Where is my Truth? My Vocation?


So I’ve been discerning the Priesthood since July of 2010, I’ve been a Catholic for almost a year now, came in April 2011. I’ve felt the call to be a Priest since before I was Catholic, and because of that call I became a Catholic. Now almost two years later, I’m so confused still on what to do and where to go. The reason, well let’s make story time real quick.

Situation: I started entering into my discernment in July 2010 and officially in September 2010. I have been living celibate since 2007 so that I can utilize my time for God more and serve as a minister to his people. I was a protestant student minister in High School and I was a Student Military Chaplain at my college for four years converting to Catholicism my last year.

Problem: Well there’s this problem, its called a women. The first time I met her, I knew there was something different. This is going to sound weird, but I usually don’t have attraction for anyone or anything. I love God so much that he is usually my only attraction and thus I consider myself a consecrated man to God alone, so basically, I’m taken. This girl though keeps popping up every single time I get into a serious part of my discernment, I get really excited about my discernment and she pops up. I’ve known her for over a year, and I did fall in love with her, she’s my best friend, but nonetheless, its constant. I’ve discerned the Diocesan Priesthood, felt God say no, and now I’m discerning an Itinerant Order (Franciscans, Dominicans). She brings me a lot of Peace when I’m with her, and joy, but I figure that’s just part of actually being in love with her. Not infactuated, that’s passed already, so I’m so confused how I could love someone like this and may be called to be a Priest or Religious. I’m divided, between her and the Priesthood, not her and God, but her and the Priesthood, because I feel God so strongly when I’m with her. There’s a natural peace and joy that I have when I’m with her and I’m really trying to figure this one out.

Not sure if anyone has any ideas or good readings on this could be of some use, would talk to my spiritual director, but he’s sort of in the Mayo Clinic right now so that’s not really an option.

Prayers would be appreciated as I figure this one out.


Wow, you sound like you have had a busy life! I am sure that everything (whether you become a priest, marry, etc.) will fall into play. But what you are experiencing right now is perfectly normal. Don’t take my word for it, but more than one priest has told me that chaste relationships are okay for discerners- just let the girl know of your intentions. I would say to be careful; you already have strong feelings for this girl!


I'm not a Catholic, but I have a Catholic friend who was pondering going to seminary at one point. He's very serious about his faith. Of course, I told him to be careful in what he decides to do. Becoming a priest requires a lot of commitment.

Anyways, he's found a girl that he really likes, so I don't think he'll be considering any sort of seminary for a while.

If you really feel at peace with her, and if you really think God has placed her in your life to have a relationship with, perhaps you ought to give her serious consideration.

And if you still wish to become a priest and remain a Catholic, the Eastern Catholic churches do allow married clergy, at least as parish priests, IIRC.


Hello my friend it seems you are in a bit of a problem. i suggest becoming a deacon amongst the church and date and possibly marry this very nice and lovely girl you talk so much about. And if the deacon part of the vocation doesn't fill it you can go farther and be a lay person of a order. For example my grandma is a 3rd order carmelite.Someone please correct me if i'm wrong but i believe you can join more than one order as a lay person. And since you are a catholic man i think you might like the knights of colombus. Im not a knight yet you have to be 18 right now im 13 so i've got a ways to go. but it seems like something you may enjoy they do a lot for the community especially alms giving. If you are very serious about taking up the holy orders of a priest and not holy orders of a deacon then speak with the priest at your church i'm sure he'd be more than happy to help you out. i will pray for you your little friend and your family. may God bless you protect you and guide you. Oooh and one last thing watch some videos on Youtube about the priesthood there is tons trust me i know but one in particular that is my personal favorite it is entertaining educational has some humor and is good to see especially for you. the video is called "peter parker a priest" a odd name it sounds like but you'll see why its called that if you watch it.:signofcross::gopray::gopray2::getholy::crossrc::knight2:


Like my good priest friend said to me when I asked him if he thought my boyfriend and I were a good match:
" I wasn't fully sure what I was supposed to do back then when I thought about becoming a priest.. God doesn't take the choice away from us. We have to make a choice and then give that choice our very best".

What do you really wanna do?

Do you think the young lady likes you too? Because if you do, you might wanna try to envision life without her and see how that makes you feel. If she likes you too, and you don't decide to pursue her, she will probably soon leave for her own protection.

If you really want to become a priest, I don't think you should be nurturing the friendship with a lady whom you are attracted to.
Dont lead her on, and don't waste her time.
God is kind to you, placing two good infront of you.


I know what I wanna do, but I wonder if its what God wants for me or what I want for myself. I do want to be a Priest, but sometimes I wonder if I want to be a Priest, or if God wants me to be a Priest. I want to minister, I want to preach and I want to teach the Gospel, yes I understand that is what the Deacon does, but I want to go further than that. I want to make a real difference in the world and further God's kingdom.

The lives of the Saints motivate me so much to make a difference, to change the world, but I don't know how to do that or if I could do that if I were married.

I know how I feel when I think of not having her there, unrest. She is my source of satisfying peace, that flows from the wellspring of God's great love. I have so much fear over the situation though, we're both extremely close to our faith and our friendship is completely based on spiritually nurturing each other and making sure we do what we're suppose to do and staying close to God, so basically, its completely based on God. Its the rock of the friendship and I started teaching her Lectio Divino and other Catholic based meditations. Sort of how it all started. Yet there's a strong spiritual attraction because she reminds me so much of our Blessed Mother and her heart is so beautiful in that respect, its not so much physical as it is that, and that's what brings more fear into me cause usually its a physical attraction that guys are attracted to.

Yes Grace, God is good, but in this situation I really wish he would show me the path to one or the other. She already knows I'm discerning the Priesthood and she told me she still wants me to discern, so I'm planning on going on retreats with the Franciscans and Dominicans all next month. Although, I'm doing this, she doesn't see me called to be a Priest (the only one out of all of my friends) and something almost tells me that even though I'm going to these come and see retreats, I'm not going to find the answer I want. I know at some point I'm going to have to invest in Her or the Priesthood/Religious life and when I do I can't look back. As Christ says:

"No man who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service of the kingdom of God." (Luke 9:61-62).


Sometimes in life you have what looks like a choice between two good options.

In your shoes, I would talk to a couple of vocations directors. More than just one vocation director; i guess I would like to hear a couple of different takes on it. Vocation directors have heard and experienced a lot, so this is a good way to get information and insight.

Keep in mind that the grass may always seem greener on the other side of the fence. Sometimes married life is no fun.


Hey Dude,

I was in the same situation like you when i was in seminary several years ago. I know that it's not a funny situation because you look like shared and don't know in what direction you have to go.

Just know that in all discernment process you have a lot of fights, and sometime it's to help us to make a good and best choice for our life.

I just have to tell you to pray to much and to understand your heart. Think about what will be better for your, try to imagine your life in 10 years with the girl, and in 10 years in the priesthood or religious life.
The response will only come inside you, you Spiritual Director could tell you all you want or you need to hear, but the decision will come from yourself.

I don't know how to translate for you a friend phrasal which can help you : "Tout choix doit tuer' that means : Every Choice Has To Kill.

This requires a sacrifice : Sacrifice of the Girl if you choose the priesthood, and sacrifice of priesthood if you choose the Girl.

Now remember Jesus words : who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is not worthy of me, or go, sell whatever you have and follow me...

I can give you many phrases like that in the bible, but only you know what it's better for you. I can only pray for you.

If you have any questions, don't hesitate, just know that i imagine you situation now.

God bless you.

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