I asked this in the ask and apologist section also, because I really think I need a priest’s guidance with these issues, but just in case I don’t get an answer there I thought I might ask here as well, for advice if you have any and for prayers too… I don’t know if I would be brave and humble enough to ask someone IRL so this is kind of a last resort, my next option is to just switch churches.
I struggle with a lot of grave-matter sins. I have same-sex attraction (I used to be a part of Courage) and I struggle with depression and mental health, and I am a recovering cutter.
This is making a REALLY long story of struggle a lot shorter, but after falling away from the Church almost completely, and committing a long list of mortal sins, two days ago I went to Confession for the first time almost 6 months and I’m wanting to make an effort in my faith again.
But I discovered in the past several months, through counseling, that if I stop repressing my desires and act out sexually that my urge to cut myself is reduced drastically. And right now, with all the stress and fear of lost friendships and so much confusion around my faith and my identity, I need to do SOMETHING to reduce the tension and heartache.
So I was wondering, what’s worse? If I cut or if I act out sexually? How do other people deal with sublimating or redirecting sexual energy, because when I try I always seem to end up hurting myself instead and I honestly feel like I am standing on the a very thin balance beam when it comes to my mental health and my faith, and I feel like I am being required to choose between the two.