Which saint to help me?

I don’t know if this is where to post this, so if it is not, I am sorry.

So, I do not feel worthy of praying directly to God. I know this may not be right, and I hope it is not blasphemous, but I have committed horrid sins against Him, purposefully and knowingly, sometimes for no other purpose then to sin. I won’t get into deep detail here, as this is not the place, but I was a satanist for a LONG time, and am now trying to return to the church. So basically I don’t think God will want to hear my prayers for guidance directly. Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t know.

I was wondering if anyone could recommend a Saint who may speak to God on my behalf (if that is how it works). I am a lost soul looking for guidance.

Thank you in advance for any answers you may be willing to provide.

Josh

God wants to hear all our prayers. St. Paul reminds us that there is nothing that can separate us from the Love of God in Christ Jesus.

Since the saints are all in heaven, any one of them will intercede with the Father on your behalf. I’m sure other posters will offer you sage advice about which one(s) will be good choices, but you might start with St. Joseph, Protector of the Church and Mary.

Dear Josh, if you read the gospels you will see how very approachable Jesus is.
He welcomed and was kind to sinners even when others were shocked that He was.
But if you want to ask a saint to intercede for you, Saint Peter is a good one to approach. He made mistakes but had a good heart.
And really he did something really terrible.
Consider if your best friend is the kindest most loving and good man you could ever meet, and you’d spent a few years in his company. You even saw him work miracles…but then your friend is arrested on false charges, and he is going to be executed…so instead of standing by him when he is enduring an unjust court procedure and being tortured, you run off, pretend you don’t know him, and leave him to be tortured and to die in agony while you hide. That’s what Peter did.

What a human betrayal of the best friend and the best man who ever lived on this earth!
How spiritually terrible that was is also shown up in Jesus words, “If you deny me before men I will deny you before my Father in heaven.” Well, Peter did…and Jesus had already promised to stand by him as the rock on which He’d build his church. Some rock! however, after Jesus rose, He asked Peter three times if he loved Him. (That wasn’t much reparation to ask after such a terrible failure of love of God Incarnate!) Peter protested that he did love Jesus. Jesus forgave him completely and even after his perfidy and desertion, gave him grace to lead the Church and , in the end, we understand, to accept martyrdom himself…so perhaps you can find Peter helpful as an intercessor.
Mary of Magdala was also a serious sinner…who became Jesus’ faithful follower, and was the person to whom Jesus entrusted the message to His disciples that He had risen from the dead.

Oh, Josh-- Of COURSE God would be thrilled to hear your prayers! Do you remember the story of the prodigal son, from the Gospel of Luke (Luke 15:11-32)? That is exactly how Jesus tells His people that God rejoices when one who has left the fold returns to Him!

Mary of Magdala is an excellent patron for you, as is (of course) Mary, the Mother of Our Lord.

St. John the Baptist preached repentance, and remember-- he was the “baby in the womb” of Elizabeth, who leaped for joy when Mary greeted Elizabeth! Many people, including sinners, tax collectors, prostitutes, soldiers-- and even Jesus Himself-- came to John to be baptized. What a wonderful Saint to have at your side as you seek to be cleansed! :slight_smile:

There is also St. Theophilus-- an Archdeacon who had been removed from his position due to slander by the new bishop of what is now modern-day Turkey. In revenge, Theophilus made a pact with a demon to avenge himself on the bishop and regain his position. When he came to his senses, he begged for the help of Our Lady who intervened, recovered the pact, and tore it up. The pact was burned in the public square, and this legend has figured in many dramas since, including Goethe’s Faust.

Then we have St. Dismas-- kind of obscure and forgotten, but worthy of consideration. St. Dismas is “recognized” as a saint, with a saints’ day of March 25, though whether he was ever officially canonized is not certain… though he is regarded as a saint by virtue of Jesus.

St. Dismas was known as the “Good Thief”, the condemned man who was crucified along with Christ, and who rebuked the other thief. He was the one who said, “Neither dost thou fear God, seeing thou art condemned under the same condemnation? And we indeed justly, for we receive the due reward of our deeds; but this man hath done no evil. And he said to Jesus: Lord, remember me when Thou shalt come into Thy kingdom.” Remember what Jesus said to Dismas? “Amen I say to thee, this day thou shalt be with Me in paradise.” While the Scripture never actually names the Good Thief, the Church recognizes the name of the Good Thief as Dismas, a name given by tradition rather than any actual source. All that we know with any authority about St. Dismas (the name given by tradition to the good thief) is what we have from Sacred Scripture and ancient tradition. Tradition tells us that his name was Dismas and that he was the good thief who was crucified next to Our Lord on Good Friday. The only REAL and valid information that we have on Dismas is what is written in the Gospel of Luke:

The soldiers also mocked Him, coming to Him, and offering Him vinegar, and saying: If thou be the king of the Jews, save thyself.” And there was also a superscription written over him in letters of Greek, and Latin, and Hebrew: THIS IS THE KING OF THE JEWS. And one of those robbers who were hanged, blasphemed him, saying: If thou be Christ, save thyself and us. But the other answering, rebuked him, saying: Neither dost thou fear God, seeing thou art condemned under the same condemnation? And we indeed justly, for we receive the due reward of our deeds; but this man hath done no evil. And he said to Jesus: Lord, remember me when Thou shalt come into Thy kingdom. And Jesus said to him: Amen I say to thee, this day thou shalt be with Me in paradise. (St. Luke 23: 36-43).

So, there are MANY Saints who would be happy to pray for you! And of course, you can always pray to God and to Jesus on your own: “God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” (Lk 18:13), and the Divine Mercy prayer, “Jesus, I trust in You!”.

It’s as simple as ABC–

The ABC’s of Mercy
A – Ask for His Mercy. God wants us to approach Him in prayer constantly, repenting of our sins and asking Him to pour His mercy out upon us and upon the whole world.

B – Be merciful. God wants us to receive His mercy and let it flow through us to others. He wants us to extend love and forgiveness to others just as He does to us.

C – Completely trust in Jesus. God wants us to know that the graces of His mercy are dependent upon our trust. The more we trust in Jesus, the more we will receive.

If you haven’t done so already, I invite you to go to Confession. PLEASE don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed! Remember the Prodigal Son-- he went to his father, confessed to living the “wrong lifestyle”, and his father welcomed him back with open arms! That’s what Confession is all about-- telling the things that you’ve done, no matter how awful they sound to you, and being truly sorry (which it sounds as if you are… great start). and then being absolved for those sins, no matter how awful they seem. Remember, the only sin that God cannot forgive is the one that YOU won’t allow Him to forgive. So you practiced satanism. Okay, you sound sorry for that already, so if you tell it in Confession and truly feel sorry for it, and resolve not to sin again then you WILL be forgiven (absolved) from that sin and all of your sins. Then you will have a clean slate! :thumbsup: Next, do the penance that the Priest prescribes, be of a mind to avoid sin (disposition), and then go to Mass and receive Communion (we’ll presume that you haven’t divorced without an annulment), and then you’ll be back in full grace once again.

In Christ,
~Spoken4

Dear brother, welcome back to the Church.
There are many powerful saints you can ask for intercession.
One of my patrons is St. Raphael the Archangel. He is known as a healer.
St. Michael the Archangel is a warrior; ask him to protect you.
Ask Mary for her intercession.
St. Paul spent years persecuting the Church. He will be happy to intercede.
St. Pio lived in the 20th century and was a skilled confessor and battled Satan himself several times.

May you find God’s love and peace.

Dear Josh,
The greatest Saint in heaven is Our Lady–Mary, the Mother of God and our Mother, too. And the most powerful prayer against Satan and his works (other than the Mass and the Divine Office) is the Holy Rosary. It is easy to say and takes about 20 minutes. You can easily say a decade at a time throughout the day if that is easier. Our Blessed Mother never fails to lead us firmly in the right path if we ask for her help. Another little prayer to say throughout the day is this: “O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!” There is so much more to be said of her and volumes have been written, but this is a good little beginning. Be of good heart and courage and let Our Lady lead you.:slight_smile:
I will keep you in my prayers.
Pat

Josh, another thought on Confession: If you feel too self-concious to face the priest in the Confessional, remember that you can still say your confession from behind the screen, just like we did “in the old days”.

Many “modern” churches still offer that option, a rare few don’t (like a parish that I went to one time, in an “ethnic” neighborhood, that only offered ‘open’ Confession, with NO sort of closed Confessional, only chairs set up throughout the church and everyone saw who was where-- never again!) but some semi-traditional parishes like ours have the screen/barrier set up in a lighted Confessional. The priest can’t see you in our Confessionals if you choose the traditional method, but you aren’t in the confining dark “phone booth” anymore, either. It’s kind of like the best of both worlds, in a way.

Welcome back! :hug1:

In Christ,
~Spoken4

Thank you all so much for your kind words, and the warm welcome. I’m not sure I deserve it, but I do thank you from the bottom of my heart. I’ve been fearful of approaching the church or any member of it for a long while. Your open love and acceptance has brought me to tears. Thank you.

Regarding the responses on Confession, I have an appointment with a priest at one of our local churches on Friday for both Confession and a few questions I have about coming back to the church. Though I will say that I do not believe, that even after Confession, that I can take Communion. I am in an invalid marriage, that I think can be annulled because I am married civilly to a non-Christian woman, and I don’t think that it is a valid marriage as far as the Church is concerned, but we have not gotten a civil divorce yet, so I am not sure if it can be annulled until that happens.

Again, I thank you all so much for the kind words and suggestions. I have spent the entire time from the first response till I typed this in prayer, and though I don’t feel much better, your words have encouraged me to keep praying and I will be in prayer until I have to work in the morning. I will (not sure if it’s ok to do so, but I will) say a prayer for each of you, in thanks.

Josh

nobody is worthy to pray directly to God. not you, not me, nobody on these forums, not the pope. Nonetheless he calls us and expects us to pray to him, nay, he even command it. He also in is goodness has let us know we can also talk to him via others, like us who on earth went through everything we endure and more and now are saints, in fact, he says several times he expects us to pray with each other and with the saints in heaven. Such a deal. Saints are friends, you get to know them the way you get to know other friends, by finding out all you can about them and by conversing with them. Prayer is conversation. Have a talk with your Father today.

Hi Josh! WELCOME HOME :slight_smile:

The battle between good and evil is essentially between Lucifer and Michael. They are both angels, one without God, one with God.

I see that you have been given lots of good advice. So I am just going to post this prayer to St. Michael the Archangel.
Glorious Saint Michael, guardian and defender of the Church of Jesus Christ, come to the assistance of His followers, against whom the powers of hell are unchained. Guard with special care our Holy Father, the Pope, and our bishops, priests, all our religious and lay people, and especially the children.
Saint Michael, watch over us during life, defend us against the assaults of the demon and assist us especially at the hour of death. Help us achieve the happiness of beholding God face to face for all eternity.
Saint Michael, intercede for me with God in all my necessities, especially [insert intention] the soul of Josh who is returning to your loving arms. Obtain for me a favorable outcome in the matter I recommend to you. Mighty prince of the heavenly host, and victor over rebellious spirits, remember me for I am weak and sinful and so prone to pride and ambition. Be for me, I pray, my powerful aid in temptation and difficulty, and above all do not forsake me in my last struggle with the powers of evil. Amen.

You’re so welcome. :slight_smile: What you feel right now is probably how many “lapsed-but-returning Catholics” feel when they first come home. You are not alone. The Catholic family as a whole is always happy when one of ours comes back to the Faith. That joy is only exceeded when a non-Catholic, or a newborn, is welcomed into the family for the very first time!

Regarding the responses on Confession, I have an appointment with a priest at one of our local churches on Friday for both Confession and a few questions I have about coming back to the church. Though I will say that I do not believe, that even after Confession, that I can take Communion. I am in an invalid marriage, that I think can be annulled because I am married civilly to a non-Christian woman, and I don’t think that it is a valid marriage as far as the Church is concerned, but we have not gotten a civil divorce yet, so I am not sure if it can be annulled until that happens.

Your marriage situation would be a good thing to discuss with your priest. I can say with certainty that you would need to have a civil divorce before the annulment is issued (actually, declaration of nullity, to use the actual term). Your priest can discuss the procedure in more detail for you, but since you had a civil marriage without benefit of a priest and Catholic witnesses and the marriage took place outside the Church, then you would probably be able to annul/nullify the marriage based on a “defect or lack of form”. This is MUCH easier than obtaining a declaration of nullity for other reasons. Basically, this would be an administrative procedure-- but your priest can detail all that for you based on YOUR circumstances. However, you will need to have the civil divorce first. That much, I do know. But once the nullification takes place, you would once again be eligible to receive Communion as long as you’ve confessed any other mortal sins that you might have committed between your last confession prior to the annulment proceedings, and the finality.

But don’t let that stop you from going to Mass and receiving the other Sacraments such as Confession! Many people go to Mass without receiving Communion for many different reasons. You can always receive spiritual Communion-- that is, asking Jesus to come into your heart, even though you can’t receive the Sacrament of the Eucharist! Here is a prayer that you can say, in order to enjoy spiritual Communion. Of course, you are always welcome to pray during the Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. In fact, I encourage you to go to Adoration as much as you want right now. Few things match the peace and tranquility of just spending time with Jesus in the Physical Presence of the Eucharist…

*Spiritual Communion Prayer

My Jesus, I believe that You are present in the Most Holy Sacrament. I love You above all things, and I desire to receive You into my soul.

Since I cannot at this moment receive You sacramentally, come at least spiritually into my heart. I embrace You as if You were already there and unite myself wholly to You.
Never permit me to be separated from You.*

Again, I thank you all so much for the kind words and suggestions. I have spent the entire time from the first response till I typed this in prayer, and though I don’t feel much better, your words have encouraged me to keep praying and I will be in prayer until I have to work in the morning. I will (not sure if it’s ok to do so, but I will) say a prayer for each of you, in thanks.

Josh

You’re so welcome, and thank you for your prayers. Know, too, that we will be praying for you, as well. :signofcross:

God bless!

In Christ,
~Spoken4

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