Where does a young, faithful Catholic guy meet faithful catholic girls?


#1

I’m asking because i’m in somewhat of a tough situation. I live in a rural area where there aren’t many people my age in general, and most people (women included) who are my age aren’t living the best lives and their aren’t really groups for men my age. So what’s a good place to meet Catholic women? The nearest large city is about an hour away, but haven’t’ found anything like a theology on tap or young persons catholic group, at least that’s active. I also don’t want to use online dating. I used match for a while and did meet some interesting people, but even if i used a Catholic site, i don’t think it would be good. So are their any suggestions?


#2

Try scoping out:

-The Traditional Latin Mass
-Adoration Chapel
-Confession line
-After Mass Coffee and Donuts
-The Steps of a Monastery during times when women decide to discern out

You will likely have to make some sort of verbal effort to get her attention.


#3

Not to be negative, but there are a few problems with a few of these suggestions

  1. Adoration Chapel- I don’t know where to find one, and to be honest, I can go to adoration in my hometown rather than drive somewhere farther, and I guess I feel it isn’t right to be looking while at worship "or as it was put in the movie The Quiet Man, ‘playing patty fingers in the holy water’ I go to adoration, I go to pray. This can go for TLM as well, although after church meeting would be okay.

  2. Confession Line- I’ve never seen a line for confession anywhere unfortunately

  3. After Mass Coffee and Donuts- This could work after the TLM, but once again at my home parish there are issues since almost everyone is over 40. (I’m 23 BTW)

Thanks for the suggestions though, I will try the TLM sometime. Also, what is steps of the monastery. I’ve never heard of this at least in my diocese. We also don’t have any monasteries, mostly communities of religious sisters and a seminary, so I’m unaware of any events like this. Thank you:thumbsup:


#4

You’re not going to pick up women, but you will get a better idea of who is just the “church on Sundays” type, and who is actually devoted to their faith.

  1. Confession Line- I’ve never seen a line for confession anywhere unfortunately

That’s unfortunate, as this one was suggested by a priest, as it is a way to find someone who is trying to grow in virtue and holiness, which will make for a good marriage.

  1. After Mass Coffee and Donuts- This could work after the TLM, but once again at my home parish there are issues since almost everyone is over 40. (I’m 23 BTW)

Parish tip: The older people are the eyes and the ears of a parish. They always seem to know everyone and everything going on, including the singles scene (when I arrived at my parish, this was all they seemed to care about, was me “situation”). Older people also have adult children.

Also, what is steps of the monastery. I’ve never heard of this at least in my diocese. We also don’t have any monasteries, mostly communities of religious sisters and a seminary, so I’m unaware of any events like this. Thank you:thumbsup:

It’s a joke adapted for men looking for holy single women. Many are in monasteries discerning their vocation to the Religious Life. Sometimes they discern out and decide to leave the monastery. You can wait on the outside steps on the monastery, and find them as they’re leaving. :wink: I was joking about that. It suggests desperation.


#5

At a Catholic bookstore.

Volunteer worker at a church festival.


#6

I realize this is still an online idea, but it's the best I've got.

You're already doing it. Right here in this thread. Just scale it up.

Start a website/forum dedicated to bringing young Catholic men and women together in a supportive environment. Aim it at your geographic region.

Lots of people must have the same problem you do. Be the guy who helps solve their problem. Be a leader, and put yourself in the middle of the solution.

If you work hard at helping everybody else with this same challenge, you won't have to find a good Catholic girl, she'll find you.

Good luck!


#7

i have pretty much given up to a degree on dating, i have faced the same problems of where to find women, not even considering finding actual practicing catholic women..

I did get a laugh on the last ditch on hangn around a monastery as women are discerning out .

and as for the confession line, good grief i would find that just odd , as how does one approach another person, i cant personally see anyone being comfortable chit chatting or wanting to meet someone else in a confessional line.... maybe that too was a joke i dont know.

i have also tried different dating sites catholic and non/ and anyone that is worth their weight in gold is states away and i dont even bother sending a hello.

It really gets to be a drag when your town is dried up, or a retirement community, etc..

though there are good suggestions to keep trying by being involved in ones parish with on going events that are held, i mean if anything you run through all the numbers of chance that either someone knows someone who is single / getting introduced to a single person or at the very least meeting a new friend who maybe later down the road introduces you to a single person.

seems like small towns do not favor single people much.

if anything i would suggest enjoy being single, dont let being single become a negative, staying optomistic to wanting a relationship is important...


#8

Where does a young, faithful Catholic guy meet faithful catholic girls?

At catholic fellowship activities in your parish that you start if there are none!


#9

[quote="Deo_Gratias42, post:4, topic:292476"]
It's a joke adapted for men looking for holy single women. Many are in monasteries discerning their vocation to the Religious Life. Sometimes they discern out and decide to leave the monastery. You can wait on the outside steps on the monastery, and find them as they're leaving. ;) I was joking about that. It suggests desperation.

[/quote]

Considering that the last lady I dated broke up with me to enter a religious community (and did receive her habit), I don't consider this far-fetched. My pastor suggested that I try the Polish Mass at the parish, but after one, I told him "All the single ladies here are nuns - I need to catch one coming OUT of the convent instead of GOING IN!"


#10

[quote="PeterJohn, post:8, topic:292476"]
Where does a young, faithful Catholic guy meet faithful catholic girls?

At catholic fellowship activities in your parish that you start if there are none!

[/quote]

Peter John, not to be negative, but I currently am a member of a small rural parish in a farming town that maybe has 100 people. The parish doesn't have many young people. I'm sure the average age is about 75, and most younger people have moved away and they don't really know other young people. Also, even in towns that are not that far away there is not much in the way of young people. If there are people my age involved in the church they are married. Even in the main city of my diocese (which is about 50 miles away) they don't really have things for young people. I looked for a theology on tap and the Facebook page hasn't been updated in two years. There is a college age one since it has a large university, but since I am out of school I wouldn't feel its my place. Maybe God wants me to be single forever, even if I don't want to be


#11

I think you need to sort out your priorities. There are many resources if you are looking for a relationship that will lead to marriage. Making the effort to join a youth group (even if it is an hour away) or even courtship online are two feasible options. 23 is way too young to think that you are doomed to be single forever. So, I suggest that if you want a serious relationship, examine your options and pursue the best possible choice. Above all, do not give up hope and keep praying! :)


#12

[quote="benjammin, post:1, topic:292476"]
I'm asking because i'm in somewhat of a tough situation. I live in a rural area where there aren't many people my age in general, and most people (women included) who are my age aren't living the best lives and their aren't really groups for men my age. So what's a good place to meet Catholic women? The nearest large city is about an hour away, but haven't' found anything like a theology on tap or young persons catholic group, at least that's active. I also don't want to use online dating. I used match for a while and did meet some interesting people, but even if i used a Catholic site, i don't think it would be good. So are their any suggestions?

[/quote]

How about joining some Catholic Volunteer Charities, i.e Legion of Mary, helping out in your local Catholic Charity/Church, some of my friends met there husbands this way.


#13

[quote="Deo_Gratias42, post:4, topic:292476"]

It's a joke adapted for men looking for holy single women. Many are in monasteries discerning their vocation to the Religious Life. Sometimes they discern out and decide to leave the monastery. You can wait on the outside steps on the monastery, and find them as they're leaving. ;) I was joking about that. It suggests desperation.

[/quote]

Oh, hey.... if you do decide that approach, definitely take a puppy with you. If you don't own a puppy, get one. Puppies are magnets for attracting people,

;)

Okay, this is only a little less far-fetched, but have you considered the geographic cure? What is keeping you in Huskerland (besides Saturday afternoons in the autumn?)

Would you consider relocating to a town with an orthodox Catholic college or university? Perhaps one which is historically a women's college, and might still have a favorable gender ratio? If you are 23, you are still likely to be of interest to college age women, particularly the juniors and seniors.


#14

[quote="mariyka, post:5, topic:292476"]
At a Catholic bookstore.

Volunteer worker at a church festival.

[/quote]

Great ideas. I often go to the Catholic Information Center in Washington, DC. The CIC has a huge bookstore and daily Mass. Beautiful ladies drift through all day long. Its easy to surmise that those attending daily Mass during the work week are fairly devout.

That being said, I have a beautiful wife with whom I've been happily married for 27 years. I will be no competition for you! :)


#15

[quote="benjammin, post:10, topic:292476"]
Even in the main city of my diocese (which is about 50 miles away) they don't really have things for young people. I looked for a theology on tap and the Facebook page hasn't been updated in two years. There is a college age one since it has a large university, but since I am out of school I wouldn't feel its my place. Maybe God wants me to be single forever, even if I don't want to be

[/quote]

50 miles goes by pretty quickly after the first few times-that's the average commuter time committment (40-45 min) for those who attend the Latin mass in my area. (it does go faster with Catholic radio, something to sing along to, or a book on tape:) )
a run for the city will help you meet more people in general. Perhaps some will become friends. Perhaps these friends will know other people you might like to meet...
The chair of my department in college dated the guy who delivered her hay...and was darn glad to have met him. Your value as a person does not stem from how many paper credentials you obtain and I doubt you would want to spend much time with women who thought otherwise. A Catholic group at a college is a Catholic group-you qualify-let us know what they're up to. they might be interested in doing things off acmpus as well (retreats, get togethers, charitable projects)
What are your interests? Our faith of course:thumbsup:
But you might also want to join other organizations (fishing, book clubs, whatever you want to enjoy for many years to come) and see who likes to do what you like to do.
Given the demographics of your community, either you or your future spouse is likely to have to move as you seem to be the only person in your age group in the area. It's an idea to start considering.
I chuckled over the puppy idea. A neighbor of mine bought a pair of husky pups and two years later was married. He told me that if he knew how much women liked dogs he'd have bought one years ago. (of course that solution does not come with a guarantee, and does require taking puppies where potentially eligible women abound and dealing with chewed rugs, etc:D

Now is a great time to work on becoming a great future husband and daddy. Don't worry too much about rushing things-my youngest brother married at 30 and we were just talking about how awesome his wife is-well worth the wait. You will be in my prayers this week. May God bless us all!


#16

Join a meetup for young Catholics (meetup.com).


#17

What’s keeping me here honestly is the fact I have no money, and as of yet no job. Even if I get one, unless it’s really far away I will probably commute since I still live with my mother. Thats another issue altogether. I still live at home and its not a great faith environment. My mother is a catholic convert who never really went over to the catholic way of thinking (she’s spiritual but religious and still sees herself as an ELCA lutheran), and even though she’s fairly supportive (she loved that I was a part of the Newman Center, but when I suggest being a focus missionary or something like that she always brings up how would I make money
and things like that. She would be supportive of me getting my masters, but I want one in history and geography and I don’t know if a place like Benedictine in Atchison KS would have that. I also don’t think TLM would be a great idea (at least regularly) just because I go to mass here in my parish and fortunately my diocese is the most orthodox in the country so the parishes are all in line. Anyway though there seem to be a lot of obstacles, and those are just the beginning:hypno:


#18

[quote="benjammin, post:17, topic:292476"]
What's keeping me here honestly is the fact I have no money, and as of yet no job.

[/quote]

But you do have access to the Internet. With the net, you are no longer isolated in a small town, but are part of a huge global village. For hundreds of generations young people in your position had no such remedy available.

With a service like Skype you can spend hours a day talking face to face with Catholic women your age all over the world. You can actually get to really know them before all the other more confusing issues are available to distract you.

You're looking for a miracle here, and one's been handed to you. You're using it right now. Get off your butt, make good use of the gift you've been given, and go for it!


#19

[quote="benjammin, post:17, topic:292476"]
What's keeping me here honestly is the fact I have no money, and as of yet no job. Even if I get one, unless it's really far away I will probably commute since I still live with my mother. Thats another issue altogether. I still live at home and its not a great faith environment. My mother is a catholic convert who never really went over to the catholic way of thinking (she's spiritual but religious and still sees herself as an ELCA lutheran), and even though she's fairly supportive (she loved that I was a part of the Newman Center, but when I suggest being a focus missionary or something like that she always brings up how would I make money
and things like that. She would be supportive of me getting my masters, but I want one in history and geography and I don't know if a place like Benedictine in Atchison KS would have that. I also don't think TLM would be a great idea (at least regularly) just because I go to mass here in my parish and fortunately my diocese is the most orthodox in the country so the parishes are all in line. Anyway though there seem to be a lot of obstacles, and those are just the beginning:hypno:

[/quote]

I agree with the above poster that looking online seems like the most feasible option, although, I can safely say with experience, it's not so bad having Mom drop you off. I live at home with my parents and some siblings, and although it is not an ideal situation, my mother usually drops me off if I have to go to work or even to the mall with a friend. Plus, I think you would be surprised at how supportive your mom can be; I am sure that since it would greatly increase your happiness by making new friends/establishing connections, she would be all for it.


#20

I met my wife on the interwebs! :thumbsup:


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