Which Anniversary should we Celebrate?

Hi All,

My husband and I were married outside of the Church in 2013. He is Catholic and I am from a Methodist background but going through RCIA this year (started at the end of last years RCIA class). We did not receive a dispensation to be married outside the Church the first time around and so were invalidly married and thus went through the Convalidation process and were validly married in April earlier this year.

My question is then, would it be wrong for us to celebrate our anniversary on the date of our first ceremony since that was considered a sin? Also, we have lots of wonderful photos which do capture our love for each other from that day that I now feel torn when I look at them… would a faithful Catholic look at them and think why are you displaying photos from the day you turned away from God?

Has anyone else on here faced this question? What would you do?

I truly believe you are being too hard on yourself. What is important is that you are sacramentally married now. I would still enjoy my original photos and celebrate either or both
dates. I doubt anyone will judge you for showing your original photos. True Christians should not judge.

You might want to talk to your priest to feel reassured.

My good friend who was in a similar situation celebrates both days. I think that’s just fine. :slight_smile: God bless you.

We do too. :wink:

I don’t think it is an issue at all to celebrate both dates. I mean, all you would likely be doing is spending some time together and showing each other your appreciation for one another.

I thinkI would celebrate both days – they’re both very IMPORTANT!!!

Not at all! Don’t beat yourself up over this kind of stuff. That’s not what Catholicism is about. :slight_smile:

Also, we have lots of wonderful photos which do capture our love for each other from that day that I now feel torn when I look at them… would a faithful Catholic look at them and think why are you displaying photos from the day you turned away from God?

Well, you did set things right eventually, didn’t you? :thumbsup: I don’t think any Catholic I know would be so judgmental about a thing like that. (There are some wild-eyed corners of the webosphere which say that we shouldn’t even celebrate our children’s birthdays, but those are on the fringe. :p)

Has anyone else on here faced this question? What would you do?

Plenty of mixed marriages where I come from, though not mine personally (:)), and rectification often takes place post-hoc for a variety of cultural factors. No one’s too bothered about it. :wink:

So the first date is your civil marriage anniversary and the second is your matrimony anniversary.

Things don’t have to be so hard.
Celebrate.ideally, every day, giving thanks for a good marriage.

:thumbsup:

I also have some good friends in a similar situation who celebrate both anniversaries. The anniversary of their original marriage is the one the celebrate publicly. The anniversary of their convalidation is more of a private observance.

Conversely, I have friends who are priests who ultimately chose to come into full communion with the Church of Rome and were ordained as Catholic priests under the pastoral provision granted by Pope Saint John Paul II. We have had celebrations for their respective jubilees of ministry – as well as their much shorter anniversaries as a Catholic priest.

Of course you should celebrate both occasions without hesitancy. They are stages in your relationship…along with your first meeting and your first date.

Celebrate both if you like; the valid one could be a celebration of the day you were married, and the invalid one could be a celebration of the day you made the promise of marriage.

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