Anglicans in the UK is due to the influx of Polish immigrants, and I know I’ve met up with a group of them and they are very rock-solid.


Gee, I know of no Catholic (other than the good Lord Himself, and well, He is the good Lord) who is 100% faithful to the Church.

But that which you truly complain: You feel called to Marriage and practice the marital embrace faithfully, but have yet to find a woman with whom to enter it!

Mass, particularly a TLM Mass, where the emphasis is on silence and reverence, is not the place to meet people; after, perhaps, but not during Mass.

I would get over the “working class” versus “middle class” attitude. You don’t know where God has raised your intended, and she might very well be a virtuous, sweet woman with every intention of being the Perfect Wife- and she may have scads of money.

Have you thought about perhaps an online dating service, such as Ave Maria?


they are all around me, most know and do their best to follow Church teaching on marriage and family, and apply the teaching to all areas of life. Where they run into problems they do their best to seek the healing and other remedies offered by the Church to resolve them.


Just as a follow-on to Norseman’s post…

The Polish priests I have met have been far and away some of the best priests EVER. I don’t know what it is about Polish Catholicism, perhaps it was energized by a native Pope, but they just seem to turn out really wonderful priests. Thoroughly orthodox, totally unapologetic about it, and yet compassionate and understanding at the same time. I don’t usually do face to face confession… but I was comfortable enough to do so with one of the Polish priests we met in the (U.S.) Air Force.


He seems more frustrated and worried that he may have to compromise his faith in order to get married - you know, the whole “avoid the near occasion of sin” thing. He has given concrete examples. His concerns are legitimate.


It has been said that the Catholic Church in Poland is more conservative than the Vatican. It could be that Poland, through the years of partition, Nazi occupation, and the Soviet bloc era, had persecution to strengthen it - indeed the Catholic Church was the only institution that was an alternative, and may have been shielded from some of the outside liberal influences.

But Chevalier would be able to give a more accurate assessment than I, since he lives there.


Don’t need to praise coworkers for adultery. :wink:


Send one my way, willya? :rotfl: :rotfl:


Ah, you aren’t praying enough, or you would know where she is!!!:wink:


I am 28, my husband is 29 and we have 5 children. We will take as many children as God plans to give us. We are part of the working class (my husband works, and I stay home), and sometimes it is lonely, because it seems like we are the only young family around doing what we are doing (having a large family, homeschooling, not having a lot financially). I do not think that I am better than others for doing these things, I feel like they are the things that God wants me to do for him. No, I do not get some kind of joy out of being weird. I wish that I wasn’t always the “weird one.” It gets very tiring always being looked at everywhere we go like we have some kind of disease or something! It gets very tiring always being treated as “second rate” by the culture around us. It is God who gives us strength and gets us through the tough times. We have found it very hard to form friendships with people of our own age who have the same beliefs that we have. We have made a lot of wonderful friends among the older people of our parish, and I am so thankful for that! My advice would be trust in the Lord! He has a perfect plan for your life. He will lead you to the one that he has chosen for you! Do not give in to the culture around you, stay true to God and he will bless you! :slight_smile:

Jeremiah 29:11


Personally, I think this is where you need to start.

If you are not comfortable being authentic, then you need to focus in on yourself and making some changes.

If you are not comfortable with who you are and what you believe, it will difficult to attract the kind of person you want to find for a wife.

Live out your baptismal call in the world, don’t hide your light under a bushel basket. I also think Opus Dei is a good idea, but for a different reason-- not for a dating service but for a path to holiness and an example of how to live your faith in everyday, ordinary work.

I think this dissonance you are experiencing internally probably gives off “vibes” externally. Certainly you “whoa is me” attitude gives off a certain something, and not something positive. These attitudes of yours color who you are and yes, people do pick up on them.

This may be some sort of British class system thing, but it seems like bunk to me. You are overlooking the fact that you have THE most important thing in common-- your faith.


I’m just having an off day. I shouldn’t really share negitivity with others.

I’m not arrogant. I’m not judging others. I don’t have a “woe is me” attitude. I have lots of friends and I am usually very positive.

If people want to use birth control that’s their business. I don’t want to use it but I know that I probably will have to in the future. That’s were my problem arises.

I don’t think that people who use contraception are “faithless” - of course they aren’t; they believe in Christ and try to live good lives. However, if they endorse artificial birth control, then they are not in line with official church teaching - that is a fact.

Thanks for all of the replies thus far. Sorry if I offended anyone - that wasn’t my intention. I’m also sorry if I came across as judgemental or arrogant, I didn’t mean to be.


Sounds like she knows something we don’t, bro!

Apparently, the Norsemen are going to have to get together for a parish hopping roadtrip through the Chicago burbs to find which church they’re hiding out in at prayer.


OK, wait a minute. Now you’ve lost me completely.

Contraception is a mortal sin and it’s not negotiable.

Don’t worry about it. Sometimes the written word does not adequately convey intent or tone.


To the OP…how old are you anyway?? Your profile says “student”. I am curious as to student of what??



If you hide your beliefs, then expect people like you may also hide their beliefs. There may be other Catholics around you wondering the very same question. I agree with post #15 that you need to start with changing that. You don’t have to be judgemental or mean, but stop laughing at inappropriate remarks or appearing as if you agree with adultery. That type of behavior does *not *attrack the type of woman you say you want. When people bring up birth control, instead of ignoring it or agree or arguing, you start by simply mentioning that you hope to have a large family one day.

As far as the point that “even the priest” doesn’t agree with Church teaching, Catholic priests are leaders, not followers. If the Catholics around you don’t follow the Church teachings, consider that they may have have been misled by their leaders. I no longer use contraception, but I used to use it. I heard Catholics in authority speak about contraception as if it was no big deal and was lead to believe that the Church would eventually change it’s position–that hardly leads one to follow Church teachings. If you attend Mass offered by a priest that believes and teaches what the Church teaches, you are much more likely to find other Catholics who follow them.

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