I am grateful to all who contributed to this discussion, but I am annoyed at myself. Here we should build each other up, be positive and try to be helpful. But I seem to be locked into my difficulty in seeing God as good. My spiritual director and I do not discuss the matter much, as I fail to be convinced and make progress.
My only answer is to remember I am not God. we need to leave all in his hands, do our best and hope in his mercy for all.
I have added some quotes from St Paul about mutual encouragement, as well as others about acknowledging God’s supremacy.
that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by one another’s faith, yours and mine. (Rom. 1:12 NAB)
Let us then pursue what leads to peace and to building up one another.
(Rom. 14:19 NAB)
Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, as indeed you do. (1 Thess. 5:11 NAB)
So what is to be done, brothers? When you assemble, one has a psalm, another an instruction, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Everything should be done for building up. (1 Cor. 14:26 NAB)
to equip the holy ones for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of faith and knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the extent of the full stature of Christ, (Eph. 4:12-13 NAB).
But who indeed are you, a human being, to talk back to God? Will what is made say to its maker, “Why have you created me so?” Or does not the potter have a right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for a noble purpose and another for an ignoble one? (Rom. 9:20-21 NAB)
16 For “who has known the mind of the Lord, so as to counsel him?” But we have the mind of Christ. (1 Cor. 2:16 NAB)*